Far too often what is done in the home under the guise of chastening is far from God’s scriptural pattern of discipline. This is nothing new. According to Hebrews 12:10, the Jewish fathers were guilty of chastening their children “after their own pleasure.” Two major problems commonly surface in the discipline implemented in the home: (1) the reason for correction and (2) the motive in correction. According to God’s pattern, parents should never discipline their children because of an annoyance but because of a direct violation of a known law. This is God’s way and should be the consistent practice of godly parents. In addition to this, godly parents should follow God’s pattern and chasten in love for the sake of the child.
God designed and intended for biblical chastening to have righteousness as its intended outcome. Recipients of chastening may find the process grievous, but “afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” The process may not be at all enjoyable or peaceable, yet the Bible affirms that the outcome is peace. A careful look at the word chasten provides this insight. The root word for chasten is the word chaste. The end goal for those being chastened is that they would become chaste. Chastening is intended to be a purification process that corrects the wrongs for which it was initially implemented. It always leaves the recipient that endures the chastening a stronger and purer person than before the process began.
One who has little understanding of chastening might suggest that God’s chastening is an act born of hatred, but it actually represents an overflowing love from the heart of God. God expresses His motives for chastening His children in Hebrews 12:6 when He says, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.” Again in Revelation 3:19 the Lord says, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.” This again displays a distinction between punishment and chastening. The source of punishment could be construed as anger, justice, or wrath, but the motive of true biblical chastening involves the purest form of love. This means that chastening does not merely benefit the one implementing the chastening, but takes place for the good of the one chastened.
Chastening is not merely a means of judgment implemented by the Lord for wrongdoing, but also serves as a proof of sonship. According to Hebrews 12:6, at some point in every child of God’s life, he will experience the chastening hand of the Lord. Any individual able to freely do wrong without God’s chastening should examine whether or not he is in the faith. The absence of chastening suggests that a person is not a son of God (Hebrews 12:8). Just as any good father will not allow his son to get away with wrongdoing, God the Father does not allow His children to do wrong without suffering the consequences of such actions. Chastisement may be delayed, but it is inevitable.
In the most basic sense, punishment is directed toward those who have done wrong. Though any particular punishment may seem harsh by those receiving the punishment, God intended it to be a calculated response toward wrongdoing. Though there are some passages in the Old Testament that indicate punishment was directed toward the people of God (Ezra 9:13; Hosea 12:2), the vast majority of references demonstrate that it was intended for the enemies of God (Psalm 149:7; Proverbs 11:21; Isaiah 10:12; Isaiah 13:11; Isaiah 24:21; Isaiah 26:21; Isaiah 27:1; Jeremiah 25:12; Jeremiah 46:25). A careful study of the New Testament will strengthen the distinction as there are no references to God punishing His people.
Chastening is best associated to a parent-child relationship (Deuteronomy 8:5; 2 Samuel 7:14; Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 19:18; Hebrews 12:6-8). As such, God’s chastening, at least within the New Testament, is only intended for those He calls His sons (1 John 3:2). God chastens His children, not to administer justice, but to strengthen and correct them. The believer does not receive some type of punishment from the Lord resulting from the believer’s sins because these sins have been completely atoned through the shed blood of Christ. However, the saint’s continued practice of sin requires the chastening hand of the Lord in order to conform him into the image of Christ. While chastening is reserved exclusively for sons, a lost man receives only punishment or salvation.
In a day when the world uses the word love rather flippantly, the people of God need to revisit the concept of biblical love. The Bible says, “A friend loveth at all times.” This infers that the concept of falling in and out of love is unscriptural. Biblically defined love is not a fleeting emotion controlled by one’s feelings. It remains a choice based on the truths of scripture and falls outside the whims of one's emotional passions. The world declares its love for something and in the same breath declares its love lost for the latest passing fad. Just as God’s love for us remains permanent, so ought our love for others. Unfortunately, this fickleness has crept into the lives of the believers. We could learn much by considering the example of the Lord’s love for His enemies even after they had so cruelly nailed Him to the tree (Luke 23:34). Biblical love forgives and continues to unconditionally forgive regardless of any objectionable response to one’s love (Proverbs 10:12).
Worldly misconceptions have caused many believers to struggle with the biblical concept of love. Love can originate from what is generally considered a negative expression. Our passage shows that the Lord corrects those whom He loves. Love does not express itself for the satisfaction of the one who loves, but for the benefit of the one that is the object of one’s love. When we think of how to express our love for someone, a hug or kind words generally come to mind. These expressions are often used to send a message of love; however, the Bible presents additional insights often not directly associated to loving someone. This is why the Bible points out that chastening can be used to express love toward the recipient. Furthermore, Proverbs 13:24 shows that a father who loves his son chastens that son because of his love for that child. We are led to believe that expressing love for others is best expressed by bailing them out every time they are in trouble. Yet, the Lord declares that love does what is best for the recipients of that love, even if that includes correction.
