The Bible has much to say concerning the dangers of improper family relationships. “There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother” (Proverbs 30:11). “The son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother” (Micah 7:6), “the eye . . . mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother” (Proverbs 30:17). Yet, the first commandment with promise was to “honour thy father and mother” (Ephesians 6:1-2). This honour can be demonstrated by hearkening to (Proverbs 23:22) and obeying one’s parents (Colossians 3:20). As parents seek the Lord’s direction, God will lead them as to how to lead their individual homes (Ezra 8:21). The child’s responsibility is directed toward submitting to and learning of the Lord by obeying the parents.
The Lord gave specific commandments to both the husband and the wife. The Lord, knowing that man’s foremost love was, by nature, himself, commanded the man to “love” his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Additionally, the Lord, knowing that a woman would not naturally desire to submit, commanded the wife to submit to her own husband, as unto the Lord. This does not suggest that she only goes along with her husband so long as she agrees with his decisions, neither does it mean that she can never offer input into the decision-making process. But, in the end, she follows her husband’s leading, trusting the Lord to bless her faithfulness.
The Bible shows us that even heathen kings know it is proper for a woman to honour her husband. Some might suggest that because these words were spoken by a heathen, the reader should discount them, but these truths are supported elsewhere in scripture. For instance, Ephesians 5:33 says that the wife is to reverence her husband. Sara honoured Abraham, even to the point of calling him lord (1 Peter 3:6). Even Abigail, who had a husband that was a man of Belial, honoured her husband when she kept David from ending Nabal’s life (1 Samuel 25:23-33). A woman who honours her husband honours the Lord. She does so because the Lord commands it, not because her husband necessarily deserves her honour.
A normal man naturally desires to protect what God has given to him. Jacob was not always the best example of godliness, but he had the right desire to protect his family from harm. The Bible reveals to us how he reacted when he could see his brother Esau approaching. Unsure of how this reunion might disintegrate into harm, Jacob divided his family with the most precious at the rear. As his family’s protector, Jacob led the caravan. If there was going to be trouble, he would have an opportunity to intervene offering his family an opportunity to flee for safety. According to Ephesians 5:25, a man’s protection should include a willingness to lay down his life for his wife. A godly man will always intercede between his home and the impending danger.
As the head of the home, the man bares the responsibility for the biblical training of every individual within his home. Yet, many homes today have no man in them. Regardless of society’s disintegration, there is never a time when the man ever relinquishes his accountability to God as the spiritual leader of his home. In today’s passage, we read of Abraham bearing his personal responsibility. According to God’s testimony, Abraham bore that responsibility well. The Lord testified that Abraham would command his children and household after him. Abraham’s family would keep the way of the LORD and would do justice and judgment. Unfortunately, the same cannot be expressed for far too many modern Christian homes. In fact, church pews are overflowing with faithful women while their men are absentee husbands expressing little to no interest in the things of God.
As the world seeks to further weaken any distinctions between men and women, it becomes even more important to stand firm upon God’s principles. God has a defined order in the home and the worldly attitudes do not alter God’s precepts. Someone has to be the leader of each home and bear the responsibility. According to 1 Corinthians 11:3, the proper order is a woman submitted to a man, who is submitted to Christ, who is submitted to the heavenly Father. Christ’s submission to the Father in no way suggested inferiority to the Father, nor does a submissive wife indicate any type of inferiority to her husband. In fact, it takes a stronger woman to follow God’s plan of submission. A godly home follows the scripture even when it contradicts the generally accepted teachings of the day.
Loyalty may seem to go unobserved but eventually yields unexpected and momentous dividends. The story of Esther’s uncle uniquely exemplifies this point. Mordecai sat in the king’s gate in Shushan. One day, while he sat in the gate, he overheard two men plotting to kill the king. When Mordecai heard the news, he immediately repeated these words to Queen Esther, thus foiling the plot. The two men were tried, found guilty, and ultimately executed. At first, Mordecai’s loyalty seemed to remain unnoticed, but one night the king was troubled and could not sleep. His servants, by divine providence, read the record of Mordecai’s loyalty to him (Esther 6:1-3). Soon thereafter, Mordecai’s loyalty was rewarded (Esther 6:4-11). His loyalty most likely saved his life and spared the lives of countless Jews (see Esther chapter 7).
Man’s loyalty must be first and foremost directed toward the Lord; however, an aspect of one’s loyalty to the Lord also involves a certain loyalty toward man. At times, these loyalties might conflict. During those instances, each person should heed the words of Simon Peter when he admonished, “We ought to obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29). When one’s loyalty to God does not conflict with any loyalty toward man, the Lord admonishes men to be loyal toward one another. When Moses placed his honour upon Joshua, he did so in order to encourage obedience, respect, and loyalty on the part of the people of God. In similar fashion, the Lord has crowned man with glory and honour (Psalm 8:5). As such, the Lord has naturally put within man a desire to be loyal toward the Lord and others.
The Bible mentions two types of wisdom: worldly wisdom (1 Corinthians 3:19) and godly wisdom (James 1:5). These distinct wisdoms oppose each other in several aspects including their relationship to hypocrisy. Man claims to live wisely and yet encourages something that counteracts true wisdom—hypocrisy. This is because God’s wisdom operates only when hypocrisy is absent. At first, this might seem quite difficult to achieve, yet righteousness is never accomplished through sinful means. The only way to demonstrate true wisdom is to do so with purity and mercy void of partiality and hypocrisy.
When one side defeats another in battle, to the victor goes the spoils. This means that the victor enters the camp of the defeated and takes its valuable possessions (including women, children, material goods, etc.). With this truth in mind, the apostle Paul warned the believers at Colosse to be on guard, knowing that men would seek to spoil them through philosophy and vain deceit. In other words, accepting the philosophies of men, or false doctrines, is likened to losing a battle and allowing the enemy to rob the believer of his most valuable possessions. It is important to understand that although a believer can never lose his salvation, he can be robbed of his stability, growth, peace, and joy.
