In a day when the world uses the word love rather flippantly, the people of God need to revisit the concept of biblical love. The Bible says, “A friend loveth at all times.” This infers that the concept of falling in and out of love is unscriptural. Biblically defined love is not a fleeting emotion controlled by one’s feelings. It remains a choice based on the truths of scripture and falls outside the whims of one's emotional passions. The world declares its love for something and in the same breath declares its love lost for the latest passing fad. Just as God’s love for us remains permanent, so ought our love for others. Unfortunately, this fickleness has crept into the lives of the believers. We could learn much by considering the example of the Lord’s love for His enemies even after they had so cruelly nailed Him to the tree (Luke 23:34). Biblical love forgives and continues to unconditionally forgive regardless of any objectionable response to one’s love (Proverbs 10:12).
Worldly misconceptions have caused many believers to struggle with the biblical concept of love. Love can originate from what is generally considered a negative expression. Our passage shows that the Lord corrects those whom He loves. Love does not express itself for the satisfaction of the one who loves, but for the benefit of the one that is the object of one’s love. When we think of how to express our love for someone, a hug or kind words generally come to mind. These expressions are often used to send a message of love; however, the Bible presents additional insights often not directly associated to loving someone. This is why the Bible points out that chastening can be used to express love toward the recipient. Furthermore, Proverbs 13:24 shows that a father who loves his son chastens that son because of his love for that child. We are led to believe that expressing love for others is best expressed by bailing them out every time they are in trouble. Yet, the Lord declares that love does what is best for the recipients of that love, even if that includes correction.
Proverbs 31 reveals the attributes of a virtuous woman (Proverbs 31:10). Though a virtuous woman possesses many wonderful traits, perhaps her greatest strength lies in the manner in which she speaks—with wisdom. This God-given wisdom enables her to refrain her lips from foolishness, instead choosing to edify others with her speech. Many people offer others advice and even wisdom, but this woman is said to speak with the “law of kindness” in her tongue. Not only does she speak wisely, but she presents this wisdom with the right spirit--the spirit of kindness. Apparently, when she speaks wisely, her words encourage others to listen and heed what she says. Her hearers want to receive her words and put them into practice. Why? Because she presents her words with this “law of kindness” much like those today who are “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).
Most sincere people, seeking opportunities to show kindness toward others, will generally have more opportunities than means. In fact, some instances will arise when helping others remains practically impossible. This is especially true when a financial need arises beyond the person's capacity to help. Does this mean kindness does not exist or that the individual lacks genuineness? No! Today's passage teaches a profound principle, “the desire of a man is his kindness.” Kindness is exemplified where there is a present desire to be kind toward others even though the individual may be without means to fulfil his desire to help. The passage ends by stating that “a poor man is better than a liar.” A man who desires to help but cannot do so is better than those who lie or deceive others about their true heart's intent to show kindness. Thankfully, God does not simply look at the outward act but can always see the heart's true desire, purpose, and motive!
Far too many of today's pundits sanction giving others whatever they want in an attempt to display true love. Parents have become increasingly trapped in this dilemma being convinced that they fail their children unless they give them every new gadget. The husbands thought to love the most are the ones who shower their wives with the most, the best, and do so frequently. The average person may find these scenarios reasonable, but they remain completely contrary to the word of God. In fact, the Bible expresses just the opposite. Today's passage reveals that a righteous man could actually smite someone with his words in kindness. A righteous man will always offer a rebuke (or correction) to those heading in the wrong direction. The intention of such a rebuke is to set the person back on the right track; true biblical kindness at work. Proverbs extols the virtues of those wounds gained when offered in the spirit of kindness and friendship (Proverbs 27:6). Kindness is never demonstrated by simply telling others what they want to hear but often confirmed through open rebuke (Proverbs 27:5).
