The world justifies an almost unlimited range of reasons for divorce, but the Lord is much more narrow-minded. In fact, the Lord only offered one just cause for divorce in Matthew 19:9. An excellent cross reference (Deuteronomy 24:1) indicates that the fornication mentioned involves an uncleanness found within the woman that took place prior to marriage. If this be true, even adultery fails to qualify as scriptural grounds for divorce. One might argue that the Lord broadened this scope when speaking of the unbelieving spouse leaving the believer, but even there the Lord said to the believing husband, “let him not put her away” (1 Corinthians 7:12) and to the believing wife, “let her not leave him” (1 Corinthians 7:13).
Because of the hardness of man’s heart, God permitted man to seek a divorce. The Pharisees, who generally sought to broaden the law’s reach and its application, sought to expand the justification for a divorce. The Lord never condoned this type of perversion of truth but quickly told the Pharisees that God never intended for marriage to have an escape clause when a man grew weary or discontented. God introduced the bill of divorcement because of the hardness of men’s hearts. Even then, the Lord indicated very limited grounds for a biblical divorce. Divorce was never intended to be an option for the masses, and even in those cases where a bill of divorcement was justified or allowed, the Lord still preferred reconciliation between the husband and wife.
Marriage involves a relationship between a man and a woman, but what constitutes a scriptural marriage? Scripturally speaking, it is not merely “flesh joining flesh.” This is plain in that a man could marry a wife only to find that she had been unfaithful with another man to whom she was not married (Deuteronomy 24:1; Matthew 5:32). It is also clear that Shechem defiled Dinah, but then asked if she could become his wife (Genesis 34:1-4). The woman at the well had an improper relationship with a man, but the Lord declared that that particular man was not her husband (John 4:16-18). Instead, marriage occurs when God joins a man and a woman (Genesis 2:21-24; Mark 10:9), and it is often established by a ceremony with vows given to each other (Matthew 22:1-13; John 2:1-2).
God instituted marriage and He alone has the right to establish the rightful candidates to join together in this or any other union. Man has no God-given right to interfere with the precepts of God. Everything in creation declares that marriage always includes only a relationship between one man and one woman. Additionally, the marriage bounds are not subject to popular vote of society nor subject to modification by any court or law of the land. Its conditions are set by the highest law and the highest court. God could have presented Adam with another man, but He did not. In God’s eyes, marriage is a specific relationship fulfilled only between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:21-23), and any deviation of this is unseemly and an abomination to God (Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:26-27).
God designed and willed for the Christian home and the local body of believers to function as two of the closest experiences to heaven on this side of eternity. As believers, we ought to love one another (John 13:34-35) and serve one another by that love (Galatians 5:13). Rather than backbiting and devouring each other (Galatians 5:15), believers ought to give themselves to ministering to each other. In Paul’s epistle to the Corinthian believers, God led Paul to mention a family addicted to the ministry. At some point, this family decided to sacrifice their own gain for the sake of ministering to others. Because of this commitment, the Bible says that Stephanas refreshed the spirit of other believers.
Sometimes we forget that the first four letters of the word ministry spell out the word “mini.” Ministry is never about becoming popular or famous or lording over others. Ministry involves decreasing while allowing others to increase. Two of the greatest men of the Bible (Joshua and Elisha) got their start as ministers to their predecessors. Before Joshua led the Israelites into Canaan, he was the minister of Moses (Joshua 1:1). His ministry entailed submitting himself to the needs of the man of God. Elisha, another great leader, did not begin as the great prophet of God that performed miracles. He, instead, began as Elijah’s minister (1 Kings 19:19-21). His ministry included the “lofty task” of pouring water on the hands of Elijah. Far too many young men graduate Bible college with the intention of making a name for themselves rather than humbly serving a God who humbled Himself (Philippians 2:8).
