Why should we forgive others? At first glance, we might think we should do so out of the goodness of our heart. Yet, there must be a deeper and more foundational reason for our forgiveness. Fundamentally, our forgiveness should be centered upon the Lord and His forgiveness toward us. Read Ephesians 4:32 above again. What should motivate our complete forgiveness of others? Is it not because we have been completely forgiven by the Lord? Look closely and you will see that God forgave us “for Christ’s sake.” If God forgave you for the sake of His Son, should this not also be the basis of our forgiveness of others? John confirmed this foundational truth of God’s forgiveness in his first epistle when he said, “. . . your sins are forgiven you for his name’s sake” (1 John 2:12). When we forgive others, we do so “for Christ’s sake.” Forgiving others because you have been forgiven illustrates God's mercy to others.
God cannot allow man to simply sin with impunity because of His holy and righteous character that demands a righteous judgment. Yet, the Bible proclaims that the Lord is “good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon” Him (Psalm 86:5). It is important to realize that the Lord’s ultimate desire involves His desire to forgive a man’s sins. Therefore, the key to a relationship with the Creator involves trusting wholly in God’s provision. This is what the Bible means by, “The Lord is . . . not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). Punishment for sin is death and man’s singular hope rests in God’s mercy. Based upon this readiness to forgive, the Father sent His only begotten Son to shed His blood for the sins of the world. Salvation is not the end all for forgiveness. Even after salvation, the Lord desires for man to remain in close fellowship with Him, but sin separates. The Bible again holds the key when it says that the Lord “is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). We are clean at salvation but must look to God for an ongoing cleansing.
Our words should never be used by the Devil as weapons to destroy or discourage others. Any problem with our words reveals a problem with our heart: “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34). The mouth can exhibit good or bad and our actions reveal the heart of the problem when the Bible says, “out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies” (Matthew 15:19). This is why our words are not always profitable to those who hear them. Yet, God admonishes us to “let no corrupt communication proceed out of” our mouth. Believers are instead encouraged to make sure their words are “good to the use of edifying.” The saint of God should speak words that God can use to build up other saints in the faith.
This world, though it consistently fails to recognize and know the Lord, should consistently recognize Christ's conversation through the life of the believer. Our conversation should always match, or become, the gospel of Christ and the new life that we have in Him. Our conversation should be holy because the Lord is holy (1 Peter 1:15). In 2 Peter 3:11, we learn that the dissolving of this world ought to cause us to walk “in all holy conversation and godliness.” In other words, our practical Christian life should resemble the change inside of us that took place at salvation. Others should see the Lord Jesus Christ in our actions and in our way of life.
The Bible teaches us that “if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Following salvation, a man's life should display visible changes as he seeks to put off his former conversation. According to scripture, that former conversation fulfilled “the desires of the flesh and of the mind” (Ephesians 2:3). By the grace of God, change is possible because every believer has been redeemed from his “vain conversation” (1 Peter 1:18). The apostle Paul is a great example. Before meeting the Lord on the road to Damascus, Paul's conversation or lifestyle involved mercilessly persecuting the church (Galatians 1:13). In his new life with Christ, he immediately began preaching the very faith he once destroyed (Galatians 1:23). When a person truly places his faith for salvation in the finished work of Christ, his conversation will change accordingly.
Modern usage of the word conversation generally limits the definition to two people involved in a dialog. However, the Bible frequently uses the word conversation in a different sense. In fact, our passage reveals that a conversation can occur without words. Several other verses confirm connecting works to a man’s conversation (James 3:13; 1 Peter 2:12). The Bible’s use of conversation can involve something that others can observe (1 Peter 2:12; 1 Peter 3:2) and consider (Hebrews 13:7). Obviously, a man’s conversation is more complex than a simple discussion held between two or more persons. Scripturally speaking, our conversation reveals how we live our lives in front of others. Though this world would apply conversation only to what we say, God never intended for its usage to be limited to that single aspect.
A basic definition of communication involves making things common. When we speak to others, we express what is in our minds and hearts making those thoughts common with others. The Bible warns the believer in Ephesians 4:29 to “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” The words that come out of our mouths should edify or build up others, not demean and degrade them. They should be strengthened by what we say. Keep in mind that corrupt communications weaken the believer (1 Corinthians 15:33). This is why Christians are instructed to put off all “filthy communication” (Colossians 3:8).
The believer is to allow no place for bitterness within his life. The book of Ephesians directly associates bitterness with the sins of wrath, anger, clamour, evil speaking, and malice. Each of these sins grieves the Spirit of God and ought to grieve the believer. As such, Christians are admonished to put away all bitterness. As bitterness shows itself in the depths of our hearts, we ought to immediately seek the Lord and plead for His help in removing it by its root. In a similar passage (Colossians 3:8), we are admonished to “put off” many of these other sins mentioned. Always keep in mind that bitterness does not edify the believer or those around him, nor does it glorify the Lord. Simply choose to obey God by putting away and putting off bitterness.
A good Bible student often incorporates many of the same tactics as a good detective. Defining Bible words involves such a task. No single verse specifically defines the word bitterness. Yet, a careful study of a few verses will help to bring the pieces together and to provide understanding. According to Isaiah, bitterness and peace are at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum (Isaiah 38:17). Proverbs associates the word bitter directly to the word sharp (Proverbs 5:4). And, lastly, the word bitter is connected to the word affliction (2 Kings 14:26, Lamentations 1:4). Using these scriptural clues, a good student will understand bitterness to be a sharp affliction. Additionally, consider the connection between the words bitter and bite, making bitterness a sharp affliction with bite. Bitterness always begins on the inside of an individual and, as we will learn, eventually works its way to the outside for others to see.
Some Bible teachers have erroneously suggested that anger is a sin. But God actually commands His people to be angry, yet further instructs them not to allow that anger to push them to respond sinfully (Ephesians 4:26). If a man can be angry without sinning, then anger is not a sin. In fact, anger used in a righteous manner can accomplish many things for the Lord. One of the benefits of anger is found in today’s passage. A good, healthy, angry countenance can serve as the best remedy to keep people from backbiting others while in your presence. The reason people backbite others is because they have an audience for their vitriol. If we would express our displeasure, the backbiting would cease. Try it out! The backbiting tongue will cease the moment you respond with an angry countenance.
