The world justifies an almost unlimited range of reasons for divorce, but the Lord is much more narrow-minded. In fact, the Lord only offered one just cause for divorce in Matthew 19:9. An excellent cross reference (Deuteronomy 24:1) indicates that the fornication mentioned involves an uncleanness found within the woman that took place prior to marriage. If this be true, even adultery fails to qualify as scriptural grounds for divorce. One might argue that the Lord broadened this scope when speaking of the unbelieving spouse leaving the believer, but even there the Lord said to the believing husband, “let him not put her away” (1 Corinthians 7:12) and to the believing wife, “let her not leave him” (1 Corinthians 7:13).
Because of the hardness of man’s heart, God permitted man to seek a divorce. The Pharisees, who generally sought to broaden the law’s reach and its application, sought to expand the justification for a divorce. The Lord never condoned this type of perversion of truth but quickly told the Pharisees that God never intended for marriage to have an escape clause when a man grew weary or discontented. God introduced the bill of divorcement because of the hardness of men’s hearts. Even then, the Lord indicated very limited grounds for a biblical divorce. Divorce was never intended to be an option for the masses, and even in those cases where a bill of divorcement was justified or allowed, the Lord still preferred reconciliation between the husband and wife.
Marriage involves a relationship between a man and a woman, but what constitutes a scriptural marriage? Scripturally speaking, it is not merely “flesh joining flesh.” This is plain in that a man could marry a wife only to find that she had been unfaithful with another man to whom she was not married (Deuteronomy 24:1; Matthew 5:32). It is also clear that Shechem defiled Dinah, but then asked if she could become his wife (Genesis 34:1-4). The woman at the well had an improper relationship with a man, but the Lord declared that that particular man was not her husband (John 4:16-18). Instead, marriage occurs when God joins a man and a woman (Genesis 2:21-24; Mark 10:9), and it is often established by a ceremony with vows given to each other (Matthew 22:1-13; John 2:1-2).
God instituted marriage and He alone has the right to establish the rightful candidates to join together in this or any other union. Man has no God-given right to interfere with the precepts of God. Everything in creation declares that marriage always includes only a relationship between one man and one woman. Additionally, the marriage bounds are not subject to popular vote of society nor subject to modification by any court or law of the land. Its conditions are set by the highest law and the highest court. God could have presented Adam with another man, but He did not. In God’s eyes, marriage is a specific relationship fulfilled only between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:21-23), and any deviation of this is unseemly and an abomination to God (Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:26-27).
Why should we forgive others? At first glance, we might think we should do so out of the goodness of our heart. Yet, there must be a deeper and more foundational reason for our forgiveness. Fundamentally, our forgiveness should be centered upon the Lord and His forgiveness toward us. Read Ephesians 4:32 above again. What should motivate our complete forgiveness of others? Is it not because we have been completely forgiven by the Lord? Look closely and you will see that God forgave us “for Christ’s sake.” If God forgave you for the sake of His Son, should this not also be the basis of our forgiveness of others? John confirmed this foundational truth of God’s forgiveness in his first epistle when he said, “. . . your sins are forgiven you for his name’s sake” (1 John 2:12). When we forgive others, we do so “for Christ’s sake.” Forgiving others because you have been forgiven illustrates God's mercy to others.
Prior to salvation, every individual comes to understand the need for forgiveness of sins. Forgiveness is directly associated to the nature of man’s relationship with God. Yet, apart from the need for initial forgiveness, most Christians have a very shallow concept of how the Bible defines forgiveness in general. According to scripture, forgiveness is directly connected to the covering of sin (Psalm 32:1). Psalm 32 does not stand alone as Psalm 85:2 exhibits the same association: “Thou hast forgiven the iniquity of thy people, thou hast covered all their sin. Selah.” It is important to understand the Bible correlation of something being forgiven and covered. Interestingly, the Bible connects being forgiven and covered with financial expressions. For example, the Bible uses forgiveness as a financial term in Matthew 6:12. The term forgiveness suggests a removal of responsibility, while the term covered suggests that the debt was settled by another.
The Lord is gracious and merciful and ready to forgive, but how ready to forgive should Christians be? Simon Peter pondered this question as He asked the Lord about it. The Bible records the Lord's response to Peter for all future generations to consider. Peter wanted specifics; what are to be the limitations of one's forgiveness? Like many of us, He wanted boundaries and limitations. He specifically wanted to know how many times he needed to forgive those who had wronged him. The Lord answered Peter's inquiry by saying that he shouldn’t just forgive seven times (the amount Peter asked about), but seventy times seven. Some of those reading the Lord's response have concluded incorrectly that the Lord was simply placing a much higher limitation upon one's willingness to forgive others. Yet, the Lord intended to convey something without limitation. Men ought to forgive those who have wronged them every time an offender comes in true repentance (meaning he is sorry for what he has done) (Luke 17:3-4).
The study of why men ought to forgive others may seem obvious, but it is actually quite complex without some thorough Bible study. On several occasions, the Lord told His disciples that they needed to forgive in order to be forgiven (Matthew 6:14-15; Matthew 18:34-35; Mark 11:25-26; Luke 6:37). As a result of these statements, many Christians live in fear that they will not receive God’s forgiveness unless and until they have forgiven all those who have wronged them. Two things need to be understood contextually: (1) these commandments from the Gospels were given prior to Christ's sacrificial death upon the cross and (2) He was speaking specifically to His Jewish people. Diligent Bible study always involves asking to whom God is speaking in any particular text. Epistles written specifically to and for the church following Christ's sacrifice reveal that those who are saved are already forgiven on the basis of Christ's payment on the cross. Today, men do not forgive to be forgiven; they should forgive others because they have already been forgiven (Colossians 3:13).
