Why should we forgive others? At first glance, we might think we should do so out of the goodness of our heart. Yet, there must be a deeper and more foundational reason for our forgiveness. Fundamentally, our forgiveness should be centered upon the Lord and His forgiveness toward us. Read Ephesians 4:32 above again. What should motivate our complete forgiveness of others? Is it not because we have been completely forgiven by the Lord? Look closely and you will see that God forgave us “for Christ’s sake.” If God forgave you for the sake of His Son, should this not also be the basis of our forgiveness of others? John confirmed this foundational truth of God’s forgiveness in his first epistle when he said, “. . . your sins are forgiven you for his name’s sake” (1 John 2:12). When we forgive others, we do so “for Christ’s sake.” Forgiving others because you have been forgiven illustrates God's mercy to others.
Some Bible teachers have erroneously suggested that anger is a sin. But God actually commands His people to be angry, yet further instructs them not to allow that anger to push them to respond sinfully (Ephesians 4:26). If a man can be angry without sinning, then anger is not a sin. In fact, anger used in a righteous manner can accomplish many things for the Lord. One of the benefits of anger is found in today’s passage. A good, healthy, angry countenance can serve as the best remedy to keep people from backbiting others while in your presence. The reason people backbite others is because they have an audience for their vitriol. If we would express our displeasure, the backbiting would cease. Try it out! The backbiting tongue will cease the moment you respond with an angry countenance.
If you bite and chew your food enough times it will break down into small pieces and disappear into your stomach. In our passage, the apostle Paul informs us that our relationships with others bear the same truth. If we bite and devour one another, we will eventually consume each other. Many believers have quit attending the house of God and given up on serving the Lord because Christians have allowed their words to devour and consume. Just as food can only withstand so many bites before it is fully consumed, other believers can only take so much backbiting before weakened beyond their willingness to withstand. As the people of God, we are responsible for strengthening each other and surely will answer to God for any backbiting.
The study of why men ought to forgive others may seem obvious, but it is actually quite complex without some thorough Bible study. On several occasions, the Lord told His disciples that they needed to forgive in order to be forgiven (Matthew 6:14-15; Matthew 18:34-35; Mark 11:25-26; Luke 6:37). As a result of these statements, many Christians live in fear that they will not receive God’s forgiveness unless and until they have forgiven all those who have wronged them. Two things need to be understood contextually: (1) these commandments from the Gospels were given prior to Christ's sacrificial death upon the cross and (2) He was speaking specifically to His Jewish people. Diligent Bible study always involves asking to whom God is speaking in any particular text. Epistles written specifically to and for the church following Christ's sacrifice reveal that those who are saved are already forgiven on the basis of Christ's payment on the cross. Today, men do not forgive to be forgiven; they should forgive others because they have already been forgiven (Colossians 3:13).
Everyone should and must learn how and when to forgive others. However, forgiveness has some inherent limitations. True forgiveness of sins comes only from Almighty God. People may and should forgive others for things in which they have been wronged, but only God has the capacity to forgive transgressions against Himself and His word. Once an individual has trusted Christ as Saviour, he has been forgiven of all trespasses and the shed blood of Christ serves as the sole basis for that forgiveness (Ephesians 1:7; Colossians 1:14). Though it is important to seek forgiveness from others whom you may have wronged, everyone must still go directly to the Lord to seek the forgiveness for sins. The forgiveness offered by others cancels the conflict amongst and between them; however, the conflict caused by sin between God and man may still remain even after reconciliation has taken place between individuals.
