The Bible clearly teaches that no believer is sinless. As such, each believer experiences times when he is rebuked of the Lord. It is a natural part of the Christian life. At the same time, there will be circumstances which will bring about rebuke from other believers (Ecclesiastes 7:5). These are healthy elements of Christian growth. Yet, the goal of every believer should be one where he lives a life beyond rebuke. Paul’s desire for the Philippian believers was that they “may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation” (Philippians 2:15). He then admonished Timothy to keep God’s commandment “without spot” and “unrebukeable” (1 Timothy 6:14).
Though the Bible refers to the elder in various contexts, today’s passage refers to the elder as simply an older gentleman. The elder here is contrasted first with the younger men while the next verse contrasts it with the elder women. The issue at hand is one of respect. It is important to note that the scripture does not imply or teach that believers can never question the actions of an older man. However, it does indicate the method of this questioning. An elder is not to be rebuked but intreated “as a father.” To intreat a person is to plead with or earnestly ask them. Intreating reflects approaching him with respect which is the method by which the Lord demands an elder be approached.
The Lord never intended for a believer to consider it his duty in life to rebuke others. As the believer gains additional Bible knowledge, he begins to see the world in a far different light. He gains insights that often remain unavailable to those who ignore the truths of scripture. Sin becomes more noticeable and the individual becomes increasingly offended at the world’s corruption. His increased knowledge emboldens him to point out the errors of others. Though in and of itself there is nothing wrong with this, the Bible warns concerning the various responses when someone is rebuked. According to Proverbs 13:1, “a scorner heareth not rebuke.” In fact, a scorner rebuked will return shame and hatred (Proverbs 9:7-8). On the other hand, a believer will find great reward in rebuking the wise (Proverbs 9:8).
Far too few preachers and teachers have taken the time to consider the context of today’s passage. Paul admonished that a rebuke is sometimes unavoidable, but the context reveals that the individual receiving the rebuke is an elder (1 Timothy 5:17-19). It also appears that the rebuke only takes place under specific conditions. Paul informed Timothy that there are times a rebuke must be given in the presence of others. The purpose served to bring fear upon those who witnessed the rebuke so that they too would not repeat the errors of the elder receiving the rebuke. Though a publick rebuke is not a pleasant sight, Proverbs 27:5 says, “Open rebuke is better than secret love.”
The purpose of rebuking someone has been completely distorted in these days of emphasizing political correctness and personal self-esteem. The world now associates a scriptural rebuke with hatred, anger, and envy. In reality, a godly rebuke demonstrates a supreme act of love. The spiritual mindset helps all of this to make sense; whereas, the carnally minded will reject God’s perfect ways. When it is known that an individual is heading in a dangerous direction, hate remains silent; love cries “stop.” Many people under the guise of “secret love” have allowed friends and family to head off into the ways of the world thinking they were doing those people right. Yet, the Bible plainly says, “Open rebuke is better than secret love” (Proverbs 27:5). Once again, the carnal mind struggles to receive this truth, but godly rebukes are based upon love and result from an expression of that love.
When someone receives rebuke from another person, it is rarely easy to accept. The person receiving the rebuke may lash out in anger even when the rebuke is scripturally made with longsuffering. The Bible confirms this type of reaction when it says, “They hate him that rebuketh in the gate, and they abhor him that speaketh uprightly” (Amos 5:10). This type of reaction is not one of a wise man, nor is it from one who has taken the time to consider the godly rebuke’s content and intention. The Bible also says that afterwards the one who rebukes finds “more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue.” Ultimately, the Lord’s reaction is what matters and the scriptural practice of rebuking others within the authority of scripture pleases Him.
It is difficult for new and sometimes older Christians to fully comprehend sin's effects. From God’s perspective, every facet of sin involves a vile act. However, from man’s viewpoint, though sin can be extremely harmful, the temporary pleasures (Hebrews 11:25) distract from sin's injurious nature. For instance, Proverbs 6:24 warns about the “evil woman.” We might think this to mean that we should stay away from women who say bad things, yet the evil woman does not always speak negatively. In fact, this woman is said to speak with flattery; she says nice things but with impure motives. This warning is so important that it was given on multiple occasions (Proverbs 2:16; Proverbs 6:24; Proverbs 7:5, 21). The warning here is given specifically about a strange woman (a woman other than the man’s wife), but it applies to men and women alike. We ought to always be on guard about those who flatter us with their words.
Nobody likes to spend time around those who act in a rude or insulting manner. Most people would rather spend people-time with those who focus on saying nice things. However, the truth is that one is just as spiritually dangerous to one's well-being as the other. This is why the Bible warns us to “meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.” Flattery is directly connected to deceit and covetousness; therefore, God intends for His warning to help Christians avoid people who say nice things deceitfully. These people intend to take advantage of their target. Far too many people have been mistreated and lied to by others whom they thought to be dear friends. It is best to avoid those with flattering lips.
Today's passage proves the Bible truth that our thoughts are not God’s thoughts, neither our ways His ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). God's thoughts are always unimaginably loftier than ours. Unlike God, our thoughts are bound by our limited knowledge. Contrary to the Lord’s, our knowledge is easily corrupted through various influences. This is why scripture reading and preaching often conflicts with our natural thought process. For instance, our natural mind considers rebuke something harmful, negatively affecting the person receiving it. We also naturally consider flattery as something beneficial and uplifting to the recipient. Yet, we have already seen how flattery can be harmful, but have you ever considered the superiority of a rebuke? The Bible says rebuke is better because of what it yields “afterwards.” In the long run, rebuke is far superior to flattery.
Biblical terminology is very important. For example, ignorance of Bible vocabulary has led people to believe that flattery is considerate if it makes others feel good. Yet, the picture presented by scripture is contrary to this line of thinking. Flattery harms both the giver and the recipient. According to scripture, “A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin” (Proverbs 26:28). While we have been led to believe flattery edifies, in reality, it destroys. This truth is confirmed in Proverbs 29:5 where the Bible says, “A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.” Even the flatterer is harmed by his flattery: “He that speaketh flattery to his friends, even the eyes of his children shall fail” (Job 17:5). Without a doubt, flattery harms all those involved.
