The Bible has much to say concerning the dangers of improper family relationships. “There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother” (Proverbs 30:11). “The son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother” (Micah 7:6), “the eye . . . mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother” (Proverbs 30:17). Yet, the first commandment with promise was to “honour thy father and mother” (Ephesians 6:1-2). This honour can be demonstrated by hearkening to (Proverbs 23:22) and obeying one’s parents (Colossians 3:20). As parents seek the Lord’s direction, God will lead them as to how to lead their individual homes (Ezra 8:21). The child’s responsibility is directed toward submitting to and learning of the Lord by obeying the parents.
With all the difficult challenges that a woman faces within the home, it should not be surprising that the Lord repeatedly gave warnings against a woman with a contentious spirit. How does the downward spiral begin? She may spend her life serving others with little to no thanks. She may honour and submit to a husband who deserves little honour or authority. If she does not continually walk with the Lord, she can become disillusioned with the Lord and with her duties as a mother and wife. She might begin to be contentious (Proverbs 21:9; Proverbs 25:24; Proverbs 27:15) causing greater problems in the home, perhaps to the point of causing those she loves to become bitter against her (Colossians 3:19).
The Bible says that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34). This means that the words proceeding out of our mouths originate in our hearts. When we speak bitter words, it is because there is bitterness within our hearts. David likened bitter words to arrows that pierce the flesh (Psalm 64:3). Our words ought to be “seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6); instead, we often allow our words to pierce through others. We tear people down rather than building them up. Why is this? Because we have a root of bitterness growing inside that finds its way from our hearts into and out of our mouths. Those who demean others generally do so because they are bitter. Attempts to justify this behaviour are fruitless because the Lord knows the root of the problem stems from our heart.
The believer is to allow no place for bitterness within his life. The book of Ephesians directly associates bitterness with the sins of wrath, anger, clamour, evil speaking, and malice. Each of these sins grieves the Spirit of God and ought to grieve the believer. As such, Christians are admonished to put away all bitterness. As bitterness shows itself in the depths of our hearts, we ought to immediately seek the Lord and plead for His help in removing it by its root. In a similar passage (Colossians 3:8), we are admonished to “put off” many of these other sins mentioned. Always keep in mind that bitterness does not edify the believer or those around him, nor does it glorify the Lord. Simply choose to obey God by putting away and putting off bitterness.
