God is as equally concerned with what we do as to how we do it. It is not only important that we have the right kind of conversation, but that our conversation be based on “simplicity and godly sincerity.” In other words, our conversation should be genuine and never extravagant. People behave for different reasons. Sometimes those reasons are godly, yet at other times they reflect ungodliness. Anyone can feign a good conversation for a short period; however, only with the Lord's help can one's motives consistently match his actions. Paul not only sought to have his conversation right before the Lord, but also desired a genuine change of heart to bring forth the proper conversation.
Modern usage of the word conversation generally limits the definition to two people involved in a dialog. However, the Bible frequently uses the word conversation in a different sense. In fact, our passage reveals that a conversation can occur without words. Several other verses confirm connecting works to a man’s conversation (James 3:13; 1 Peter 2:12). The Bible’s use of conversation can involve something that others can observe (1 Peter 2:12; 1 Peter 3:2) and consider (Hebrews 13:7). Obviously, a man’s conversation is more complex than a simple discussion held between two or more persons. Scripturally speaking, our conversation reveals how we live our lives in front of others. Though this world would apply conversation only to what we say, God never intended for its usage to be limited to that single aspect.
A careful study of our text helps to eliminate the controversy concerning confession. We have already seen that the Bible teaches that confession of sins is to be made only to God. Yet, our passage tells us to confess one to another. Yet, the Bible stipulates that the confession involves one's faults. The difference between sins and faults is quite simple. A fault is not a sin, but rather an area of weakness that could lead to sin. We do not profit from confessing our sins to each other or even to “religious leaders.” However, the Bible reveals the benefits derived from confessing that we covet the prayers of others to help overcome our areas of weakness. Perhaps, these brothers and sisters in Christ will fervently pray and even lend support and advice. This is why it is important to confess our sincere desire for their prayers. Unfortunately, misapplication of this passage to bodily healing has caused confusion. The context involves healing in areas of spiritual weaknesses, not simply a need for the body to be healed.
A basic definition of communication involves making things common. When we speak to others, we express what is in our minds and hearts making those thoughts common with others. The Bible warns the believer in Ephesians 4:29 to “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” The words that come out of our mouths should edify or build up others, not demean and degrade them. They should be strengthened by what we say. Keep in mind that corrupt communications weaken the believer (1 Corinthians 15:33). This is why Christians are instructed to put off all “filthy communication” (Colossians 3:8).
Our verbal communications involve the words that spring forth from our mouths. No doubt, the Lord considers these communications important and we should too. In today’s passage, the Lord gave some specific insights concerning His expectations of our communication. First, He wants our communication to be short and to the point – “let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay” (Matthew 5:37; see also Proverbs 10:19; Ecclesiastes 5:3, 7). Second, our word should be validated without the necessity of certifying it with vows, oaths, and swearing. In the context of the passage, the Lord Jesus forbade swearing “by heaven” (Matthew 5:34), “by the earth” (Matthew 5:35), or “by thy head” (Matthew 5:36). When we swear by these things, we put ourselves in danger of condemnation (James 5:12). Let your nay be nay and your yea be yea!
The Bible says that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34). This means that the words proceeding out of our mouths originate in our hearts. When we speak bitter words, it is because there is bitterness within our hearts. David likened bitter words to arrows that pierce the flesh (Psalm 64:3). Our words ought to be “seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6); instead, we often allow our words to pierce through others. We tear people down rather than building them up. Why is this? Because we have a root of bitterness growing inside that finds its way from our hearts into and out of our mouths. Those who demean others generally do so because they are bitter. Attempts to justify this behaviour are fruitless because the Lord knows the root of the problem stems from our heart.
The believer is to allow no place for bitterness within his life. The book of Ephesians directly associates bitterness with the sins of wrath, anger, clamour, evil speaking, and malice. Each of these sins grieves the Spirit of God and ought to grieve the believer. As such, Christians are admonished to put away all bitterness. As bitterness shows itself in the depths of our hearts, we ought to immediately seek the Lord and plead for His help in removing it by its root. In a similar passage (Colossians 3:8), we are admonished to “put off” many of these other sins mentioned. Always keep in mind that bitterness does not edify the believer or those around him, nor does it glorify the Lord. Simply choose to obey God by putting away and putting off bitterness.
If you bite and chew your food enough times it will break down into small pieces and disappear into your stomach. In our passage, the apostle Paul informs us that our relationships with others bear the same truth. If we bite and devour one another, we will eventually consume each other. Many believers have quit attending the house of God and given up on serving the Lord because Christians have allowed their words to devour and consume. Just as food can only withstand so many bites before it is fully consumed, other believers can only take so much backbiting before weakened beyond their willingness to withstand. As the people of God, we are responsible for strengthening each other and surely will answer to God for any backbiting.
The apostle Paul was troubled greatly by the behaviour of the Corinthian believers. Due to their carnality, he could not speak to them as he would mature believers (1 Corinthians 3:1). Not only was Paul troubled by their actions during his absence, but also feared their condition when they would again meet face-to-face. He warned the believers that he would not be pleased if he found them guilty of such sins. Among the other shortcomings, Paul expressly mentioned their backbiting ways. The hope was that the Corinthian believers would repent of these grievous sins and simply do right. These admonitions should make believers reflect on the fact that the Lord Jesus could also come at any moment. How would He find us? Would we too be guilty of “debates, envyings, wraths, strifes, backbitings, whisperings, swellings,” and “tumults”?
The words that so flippantly slip from our tongues are often used by the Devil as weapons to wound others. When we think of biting something, we think of using our teeth; yet backbiting employs the tongue. Backbiting is the act of saying something disparaging about someone without regard to the harm caused to that person. Today’s passage demonstrates that the Lord considers backbiting a detestable act; so much so, that David said the backbiter would not abide in the Lord’s tabernacle. According to James chapter 3, the tongue kindles a great fire (James 3:5) and is a world of iniquity (James 3:6). The Bible proves that the quaint phrase used as a child, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is both untrue and unscriptural. Instead, the tongue is “full of deadly poison” (James 3:8). Backbiting wounds its victims – wounds which sometimes fester for years under the surface!
