Far too many of today's pundits sanction giving others whatever they want in an attempt to display true love. Parents have become increasingly trapped in this dilemma being convinced that they fail their children unless they give them every new gadget. The husbands thought to love the most are the ones who shower their wives with the most, the best, and do so frequently. The average person may find these scenarios reasonable, but they remain completely contrary to the word of God. In fact, the Bible expresses just the opposite. Today's passage reveals that a righteous man could actually smite someone with his words in kindness. A righteous man will always offer a rebuke (or correction) to those heading in the wrong direction. The intention of such a rebuke is to set the person back on the right track; true biblical kindness at work. Proverbs extols the virtues of those wounds gained when offered in the spirit of kindness and friendship (Proverbs 27:6). Kindness is never demonstrated by simply telling others what they want to hear but often confirmed through open rebuke (Proverbs 27:5).
Many people have so-called friends, but oftentimes these friendships are built upon weak support structures. Yet, testing the true depths of one's friendships can be quite challenging. The previous lesson pointed to the ease of making friends by showing yourself friendly. Yet, too many people focus on using material means to gain friendships. Money can buy friends but there remains that doubt concerning the true foundation of those relationships. The Bible teaches that “wealth maketh many friends” (Proverbs 19:4). This truth is further emphasized in Proverbs 14:20 where the Bible says, “the rich hath many friends.” This fact remains ever more prevalent as the days go on. Those who are rich will have many “friends,” while those who are poor have far fewer close associations. Unfortunately, “Every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts” (Proverbs 19:6). As long as there is money or gifts to be given, people will have “friends”; but as soon as the money runs out, the “friends” will be gone too. True friendships, however, may be gained by showing yourself friendly and will be cultivated through righteousness.
Very few people understand the simplicity involved in cultivating true friendships. In fact, far too many people emphasize the wrong factors when considering how to make friends. They look at one's appearance or charisma and attribute it as the key to making friends. Yet, the Bible points out a simple process as the key for gaining true friends. The one who makes friends simply must first “shew himself friendly.” Unapproachable people remain lonely and tend to miss out on much of what life has to offer. Those who struggle making friends should examine themselves to see whether or not they truly display themselves as friendly or more standoffish. People generally refuse to put forth the extra effort to get to know those who come across unwelcoming. People want to make friends with those who are approachable and there is no better way to make yourself approachable than to show yourself friendly. If a man does not appear to be friendly, others will pass him in their quest to cultivate lasting relationships.
Unfortunately, true lasting friendships seem increasingly difficult to cultivate and nurture in today's fast paced world. Yet, the interactions associated to true friendships remain important and healthy. There are many traits that define true friendships. Today's passage points out one of the primary features that constitute a true friend: “A friend loveth at all times.” This love is not to be confused with being dishonest in hopes of protecting the feelings of a friend. In fact, a true friend will offer a needed rebuke. This is why the Bible says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). True friends never allow current circumstances to determine the level of commitment to a relationship. A true friend will remain faithful when all others have betrayed or departed. This test of friendship has been the proving ground for many friends throughout the history of mankind. One need look no further than the prodigal son for evidence of such (Luke 15:11-24).
Some people seem unable to function without daily interaction with friends. Yet, others think such attachments overbearing and far too demanding. Unfortunately, the world frequently misconstrues what constitutes true friendship. Additionally, far too many times, friends abuse this important relationship. Social media sites even refer to one's mere acquaintances as “friends.” No wonder the world remains so confused concerning the essence of true biblical friendship. Regardless of one’s perspective on these matters, the Bible points out that there is One friend that man cannot do without and He is “a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). This could simply refer to people who have friends more loyal than those in one's own family, but likely references the Lord. His level of commitment causes Him to be a friend to those deemed unlovable by the world. Simply consider what the Bible says about His sacrifice. Christ died on the cross for His enemies (Romans 5:10) so that they could become His friends (John 15:13-15). Truly, He is that “friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
God knows everything about everything, yet Christians sometimes act as though He has some debilitating limitations. Once again, the Bible shines the light of truth upon the matter. It reveals that He is great, “and of great power: his understanding is infinite” (Psalm 147:5). In fact, His eyes “are in every place, beholding the evil and the good” (Proverbs 15:3). In other words, there is nothing that escapes the knowledge and attention of God. This includes the good and the bad! The Son of God proclaimed to the church at Thyatira that He knew their works, charity, service, faith, and patience. He too knows about the level of a man’s faith! He knows the content, strength, and reality of that faith. A man can and will fool others and frequently even deceives himself (Jeremiah 17:9), but he has no capacity to mislead God. The Lord knows those who believe and accept His word as the perfect word of God and He is not unrighteous to forget (Hebrews 6:10).
Incorporating equity within one’s judgment processes remains crucial at every level, whether concerning a nation, a community, a church, or a home. The book of Micah describes what happens when leaders pervert equity. Micah 3:11 declares that they “judge for reward,” “teach for hire,” and “divine for money.” One might assume this perversion of equity would immediately send a nation into destruction; but Micah 3:10 points out that they “build up Zion with blood.” No matter how successful and prosperous an individual or group may seem, in the end, the Lord will bring judgment. In this case, Zion shall “be plowed as a field, and Jerusalem shall become heaps” (Micah 3:12). When a nation, community, church, or family perverts equity, God brings judgment when He deems the time appropriate. Proverbs 14:34 clearly points out that “Righteousness exalteth a nation: but sin is a reproach to any people.” Those who judge success through worldly means rather than by using biblical standards will fail to see God’s judgment coming until it becomes too late.
The last few lessons revealed how equity should always be linked to judgment. The passage today reiterates this truth, suggesting that righteousness, judgment, and equity are not only closely associated, but inseparable. Verse 8 reveals that it is the Lord who “keepeth the paths of judgment.” Verse 9 points out that righteousness, judgment, and equity are said to be the “good” paths. These good paths stand in stark contrast to those paths that seem right to the world, but in the end are “the ways of death” (Proverbs 14:12; Proverbs 16:25).The saint of God has a clear choice. He can do things his own way resulting in an untimely death, or he can follow after God’s plan and find that God “preserveth the way of his saints.” The choice is simple: choose God’s good path and not the well trodden path travelled by the world. God’s plan or path is for a man to judge with righteousness and equity.
The Bible links together wisdom, knowledge, and discretion to help the Bible student comprehend God’s truths. Today’s passage provides insight into the composition of this connection. When wisdom enters the heart and knowledge is pleasant to the soul, then discretion preserves the believer. Preserve can mean to protect from harm as the context of this passage shows. Those who use discretion are protected from being ensnared by those who have little regard for God or the things of God. Verse 12 indicates that discretion protects the individual from the way of evil men. Verse 16 further reveals how discretion delivers from the strange woman. Discretion implements wisdom and knowledge to keep the believer from unnecessary difficulties that trouble those who fail to abide by biblical principles.
Most women who receive gold and jewelry consider them treasured gifts. In fact, gold and some jewels increase in value with some being of inestimable value. These treasures have many uses whereby their owners can benefit. Yet, imagine the reaction when a jewel of gold is mounted in a swine’s snout rather than in an appropriate decorative setting. No matter the perceived value of the item, its appeal significantly decreases. The Bible likens this scenario to a fair (beautiful) woman who is void of discretion. The world values outward beauty more than inward beauty though the Bible cautions against this. Today’s passage equates a beautiful woman without discretion to a jewel of gold in a pig’s snout. Discretion is of such importance that God instructed the aged women to teach the younger women to be discreet in Titus 2:5. The problem began where the Bible began – with a story about a woman in the garden in Eden who partook of the fruit based on what she saw and felt. All of God’s people, including ladies, should make their decisions with discretion.
