The Bible clearly teaches that no believer is sinless. As such, each believer experiences times when he is rebuked of the Lord. It is a natural part of the Christian life. At the same time, there will be circumstances which will bring about rebuke from other believers (Ecclesiastes 7:5). These are healthy elements of Christian growth. Yet, the goal of every believer should be one where he lives a life beyond rebuke. Paul’s desire for the Philippian believers was that they “may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation” (Philippians 2:15). He then admonished Timothy to keep God’s commandment “without spot” and “unrebukeable” (1 Timothy 6:14).
Though the Bible refers to the elder in various contexts, today’s passage refers to the elder as simply an older gentleman. The elder here is contrasted first with the younger men while the next verse contrasts it with the elder women. The issue at hand is one of respect. It is important to note that the scripture does not imply or teach that believers can never question the actions of an older man. However, it does indicate the method of this questioning. An elder is not to be rebuked but intreated “as a father.” To intreat a person is to plead with or earnestly ask them. Intreating reflects approaching him with respect which is the method by which the Lord demands an elder be approached.
The Lord never intended for a believer to consider it his duty in life to rebuke others. As the believer gains additional Bible knowledge, he begins to see the world in a far different light. He gains insights that often remain unavailable to those who ignore the truths of scripture. Sin becomes more noticeable and the individual becomes increasingly offended at the world’s corruption. His increased knowledge emboldens him to point out the errors of others. Though in and of itself there is nothing wrong with this, the Bible warns concerning the various responses when someone is rebuked. According to Proverbs 13:1, “a scorner heareth not rebuke.” In fact, a scorner rebuked will return shame and hatred (Proverbs 9:7-8). On the other hand, a believer will find great reward in rebuking the wise (Proverbs 9:8).
Far too few preachers and teachers have taken the time to consider the context of today’s passage. Paul admonished that a rebuke is sometimes unavoidable, but the context reveals that the individual receiving the rebuke is an elder (1 Timothy 5:17-19). It also appears that the rebuke only takes place under specific conditions. Paul informed Timothy that there are times a rebuke must be given in the presence of others. The purpose served to bring fear upon those who witnessed the rebuke so that they too would not repeat the errors of the elder receiving the rebuke. Though a publick rebuke is not a pleasant sight, Proverbs 27:5 says, “Open rebuke is better than secret love.”
The purpose of rebuking someone has been completely distorted in these days of emphasizing political correctness and personal self-esteem. The world now associates a scriptural rebuke with hatred, anger, and envy. In reality, a godly rebuke demonstrates a supreme act of love. The spiritual mindset helps all of this to make sense; whereas, the carnally minded will reject God’s perfect ways. When it is known that an individual is heading in a dangerous direction, hate remains silent; love cries “stop.” Many people under the guise of “secret love” have allowed friends and family to head off into the ways of the world thinking they were doing those people right. Yet, the Bible plainly says, “Open rebuke is better than secret love” (Proverbs 27:5). Once again, the carnal mind struggles to receive this truth, but godly rebukes are based upon love and result from an expression of that love.
When someone receives rebuke from another person, it is rarely easy to accept. The person receiving the rebuke may lash out in anger even when the rebuke is scripturally made with longsuffering. The Bible confirms this type of reaction when it says, “They hate him that rebuketh in the gate, and they abhor him that speaketh uprightly” (Amos 5:10). This type of reaction is not one of a wise man, nor is it from one who has taken the time to consider the godly rebuke’s content and intention. The Bible also says that afterwards the one who rebukes finds “more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue.” Ultimately, the Lord’s reaction is what matters and the scriptural practice of rebuking others within the authority of scripture pleases Him.
Many people have so-called friends, but oftentimes these friendships are built upon weak support structures. Yet, testing the true depths of one's friendships can be quite challenging. The previous lesson pointed to the ease of making friends by showing yourself friendly. Yet, too many people focus on using material means to gain friendships. Money can buy friends but there remains that doubt concerning the true foundation of those relationships. The Bible teaches that “wealth maketh many friends” (Proverbs 19:4). This truth is further emphasized in Proverbs 14:20 where the Bible says, “the rich hath many friends.” This fact remains ever more prevalent as the days go on. Those who are rich will have many “friends,” while those who are poor have far fewer close associations. Unfortunately, “Every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts” (Proverbs 19:6). As long as there is money or gifts to be given, people will have “friends”; but as soon as the money runs out, the “friends” will be gone too. True friendships, however, may be gained by showing yourself friendly and will be cultivated through righteousness.
Very few people understand the simplicity involved in cultivating true friendships. In fact, far too many people emphasize the wrong factors when considering how to make friends. They look at one's appearance or charisma and attribute it as the key to making friends. Yet, the Bible points out a simple process as the key for gaining true friends. The one who makes friends simply must first “shew himself friendly.” Unapproachable people remain lonely and tend to miss out on much of what life has to offer. Those who struggle making friends should examine themselves to see whether or not they truly display themselves as friendly or more standoffish. People generally refuse to put forth the extra effort to get to know those who come across unwelcoming. People want to make friends with those who are approachable and there is no better way to make yourself approachable than to show yourself friendly. If a man does not appear to be friendly, others will pass him in their quest to cultivate lasting relationships.
Unfortunately, true lasting friendships seem increasingly difficult to cultivate and nurture in today's fast paced world. Yet, the interactions associated to true friendships remain important and healthy. There are many traits that define true friendships. Today's passage points out one of the primary features that constitute a true friend: “A friend loveth at all times.” This love is not to be confused with being dishonest in hopes of protecting the feelings of a friend. In fact, a true friend will offer a needed rebuke. This is why the Bible says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). True friends never allow current circumstances to determine the level of commitment to a relationship. A true friend will remain faithful when all others have betrayed or departed. This test of friendship has been the proving ground for many friends throughout the history of mankind. One need look no further than the prodigal son for evidence of such (Luke 15:11-24).
Some people seem unable to function without daily interaction with friends. Yet, others think such attachments overbearing and far too demanding. Unfortunately, the world frequently misconstrues what constitutes true friendship. Additionally, far too many times, friends abuse this important relationship. Social media sites even refer to one's mere acquaintances as “friends.” No wonder the world remains so confused concerning the essence of true biblical friendship. Regardless of one’s perspective on these matters, the Bible points out that there is One friend that man cannot do without and He is “a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). This could simply refer to people who have friends more loyal than those in one's own family, but likely references the Lord. His level of commitment causes Him to be a friend to those deemed unlovable by the world. Simply consider what the Bible says about His sacrifice. Christ died on the cross for His enemies (Romans 5:10) so that they could become His friends (John 15:13-15). Truly, He is that “friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
