The world justifies an almost unlimited range of reasons for divorce, but the Lord is much more narrow-minded. In fact, the Lord only offered one just cause for divorce in Matthew 19:9. An excellent cross reference (Deuteronomy 24:1) indicates that the fornication mentioned involves an uncleanness found within the woman that took place prior to marriage. If this be true, even adultery fails to qualify as scriptural grounds for divorce. One might argue that the Lord broadened this scope when speaking of the unbelieving spouse leaving the believer, but even there the Lord said to the believing husband, “let him not put her away” (1 Corinthians 7:12) and to the believing wife, “let her not leave him” (1 Corinthians 7:13).
Because of the hardness of man’s heart, God permitted man to seek a divorce. The Pharisees, who generally sought to broaden the law’s reach and its application, sought to expand the justification for a divorce. The Lord never condoned this type of perversion of truth but quickly told the Pharisees that God never intended for marriage to have an escape clause when a man grew weary or discontented. God introduced the bill of divorcement because of the hardness of men’s hearts. Even then, the Lord indicated very limited grounds for a biblical divorce. Divorce was never intended to be an option for the masses, and even in those cases where a bill of divorcement was justified or allowed, the Lord still preferred reconciliation between the husband and wife.
Marriage involves a relationship between a man and a woman, but what constitutes a scriptural marriage? Scripturally speaking, it is not merely “flesh joining flesh.” This is plain in that a man could marry a wife only to find that she had been unfaithful with another man to whom she was not married (Deuteronomy 24:1; Matthew 5:32). It is also clear that Shechem defiled Dinah, but then asked if she could become his wife (Genesis 34:1-4). The woman at the well had an improper relationship with a man, but the Lord declared that that particular man was not her husband (John 4:16-18). Instead, marriage occurs when God joins a man and a woman (Genesis 2:21-24; Mark 10:9), and it is often established by a ceremony with vows given to each other (Matthew 22:1-13; John 2:1-2).
Scripture plainly reveals that God repeatedly calls for His people to separate from the world. This separation extends to every aspect of life, especially including the marriage bond. Why? Because God knows the very real danger that unbelievers pose to believers by drawing them away from Him (Deuteronomy 7:3-4; Judges 3:6-7; 1 Kings 11:2). This is why God specifically instructed His people in both the Old and New Testament to marry among themselves (Jew with Jew and Christian with Christian). The nation of Israel was forbidden to yoke up with the surrounding nations because Israel would adopt heathen practices and the worship of false gods (Exodus 34:15-16). Though God’s commands for the New Testament believer are often different from His plan for the Jew, in this aspect they remain constant and unchangeable.
God instituted marriage and He alone has the right to establish the rightful candidates to join together in this or any other union. Man has no God-given right to interfere with the precepts of God. Everything in creation declares that marriage always includes only a relationship between one man and one woman. Additionally, the marriage bounds are not subject to popular vote of society nor subject to modification by any court or law of the land. Its conditions are set by the highest law and the highest court. God could have presented Adam with another man, but He did not. In God’s eyes, marriage is a specific relationship fulfilled only between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:21-23), and any deviation of this is unseemly and an abomination to God (Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:26-27).
No believer should knowingly marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14). Additionally, the unmarried should look for other strengths and weaknesses in a prospective spouse before agreeing to marriage. Oftentimes, these strengths and weaknesses can be seen by interaction with the other’s parents. Isaac lied about Rebekah (Genesis 26:6-7) just as his father Abraham lied about Sarah (Genesis 12:10-13; Genesis 20:1-2). Solomon’s weakness for women (1 Kings 11:1) was first witnessed in his father David (2 Samuel 11:1-4). Rachel learned deception (Genesis 31:32-35) by watching her father act deceptively (Genesis 29:25). A careful observation of parents can reveal prospective problems in a future spouse.
