With all the difficult challenges that a woman faces within the home, it should not be surprising that the Lord repeatedly gave warnings against a woman with a contentious spirit. How does the downward spiral begin? She may spend her life serving others with little to no thanks. She may honour and submit to a husband who deserves little honour or authority. If she does not continually walk with the Lord, she can become disillusioned with the Lord and with her duties as a mother and wife. She might begin to be contentious (Proverbs 21:9; Proverbs 25:24; Proverbs 27:15) causing greater problems in the home, perhaps to the point of causing those she loves to become bitter against her (Colossians 3:19).
The Lord gave specific commandments to both the husband and the wife. The Lord, knowing that man’s foremost love was, by nature, himself, commanded the man to “love” his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Additionally, the Lord, knowing that a woman would not naturally desire to submit, commanded the wife to submit to her own husband, as unto the Lord. This does not suggest that she only goes along with her husband so long as she agrees with his decisions, neither does it mean that she can never offer input into the decision-making process. But, in the end, she follows her husband’s leading, trusting the Lord to bless her faithfulness.
The Bible shows us that even heathen kings know it is proper for a woman to honour her husband. Some might suggest that because these words were spoken by a heathen, the reader should discount them, but these truths are supported elsewhere in scripture. For instance, Ephesians 5:33 says that the wife is to reverence her husband. Sara honoured Abraham, even to the point of calling him lord (1 Peter 3:6). Even Abigail, who had a husband that was a man of Belial, honoured her husband when she kept David from ending Nabal’s life (1 Samuel 25:23-33). A woman who honours her husband honours the Lord. She does so because the Lord commands it, not because her husband necessarily deserves her honour.
Godly ladies are known for the love they express toward others. Isaiah 49:15 might be used to argue otherwise, but the Lord references a mother’s love to depict the peak of earthly love. This passage simply points out that the mother’s love only fails to reach the pinnacle when compared to God’s own love toward His creation. God made a woman’s heart tender, but sin can harden this tender heart. For this reason, the older women within the New Testament church are instructed to nurture this particular trait within the younger women by teaching them how to love their husbands and their children (Titus 2:4). When things are spiritually right, the godly woman makes it her priority to care for those whom God has given her, and she does so in love. Examples of this love permeate the pages of scripture.
A good wife and mother will exemplify a type of selflessness like no one else upon the earth. Proverbs offers a wonderful examination into her life and ways. Her life is one of sacrifice, often putting the needs and wants of her household ahead of her own. She labours to take care of her family (Proverbs 31:16-19). She looks well to the ways of her household while enjoying little to no idle time (Proverbs 31:27). Yet at day’s end, she rises up to give meat to her household (Proverbs 31:15). All the while, she can open her mouth with wisdom with the law of kindness in her tongue (Proverbs 31:26). The Bible points to her only reward as the praise of her husband and children (Proverbs 31:28). This reward may seem insignificant to the world, but to her the love of her family is both sufficient and worth the effort.
The Bible explicitly emphasizes the spiritual responsibility of providing for one’s family. Sometimes believers wrongfully distinguish between the ministry work and any so-called secular work, but both are accomplished scripturally and prayerfully to please the Lord. 1 Timothy 5:8, in the direct context, deals with the responsibilities of providing for a household member who is a widow; yet, the emphasis upon “those of his own house” broadens the scope. A man who fails or refuses to provide for the needs of his family has “denied the faith” and said to be “worse than an infidel.” That is certainly a stiff and stern rebuke. It remains the man’s responsibility to provide for his family regardless of how far societal norms move away from God’s precepts. This does not mean that the woman cannot assist in the provision (Proverbs 31:13-16) but that the responsibility still belongs to the man.
The scripture never offers a positive viewpoint of meddling. One might consider intermeddling with wisdom as a good thing, yet the scripture teaches otherwise. Today’s passage states that a man through desire seeks and intermeddles with “all” wisdom. According to James, there are two major types of wisdom, earthly (James 3:15) and heavenly (James 3:17). According to Proverbs 18:1, the man intermeddles with all wisdom, including the earthly. He separates himself from the pure truth and opens his mind to all the various types of wisdom that the world offers. Just as the scriptural teaching on meddling in other places, the man has no business involving himself with the world’s wisdom.
The world constantly and consistently contradicts the truths of God. For instance, it has convinced mankind that it is manly to start a fight and cowardly to cease from strife. As is almost always the case, the world’s natural way of thinking stands in stark contrast to true scriptural teachings. According to scripture, “It is an honour for a man to cease from strife.” This reveals that the most honourable of men are those who through God-given wisdom are able to bring strife to a peaceable resolution without the need for war. A fool, however, continues to meddle until a fight breaks out. The Bible clearly states the dangers of meddling, yet a fool chooses to ignore the scriptural warning to his own hurt.
Meddling in the problems of others is a dangerous practice resulting in unforeseen outcomes. The Bible uses two comparisons to help convey the danger involved with meddling. Proverbs 17:14 compares meddling to the letting out of previously restrained water. The idea is that meddling with the problems belonging to others is like personally opening the gates once restraining a large body of water. The second comparison is found in Proverbs 26:17. The Bible says, “He that passeth by, and meddleth with strife belonging not to him, is like one that taketh a dog by the ears.” When someone does this, the dog turns upon the individual. Both of these warnings demonstrate the grievous dangers involved in unnecessarily meddling in the affairs of others.
Men frequently focus upon David’s extreme failures but fail to realize that he also exemplified a tremendous example of someone who understood loyalty. King Saul’s antics would have allowed most people to justify not affording Saul the loyalty his position warranted. Even many of David’s men held to this position. Yet, we read that David felt and acted otherwise. Although Saul repeatedly attempted to kill David, David did not take advantage of any of his opportunities to kill Saul. The Bible says that he refused to stretch forth his hand against the LORD’S anointed. Instead, David decided to send a message to Saul by cutting off the skirt of Saul’s robe. Because of David’s loyalty, even this act immediately smote his heart. His godly character trumped his personal frustrations toward the very man who sought to bring him grave, personal harm. Although David’s men were prepared and able to take the most aggressive actions, David advised against it.
