Interestingly, the Lord actually commands His people to be angry! This may surprise or concern some believers who fail to study the entirety of scripture within context, but the Lord admonished believers at Ephesus to be angry. No doubt this was a call for a righteous anger with a cause, but nonetheless it was a call for anger. Why? The Bible points out that a godly anger can put a stop to sin. According to Proverbs 25:23, “The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.” This directly correlates to the context of Ephesians 4:26 as the surrounding passages speak of ceasing from sin. Simultaneous to the Lord admonishing believers to be angry, He also cautioned them not to let their righteous anger turn into sin.
In an environment where strife prevails, an angry man thrives. The Bibles points out that this type of person looks for ways to stir up strife. Perhaps he asks questions to get opinions involving others to gauge any dissatisfaction with them. He then turns any small frustration into a larger problem. Perhaps he uses other methods, but the end goal remains the same; he wants to stir up strife. He does this not only in the lives of others, but in his own heart as well. Instead of focusing upon reasons to rejoice in the Lord, he looks for reasons to be frustrated. All the while, he is walking in the flesh and missing out on the fruit of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (Galatians 5:22-23).
The Bible says, “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous” (Proverbs 27:4). Yet, these two emotions generally adversely affect all who come into contact with them. The believer should not only abstain from ungodly anger within his own heart but also guard himself against making friends with those who are angry. This is why Solomon said, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” Generally, believers take on the traits of those with whom they spend the majority of their time. This is why it is imperative that believers spend much time with the Lord and avoid ungodly, close friendships.
Be sure to carefully read today’s verse. A basic definition of discretion refers to someone who seeks out knowledge concerning a conflict and then uses wisdom to arrive at the right decision. On the other hand, ungodly anger unwisely reacts without discretion. It is therefore logical that discretion defers anger. Any individual who thrives on anger often does so by neglecting knowledge and wisdom. He fails to patiently consider every perspective and detail before rushing to judgment fueling his fury. Discretion may delay a reaction, but when one does react using discretion, his reaction will be righteous and helpful for all involved even when his reaction might involve anger.
Anger is often viewed by others as a symbol of strength. From youth, men are taught that one’s strength and authority can be best conveyed through the use of anger. Yet, the Bible teaches that the manifestation of an ungodly anger exhibits a sign of weakness. Anger is a foolish practice (Proverbs 14:17) that resteth in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9). According to Proverbs 16:32, a man “that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” This is why the Bible admonishes believers to “be swift to hear, slow to speak,” and “slow to wrath” (James 1:19). This trait is so important that God included it as one of the requirements for those who would desire the office of a bishop (Titus 1:7).
It is difficult for new and sometimes older Christians to fully comprehend sin's effects. From God’s perspective, every facet of sin involves a vile act. However, from man’s viewpoint, though sin can be extremely harmful, the temporary pleasures (Hebrews 11:25) distract from sin's injurious nature. For instance, Proverbs 6:24 warns about the “evil woman.” We might think this to mean that we should stay away from women who say bad things, yet the evil woman does not always speak negatively. In fact, this woman is said to speak with flattery; she says nice things but with impure motives. This warning is so important that it was given on multiple occasions (Proverbs 2:16; Proverbs 6:24; Proverbs 7:5, 21). The warning here is given specifically about a strange woman (a woman other than the man’s wife), but it applies to men and women alike. We ought to always be on guard about those who flatter us with their words.
Nobody likes to spend time around those who act in a rude or insulting manner. Most people would rather spend people-time with those who focus on saying nice things. However, the truth is that one is just as spiritually dangerous to one's well-being as the other. This is why the Bible warns us to “meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.” Flattery is directly connected to deceit and covetousness; therefore, God intends for His warning to help Christians avoid people who say nice things deceitfully. These people intend to take advantage of their target. Far too many people have been mistreated and lied to by others whom they thought to be dear friends. It is best to avoid those with flattering lips.
Today's passage proves the Bible truth that our thoughts are not God’s thoughts, neither our ways His ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). God's thoughts are always unimaginably loftier than ours. Unlike God, our thoughts are bound by our limited knowledge. Contrary to the Lord’s, our knowledge is easily corrupted through various influences. This is why scripture reading and preaching often conflicts with our natural thought process. For instance, our natural mind considers rebuke something harmful, negatively affecting the person receiving it. We also naturally consider flattery as something beneficial and uplifting to the recipient. Yet, we have already seen how flattery can be harmful, but have you ever considered the superiority of a rebuke? The Bible says rebuke is better because of what it yields “afterwards.” In the long run, rebuke is far superior to flattery.
Biblical terminology is very important. For example, ignorance of Bible vocabulary has led people to believe that flattery is considerate if it makes others feel good. Yet, the picture presented by scripture is contrary to this line of thinking. Flattery harms both the giver and the recipient. According to scripture, “A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin” (Proverbs 26:28). While we have been led to believe flattery edifies, in reality, it destroys. This truth is confirmed in Proverbs 29:5 where the Bible says, “A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.” Even the flatterer is harmed by his flattery: “He that speaketh flattery to his friends, even the eyes of his children shall fail” (Job 17:5). Without a doubt, flattery harms all those involved.
