Interestingly, the Lord actually commands His people to be angry! This may surprise or concern some believers who fail to study the entirety of scripture within context, but the Lord admonished believers at Ephesus to be angry. No doubt this was a call for a righteous anger with a cause, but nonetheless it was a call for anger. Why? The Bible points out that a godly anger can put a stop to sin. According to Proverbs 25:23, “The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.” This directly correlates to the context of Ephesians 4:26 as the surrounding passages speak of ceasing from sin. Simultaneous to the Lord admonishing believers to be angry, He also cautioned them not to let their righteous anger turn into sin.
In an environment where strife prevails, an angry man thrives. The Bibles points out that this type of person looks for ways to stir up strife. Perhaps he asks questions to get opinions involving others to gauge any dissatisfaction with them. He then turns any small frustration into a larger problem. Perhaps he uses other methods, but the end goal remains the same; he wants to stir up strife. He does this not only in the lives of others, but in his own heart as well. Instead of focusing upon reasons to rejoice in the Lord, he looks for reasons to be frustrated. All the while, he is walking in the flesh and missing out on the fruit of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (Galatians 5:22-23).
The Bible says, “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous” (Proverbs 27:4). Yet, these two emotions generally adversely affect all who come into contact with them. The believer should not only abstain from ungodly anger within his own heart but also guard himself against making friends with those who are angry. This is why Solomon said, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” Generally, believers take on the traits of those with whom they spend the majority of their time. This is why it is imperative that believers spend much time with the Lord and avoid ungodly, close friendships.
Be sure to carefully read today’s verse. A basic definition of discretion refers to someone who seeks out knowledge concerning a conflict and then uses wisdom to arrive at the right decision. On the other hand, ungodly anger unwisely reacts without discretion. It is therefore logical that discretion defers anger. Any individual who thrives on anger often does so by neglecting knowledge and wisdom. He fails to patiently consider every perspective and detail before rushing to judgment fueling his fury. Discretion may delay a reaction, but when one does react using discretion, his reaction will be righteous and helpful for all involved even when his reaction might involve anger.
Anger is often viewed by others as a symbol of strength. From youth, men are taught that one’s strength and authority can be best conveyed through the use of anger. Yet, the Bible teaches that the manifestation of an ungodly anger exhibits a sign of weakness. Anger is a foolish practice (Proverbs 14:17) that resteth in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9). According to Proverbs 16:32, a man “that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” This is why the Bible admonishes believers to “be swift to hear, slow to speak,” and “slow to wrath” (James 1:19). This trait is so important that God included it as one of the requirements for those who would desire the office of a bishop (Titus 1:7).
Proverbs 31 reveals the attributes of a virtuous woman (Proverbs 31:10). Though a virtuous woman possesses many wonderful traits, perhaps her greatest strength lies in the manner in which she speaks—with wisdom. This God-given wisdom enables her to refrain her lips from foolishness, instead choosing to edify others with her speech. Many people offer others advice and even wisdom, but this woman is said to speak with the “law of kindness” in her tongue. Not only does she speak wisely, but she presents this wisdom with the right spirit--the spirit of kindness. Apparently, when she speaks wisely, her words encourage others to listen and heed what she says. Her hearers want to receive her words and put them into practice. Why? Because she presents her words with this “law of kindness” much like those today who are “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).
Most sincere people, seeking opportunities to show kindness toward others, will generally have more opportunities than means. In fact, some instances will arise when helping others remains practically impossible. This is especially true when a financial need arises beyond the person's capacity to help. Does this mean kindness does not exist or that the individual lacks genuineness? No! Today's passage teaches a profound principle, “the desire of a man is his kindness.” Kindness is exemplified where there is a present desire to be kind toward others even though the individual may be without means to fulfil his desire to help. The passage ends by stating that “a poor man is better than a liar.” A man who desires to help but cannot do so is better than those who lie or deceive others about their true heart's intent to show kindness. Thankfully, God does not simply look at the outward act but can always see the heart's true desire, purpose, and motive!
Far too many of today's pundits sanction giving others whatever they want in an attempt to display true love. Parents have become increasingly trapped in this dilemma being convinced that they fail their children unless they give them every new gadget. The husbands thought to love the most are the ones who shower their wives with the most, the best, and do so frequently. The average person may find these scenarios reasonable, but they remain completely contrary to the word of God. In fact, the Bible expresses just the opposite. Today's passage reveals that a righteous man could actually smite someone with his words in kindness. A righteous man will always offer a rebuke (or correction) to those heading in the wrong direction. The intention of such a rebuke is to set the person back on the right track; true biblical kindness at work. Proverbs extols the virtues of those wounds gained when offered in the spirit of kindness and friendship (Proverbs 27:6). Kindness is never demonstrated by simply telling others what they want to hear but often confirmed through open rebuke (Proverbs 27:5).
