Scripture plainly reveals that God repeatedly calls for His people to separate from the world. This separation extends to every aspect of life, especially including the marriage bond. Why? Because God knows the very real danger that unbelievers pose to believers by drawing them away from Him (Deuteronomy 7:3-4; Judges 3:6-7; 1 Kings 11:2). This is why God specifically instructed His people in both the Old and New Testament to marry among themselves (Jew with Jew and Christian with Christian). The nation of Israel was forbidden to yoke up with the surrounding nations because Israel would adopt heathen practices and the worship of false gods (Exodus 34:15-16). Though God’s commands for the New Testament believer are often different from His plan for the Jew, in this aspect they remain constant and unchangeable.
The godly choice of whom to marry likely will never again be as obvious as it was for Adam and Eve. Yet, the wrong choice can and will usually bring disastrous outcomes along with lifelong consequences. Wise counsel to avoid pitfalls related to bad choices is vitally important! Samson’s choice was ultimately of the Lord, but not because it was wise. His parents knew that his decision was fleshly and attempted to redirect him. Esau rebelliously sought a wife that would never meet his parents’ approval (Genesis 28:6-9). Throughout the Old Testament, parents were involved in the process of choosing the right spouse for their children. It may not be a direct command from God, but it remains a wise principle to follow. Parents are not always right, but the Lord is pleased to use them in this decision-making process.
Men who think they need a simplified version of the Bible to assist in understanding misunderstand God's grace found throughout scripture. For instance, the Lord graciously provides associated words to help understand less familiar words. Even if we did not know what the word counsel meant, the Bible provides hints like the one found in Judges 20:7. Judges connects the word counsel with the word advice. Psalms tells us that counsel is gained when people consult together (Psalm 83:3). A counseller is one who can give an answer when asked a question (Isaiah 41:28). Additionally, Proverbs 20:5 points to counsel as a well of deep water that the wise seek to draw out of a man. Anytime we go to someone to seek his advice or input in a matter, we are seeking his counsel. It is important to note that counsel can be wise and righteous, or it can be ungodly. For this reason, the word of God must be the spiritual gauge.
