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Far too often what is done in the home under the guise of chastening is far from God’s scriptural pattern of discipline. This is nothing new. According to Hebrews 12:10, the Jewish fathers were guilty of chastening their children “after their own pleasure.” Two major problems commonly surface in the discipline implemented in the home: (1) the reason for correction and (2) the motive in correction. According to God’s pattern, parents should never discipline their children because of an annoyance but because of a direct violation of a known law. This is God’s way and should be the consistent practice of godly parents. In addition to this, godly parents should follow God’s pattern and chasten in love for the sake of the child.
God designed and intended for biblical chastening to have righteousness as its intended outcome. Recipients of chastening may find the process grievous, but “afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” The process may not be at all enjoyable or peaceable, yet the Bible affirms that the outcome is peace. A careful look at the word chasten provides this insight. The root word for chasten is the word chaste. The end goal for those being chastened is that they would become chaste. Chastening is intended to be a purification process that corrects the wrongs for which it was initially implemented. It always leaves the recipient that endures the chastening a stronger and purer person than before the process began.
One who has little understanding of chastening might suggest that God’s chastening is an act born of hatred, but it actually represents an overflowing love from the heart of God. God expresses His motives for chastening His children in Hebrews 12:6 when He says, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.” Again in Revelation 3:19 the Lord says, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.” This again displays a distinction between punishment and chastening. The source of punishment could be construed as anger, justice, or wrath, but the motive of true biblical chastening involves the purest form of love. This means that chastening does not merely benefit the one implementing the chastening, but takes place for the good of the one chastened.
Chastening is not merely a means of judgment implemented by the Lord for wrongdoing, but also serves as a proof of sonship. According to Hebrews 12:6, at some point in every child of God’s life, he will experience the chastening hand of the Lord. Any individual able to freely do wrong without God’s chastening should examine whether or not he is in the faith. The absence of chastening suggests that a person is not a son of God (Hebrews 12:8). Just as any good father will not allow his son to get away with wrongdoing, God the Father does not allow His children to do wrong without suffering the consequences of such actions. Chastisement may be delayed, but it is inevitable.
In the most basic sense, punishment is directed toward those who have done wrong. Though any particular punishment may seem harsh by those receiving the punishment, God intended it to be a calculated response toward wrongdoing. Though there are some passages in the Old Testament that indicate punishment was directed toward the people of God (Ezra 9:13; Hosea 12:2), the vast majority of references demonstrate that it was intended for the enemies of God (Psalm 149:7; Proverbs 11:21; Isaiah 10:12; Isaiah 13:11; Isaiah 24:21; Isaiah 26:21; Isaiah 27:1; Jeremiah 25:12; Jeremiah 46:25). A careful study of the New Testament will strengthen the distinction as there are no references to God punishing His people.
Chastening is best associated to a parent-child relationship (Deuteronomy 8:5; 2 Samuel 7:14; Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 19:18; Hebrews 12:6-8). As such, God’s chastening, at least within the New Testament, is only intended for those He calls His sons (1 John 3:2). God chastens His children, not to administer justice, but to strengthen and correct them. The believer does not receive some type of punishment from the Lord resulting from the believer’s sins because these sins have been completely atoned through the shed blood of Christ. However, the saint’s continued practice of sin requires the chastening hand of the Lord in order to conform him into the image of Christ. While chastening is reserved exclusively for sons, a lost man receives only punishment or salvation.
Every Christian is called to be a servant of the Lord toward others. In this service, God specifically instructs us how to serve in the right way and with the right spirit. The Bible shows us that God’s servants should be “gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient.” Additionally, believers should instruct in meekness “those that oppose themselves.” Unfortunately, God’s people often struggle with balance and overcompensate or undercompensate in their dealings with the lost or the backslidden. For instance, Christians sometimes allow the wicked to gain control when they fail to respond. Those who do speak up sometimes oppose their adversaries with a vengeful anger. Neither extreme follows God's precepts. As God’s servants, we are to respond to others in God’s behalf using His methods. God desires to give the lost and the backslidden “repentance to the acknowledging of the truth” so “that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will.” We should strive to assist in bringing about God's desired outcomes.
The Bible describes the Corinthian Church as carnal. In fact, some of the believers at Corinth had become puffed up that Paul was not personally coming to visit them. Instead, the apostle Paul sent Timothy to the church of God at Corinth with words of warning. Paul informed them that he could come to them with the rod of judgment or “in love, and in the spirit of meekness.” Paul strongly believed in dealing with wayward believers in the spirit of meekness. He expressed as much in Galatians 6:1 when he wrote: “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.” Paul favoured restoration and believed that responding in love and meekness was generally the best avenue for that restoration. Often, the prideful response of those who should be reacting spiritually toward wayward believers simply drives these believers further away from God.
Many people view meekness as an inherent weakness, yet the Bible corrects this faulty notion. The ability to demonstrate meekness in a time of ridicule or persecution displays strength. Today's passage reveals that a man slow to anger is “better than the mighty.” In fact, a man that “ruleth his spirit” is better than a military conqueror who “taketh a city.” Rather than a weakness, the ability to demonstrate meekness is a sign of great strength. The Bible declares that the Lord Jesus Christ was meek (Matthew 11:29); yet He simultaneously held the world together “by the word of His power” (Hebrews 1:3). We see that God referred to Moses as meek, yet he had the power through the Lord to part the Red Sea (Exodus 14:21) and to open the earth and swallow his enemies (Numbers 16:28-34). Weak individuals respond in anger when attacked; those who are strong exercise meekness.