The Bible clearly teaches that no believer is sinless. As such, each believer experiences times when he is rebuked of the Lord. It is a natural part of the Christian life. At the same time, there will be circumstances which will bring about rebuke from other believers (Ecclesiastes 7:5). These are healthy elements of Christian growth. Yet, the goal of every believer should be one where he lives a life beyond rebuke. Paul’s desire for the Philippian believers was that they “may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation” (Philippians 2:15). He then admonished Timothy to keep God’s commandment “without spot” and “unrebukeable” (1 Timothy 6:14).
Though the Bible refers to the elder in various contexts, today’s passage refers to the elder as simply an older gentleman. The elder here is contrasted first with the younger men while the next verse contrasts it with the elder women. The issue at hand is one of respect. It is important to note that the scripture does not imply or teach that believers can never question the actions of an older man. However, it does indicate the method of this questioning. An elder is not to be rebuked but intreated “as a father.” To intreat a person is to plead with or earnestly ask them. Intreating reflects approaching him with respect which is the method by which the Lord demands an elder be approached.
The Lord never intended for a believer to consider it his duty in life to rebuke others. As the believer gains additional Bible knowledge, he begins to see the world in a far different light. He gains insights that often remain unavailable to those who ignore the truths of scripture. Sin becomes more noticeable and the individual becomes increasingly offended at the world’s corruption. His increased knowledge emboldens him to point out the errors of others. Though in and of itself there is nothing wrong with this, the Bible warns concerning the various responses when someone is rebuked. According to Proverbs 13:1, “a scorner heareth not rebuke.” In fact, a scorner rebuked will return shame and hatred (Proverbs 9:7-8). On the other hand, a believer will find great reward in rebuking the wise (Proverbs 9:8).
Far too few preachers and teachers have taken the time to consider the context of today’s passage. Paul admonished that a rebuke is sometimes unavoidable, but the context reveals that the individual receiving the rebuke is an elder (1 Timothy 5:17-19). It also appears that the rebuke only takes place under specific conditions. Paul informed Timothy that there are times a rebuke must be given in the presence of others. The purpose served to bring fear upon those who witnessed the rebuke so that they too would not repeat the errors of the elder receiving the rebuke. Though a publick rebuke is not a pleasant sight, Proverbs 27:5 says, “Open rebuke is better than secret love.”
The purpose of rebuking someone has been completely distorted in these days of emphasizing political correctness and personal self-esteem. The world now associates a scriptural rebuke with hatred, anger, and envy. In reality, a godly rebuke demonstrates a supreme act of love. The spiritual mindset helps all of this to make sense; whereas, the carnally minded will reject God’s perfect ways. When it is known that an individual is heading in a dangerous direction, hate remains silent; love cries “stop.” Many people under the guise of “secret love” have allowed friends and family to head off into the ways of the world thinking they were doing those people right. Yet, the Bible plainly says, “Open rebuke is better than secret love” (Proverbs 27:5). Once again, the carnal mind struggles to receive this truth, but godly rebukes are based upon love and result from an expression of that love.
When someone receives rebuke from another person, it is rarely easy to accept. The person receiving the rebuke may lash out in anger even when the rebuke is scripturally made with longsuffering. The Bible confirms this type of reaction when it says, “They hate him that rebuketh in the gate, and they abhor him that speaketh uprightly” (Amos 5:10). This type of reaction is not one of a wise man, nor is it from one who has taken the time to consider the godly rebuke’s content and intention. The Bible also says that afterwards the one who rebukes finds “more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue.” Ultimately, the Lord’s reaction is what matters and the scriptural practice of rebuking others within the authority of scripture pleases Him.
Proverbs 31 reveals the attributes of a virtuous woman (Proverbs 31:10). Though a virtuous woman possesses many wonderful traits, perhaps her greatest strength lies in the manner in which she speaks—with wisdom. This God-given wisdom enables her to refrain her lips from foolishness, instead choosing to edify others with her speech. Many people offer others advice and even wisdom, but this woman is said to speak with the “law of kindness” in her tongue. Not only does she speak wisely, but she presents this wisdom with the right spirit--the spirit of kindness. Apparently, when she speaks wisely, her words encourage others to listen and heed what she says. Her hearers want to receive her words and put them into practice. Why? Because she presents her words with this “law of kindness” much like those today who are “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).
Most sincere people, seeking opportunities to show kindness toward others, will generally have more opportunities than means. In fact, some instances will arise when helping others remains practically impossible. This is especially true when a financial need arises beyond the person's capacity to help. Does this mean kindness does not exist or that the individual lacks genuineness? No! Today's passage teaches a profound principle, “the desire of a man is his kindness.” Kindness is exemplified where there is a present desire to be kind toward others even though the individual may be without means to fulfil his desire to help. The passage ends by stating that “a poor man is better than a liar.” A man who desires to help but cannot do so is better than those who lie or deceive others about their true heart's intent to show kindness. Thankfully, God does not simply look at the outward act but can always see the heart's true desire, purpose, and motive!
Far too many of today's pundits sanction giving others whatever they want in an attempt to display true love. Parents have become increasingly trapped in this dilemma being convinced that they fail their children unless they give them every new gadget. The husbands thought to love the most are the ones who shower their wives with the most, the best, and do so frequently. The average person may find these scenarios reasonable, but they remain completely contrary to the word of God. In fact, the Bible expresses just the opposite. Today's passage reveals that a righteous man could actually smite someone with his words in kindness. A righteous man will always offer a rebuke (or correction) to those heading in the wrong direction. The intention of such a rebuke is to set the person back on the right track; true biblical kindness at work. Proverbs extols the virtues of those wounds gained when offered in the spirit of kindness and friendship (Proverbs 27:6). Kindness is never demonstrated by simply telling others what they want to hear but often confirmed through open rebuke (Proverbs 27:5).
