Dating Cousins
Open the
Bible Question Form to send your own question.
Q: Is it
right to date your cousin? I can't find anything in the
Bible about this subject, but we are taught that it is not
right to date your family. I am having a problem with this
because my child is dating my 3rd cousin, and in my heart I feel it is wrong.
A: Leviticus 18:6 states,
"None of you shall approach to any that is near of
kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the LORD."
The similar wording in Leviticus 20:17 and 20:21 show this
to at least
include marriage. The following verses in Leviticus eighteen
give a list
of those who are too close of kin to marry. They include
father, mother,
step-mother, sister, step-sister, grandchildren, aunt,
uncle, daughter in
law, and sister in law.
Technically, this does not prohibit marriage to cousins. The
fuller
prohibition has come partly from a desire to keep as far as
possible away
from something that is spoken of with such serious warning
in scripture.
Another reason is cultural. As our society has become more
numerous and
diverse, it has become more repulsive to us to marry close
to family. It
has also become a joke to put down those who were considered
to be from
the sticks--that is, rural folks who did not know any
better.
But let us consider your particular situation. You refer to
your child
dating your third cousin. Cousins usually share a common set
of
grandparents (though it can be only one grandparent) and
one-half of the
genetic pool. Second cousins usually share a common set of
great-grandparents and one-fourth of the genetic pool. Third
cousins
usually share a set of great-great-grandparents and
one-eighth of the
genetic pool. However, your child will only have one-half of
your genetic
pool and would only share one-sixteenth of the genetic pool
with your
third cousin. That is a very small amount. Many people who
grow up in the
same area probably have this much connection with their
spouses and do
not even know it.
Now, there may be other reasons that this arrangement is
bad. I would
certainly be very uncomfortable with a first cousin
arrangement since
this would be very close to the biblical prohibition. But
from what you
tell me about this situation, it is far from the biblical
warning. We may
naturally shrink from the idea of marrying a relative, but
in fact we are
all related. The difference is in how closely. The Bible
warns against
near kin marrying but the definition of near kin seems to be
much more
narrow than third or fourth cousins. God bless.
Till He comes,
Pastor David Reagan
|