Interestingly, the Lord actually commands His people to be angry! This may surprise or concern some believers who fail to study the entirety of scripture within context, but the Lord admonished believers at Ephesus to be angry. No doubt this was a call for a righteous anger with a cause, but nonetheless it was a call for anger. Why? The Bible points out that a godly anger can put a stop to sin. According to Proverbs 25:23, “The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.” This directly correlates to the context of Ephesians 4:26 as the surrounding passages speak of ceasing from sin. Simultaneous to the Lord admonishing believers to be angry, He also cautioned them not to let their righteous anger turn into sin.
In an environment where strife prevails, an angry man thrives. The Bibles points out that this type of person looks for ways to stir up strife. Perhaps he asks questions to get opinions involving others to gauge any dissatisfaction with them. He then turns any small frustration into a larger problem. Perhaps he uses other methods, but the end goal remains the same; he wants to stir up strife. He does this not only in the lives of others, but in his own heart as well. Instead of focusing upon reasons to rejoice in the Lord, he looks for reasons to be frustrated. All the while, he is walking in the flesh and missing out on the fruit of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (Galatians 5:22-23).
The Bible says, “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous” (Proverbs 27:4). Yet, these two emotions generally adversely affect all who come into contact with them. The believer should not only abstain from ungodly anger within his own heart but also guard himself against making friends with those who are angry. This is why Solomon said, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” Generally, believers take on the traits of those with whom they spend the majority of their time. This is why it is imperative that believers spend much time with the Lord and avoid ungodly, close friendships.
Be sure to carefully read today’s verse. A basic definition of discretion refers to someone who seeks out knowledge concerning a conflict and then uses wisdom to arrive at the right decision. On the other hand, ungodly anger unwisely reacts without discretion. It is therefore logical that discretion defers anger. Any individual who thrives on anger often does so by neglecting knowledge and wisdom. He fails to patiently consider every perspective and detail before rushing to judgment fueling his fury. Discretion may delay a reaction, but when one does react using discretion, his reaction will be righteous and helpful for all involved even when his reaction might involve anger.
Anger is often viewed by others as a symbol of strength. From youth, men are taught that one’s strength and authority can be best conveyed through the use of anger. Yet, the Bible teaches that the manifestation of an ungodly anger exhibits a sign of weakness. Anger is a foolish practice (Proverbs 14:17) that resteth in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9). According to Proverbs 16:32, a man “that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” This is why the Bible admonishes believers to “be swift to hear, slow to speak,” and “slow to wrath” (James 1:19). This trait is so important that God included it as one of the requirements for those who would desire the office of a bishop (Titus 1:7).
Many people have so-called friends, but oftentimes these friendships are built upon weak support structures. Yet, testing the true depths of one's friendships can be quite challenging. The previous lesson pointed to the ease of making friends by showing yourself friendly. Yet, too many people focus on using material means to gain friendships. Money can buy friends but there remains that doubt concerning the true foundation of those relationships. The Bible teaches that “wealth maketh many friends” (Proverbs 19:4). This truth is further emphasized in Proverbs 14:20 where the Bible says, “the rich hath many friends.” This fact remains ever more prevalent as the days go on. Those who are rich will have many “friends,” while those who are poor have far fewer close associations. Unfortunately, “Every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts” (Proverbs 19:6). As long as there is money or gifts to be given, people will have “friends”; but as soon as the money runs out, the “friends” will be gone too. True friendships, however, may be gained by showing yourself friendly and will be cultivated through righteousness.
Very few people understand the simplicity involved in cultivating true friendships. In fact, far too many people emphasize the wrong factors when considering how to make friends. They look at one's appearance or charisma and attribute it as the key to making friends. Yet, the Bible points out a simple process as the key for gaining true friends. The one who makes friends simply must first “shew himself friendly.” Unapproachable people remain lonely and tend to miss out on much of what life has to offer. Those who struggle making friends should examine themselves to see whether or not they truly display themselves as friendly or more standoffish. People generally refuse to put forth the extra effort to get to know those who come across unwelcoming. People want to make friends with those who are approachable and there is no better way to make yourself approachable than to show yourself friendly. If a man does not appear to be friendly, others will pass him in their quest to cultivate lasting relationships.
Unfortunately, true lasting friendships seem increasingly difficult to cultivate and nurture in today's fast paced world. Yet, the interactions associated to true friendships remain important and healthy. There are many traits that define true friendships. Today's passage points out one of the primary features that constitute a true friend: “A friend loveth at all times.” This love is not to be confused with being dishonest in hopes of protecting the feelings of a friend. In fact, a true friend will offer a needed rebuke. This is why the Bible says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). True friends never allow current circumstances to determine the level of commitment to a relationship. A true friend will remain faithful when all others have betrayed or departed. This test of friendship has been the proving ground for many friends throughout the history of mankind. One need look no further than the prodigal son for evidence of such (Luke 15:11-24).
Some people seem unable to function without daily interaction with friends. Yet, others think such attachments overbearing and far too demanding. Unfortunately, the world frequently misconstrues what constitutes true friendship. Additionally, far too many times, friends abuse this important relationship. Social media sites even refer to one's mere acquaintances as “friends.” No wonder the world remains so confused concerning the essence of true biblical friendship. Regardless of one’s perspective on these matters, the Bible points out that there is One friend that man cannot do without and He is “a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). This could simply refer to people who have friends more loyal than those in one's own family, but likely references the Lord. His level of commitment causes Him to be a friend to those deemed unlovable by the world. Simply consider what the Bible says about His sacrifice. Christ died on the cross for His enemies (Romans 5:10) so that they could become His friends (John 15:13-15). Truly, He is that “friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
