Why should we forgive others? At first glance, we might think we should do so out of the goodness of our heart. Yet, there must be a deeper and more foundational reason for our forgiveness. Fundamentally, our forgiveness should be centered upon the Lord and His forgiveness toward us. Read Ephesians 4:32 above again. What should motivate our complete forgiveness of others? Is it not because we have been completely forgiven by the Lord? Look closely and you will see that God forgave us “for Christ’s sake.” If God forgave you for the sake of His Son, should this not also be the basis of our forgiveness of others? John confirmed this foundational truth of God’s forgiveness in his first epistle when he said, “. . . your sins are forgiven you for his name’s sake” (1 John 2:12). When we forgive others, we do so “for Christ’s sake.” Forgiving others because you have been forgiven illustrates God's mercy to others.
God is as equally concerned with what we do as to how we do it. It is not only important that we have the right kind of conversation, but that our conversation be based on “simplicity and godly sincerity.” In other words, our conversation should be genuine and never extravagant. People behave for different reasons. Sometimes those reasons are godly, yet at other times they reflect ungodliness. Anyone can feign a good conversation for a short period; however, only with the Lord's help can one's motives consistently match his actions. Paul not only sought to have his conversation right before the Lord, but also desired a genuine change of heart to bring forth the proper conversation.
The Bible teaches us that “if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Following salvation, a man's life should display visible changes as he seeks to put off his former conversation. According to scripture, that former conversation fulfilled “the desires of the flesh and of the mind” (Ephesians 2:3). By the grace of God, change is possible because every believer has been redeemed from his “vain conversation” (1 Peter 1:18). The apostle Paul is a great example. Before meeting the Lord on the road to Damascus, Paul's conversation or lifestyle involved mercilessly persecuting the church (Galatians 1:13). In his new life with Christ, he immediately began preaching the very faith he once destroyed (Galatians 1:23). When a person truly places his faith for salvation in the finished work of Christ, his conversation will change accordingly.
The study of why men ought to forgive others may seem obvious, but it is actually quite complex without some thorough Bible study. On several occasions, the Lord told His disciples that they needed to forgive in order to be forgiven (Matthew 6:14-15; Matthew 18:34-35; Mark 11:25-26; Luke 6:37). As a result of these statements, many Christians live in fear that they will not receive God’s forgiveness unless and until they have forgiven all those who have wronged them. Two things need to be understood contextually: (1) these commandments from the Gospels were given prior to Christ's sacrificial death upon the cross and (2) He was speaking specifically to His Jewish people. Diligent Bible study always involves asking to whom God is speaking in any particular text. Epistles written specifically to and for the church following Christ's sacrifice reveal that those who are saved are already forgiven on the basis of Christ's payment on the cross. Today, men do not forgive to be forgiven; they should forgive others because they have already been forgiven (Colossians 3:13).
Everyone should and must learn how and when to forgive others. However, forgiveness has some inherent limitations. True forgiveness of sins comes only from Almighty God. People may and should forgive others for things in which they have been wronged, but only God has the capacity to forgive transgressions against Himself and His word. Once an individual has trusted Christ as Saviour, he has been forgiven of all trespasses and the shed blood of Christ serves as the sole basis for that forgiveness (Ephesians 1:7; Colossians 1:14). Though it is important to seek forgiveness from others whom you may have wronged, everyone must still go directly to the Lord to seek the forgiveness for sins. The forgiveness offered by others cancels the conflict amongst and between them; however, the conflict caused by sin between God and man may still remain even after reconciliation has taken place between individuals.
