Why should we forgive others? At first glance, we might think we should do so out of the goodness of our heart. Yet, there must be a deeper and more foundational reason for our forgiveness. Fundamentally, our forgiveness should be centered upon the Lord and His forgiveness toward us. Read Ephesians 4:32 above again. What should motivate our complete forgiveness of others? Is it not because we have been completely forgiven by the Lord? Look closely and you will see that God forgave us “for Christ’s sake.” If God forgave you for the sake of His Son, should this not also be the basis of our forgiveness of others? John confirmed this foundational truth of God’s forgiveness in his first epistle when he said, “. . . your sins are forgiven you for his name’s sake” (1 John 2:12). When we forgive others, we do so “for Christ’s sake.” Forgiving others because you have been forgiven illustrates God's mercy to others.
The believer is to allow no place for bitterness within his life. The book of Ephesians directly associates bitterness with the sins of wrath, anger, clamour, evil speaking, and malice. Each of these sins grieves the Spirit of God and ought to grieve the believer. As such, Christians are admonished to put away all bitterness. As bitterness shows itself in the depths of our hearts, we ought to immediately seek the Lord and plead for His help in removing it by its root. In a similar passage (Colossians 3:8), we are admonished to “put off” many of these other sins mentioned. Always keep in mind that bitterness does not edify the believer or those around him, nor does it glorify the Lord. Simply choose to obey God by putting away and putting off bitterness.
A good Bible student often incorporates many of the same tactics as a good detective. Defining Bible words involves such a task. No single verse specifically defines the word bitterness. Yet, a careful study of a few verses will help to bring the pieces together and to provide understanding. According to Isaiah, bitterness and peace are at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum (Isaiah 38:17). Proverbs associates the word bitter directly to the word sharp (Proverbs 5:4). And, lastly, the word bitter is connected to the word affliction (2 Kings 14:26, Lamentations 1:4). Using these scriptural clues, a good student will understand bitterness to be a sharp affliction. Additionally, consider the connection between the words bitter and bite, making bitterness a sharp affliction with bite. Bitterness always begins on the inside of an individual and, as we will learn, eventually works its way to the outside for others to see.
We previously alluded to the very real probability of conflicting authorities. What happens when the government tells men that they cannot obey the words of God? What should a lady do when her husband tells her to do something clearly contrary to the scriptures? What should employees do when asked by their employer to disobey a clear command found in the word of God? What should a church do when the preacher departs from the truths of the Bible? These are tough questions, but the Lord did not leave us without answers and guidance. When authorities conflict, “We ought to obey God rather than men.” Man’s responsibility in obedience is first and foremost to God. Men should obey those who have been given authority by God so long as those men do not lead contrary to God's precepts.
Living the Christian life is not limited in time or place. In fact, the workplace serves as one of the most important places for a Christian to exemplify a testimony for the Lord Jesus. Yet, Christians can fail miserably by being lazy workers or disobedient to employers. According to scripture, servants are to obey their masters (Titus 2:9) from the heart (Colossians 3:22) with fear and trembling (Ephesians 6:5-6). Not only are Christians responsible to obey godly bosses, but the Bible commands the same respect to be given to those who are froward (1 Peter 2:18). Believers ought to behave beyond the norm in their service in the workplace. The Bible affirms this truth by saying that servants should “please” their masters well in all things (Titus 2:9). Many lost people have been led to Christ by Christians who live godly and display an impeccable testimony at work.
The home was God's first institution. God gave specific instructions on how the home was to be ordered. In any home dedicated to God's service, each individual has a responsibility to be accountable in the area of obedience. First and foremost, a father or husband is to be obedient to the headship of Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 11:3). Second, the mother or wife is accountable to submit to the authority of her husband (Genesis 3:16; Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:4-5). Lastly, the children are to obey their parents in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20). The home failing to follow God’s plan could possibly have some limited success but will ultimately experience great difficulties. Yet, God will faithfully bless the Christian home where each member submits to his or her God-given authorities.
The study of why men ought to forgive others may seem obvious, but it is actually quite complex without some thorough Bible study. On several occasions, the Lord told His disciples that they needed to forgive in order to be forgiven (Matthew 6:14-15; Matthew 18:34-35; Mark 11:25-26; Luke 6:37). As a result of these statements, many Christians live in fear that they will not receive God’s forgiveness unless and until they have forgiven all those who have wronged them. Two things need to be understood contextually: (1) these commandments from the Gospels were given prior to Christ's sacrificial death upon the cross and (2) He was speaking specifically to His Jewish people. Diligent Bible study always involves asking to whom God is speaking in any particular text. Epistles written specifically to and for the church following Christ's sacrifice reveal that those who are saved are already forgiven on the basis of Christ's payment on the cross. Today, men do not forgive to be forgiven; they should forgive others because they have already been forgiven (Colossians 3:13).
Everyone should and must learn how and when to forgive others. However, forgiveness has some inherent limitations. True forgiveness of sins comes only from Almighty God. People may and should forgive others for things in which they have been wronged, but only God has the capacity to forgive transgressions against Himself and His word. Once an individual has trusted Christ as Saviour, he has been forgiven of all trespasses and the shed blood of Christ serves as the sole basis for that forgiveness (Ephesians 1:7; Colossians 1:14). Though it is important to seek forgiveness from others whom you may have wronged, everyone must still go directly to the Lord to seek the forgiveness for sins. The forgiveness offered by others cancels the conflict amongst and between them; however, the conflict caused by sin between God and man may still remain even after reconciliation has taken place between individuals.
