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Far too often what is done in the home under the guise of chastening is far from God’s scriptural pattern of discipline. This is nothing new. According to Hebrews 12:10, the Jewish fathers were guilty of chastening their children “after their own pleasure.” Two major problems commonly surface in the discipline implemented in the home: (1) the reason for correction and (2) the motive in correction. According to God’s pattern, parents should never discipline their children because of an annoyance but because of a direct violation of a known law. This is God’s way and should be the consistent practice of godly parents. In addition to this, godly parents should follow God’s pattern and chasten in love for the sake of the child.
God designed and intended for biblical chastening to have righteousness as its intended outcome. Recipients of chastening may find the process grievous, but “afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” The process may not be at all enjoyable or peaceable, yet the Bible affirms that the outcome is peace. A careful look at the word chasten provides this insight. The root word for chasten is the word chaste. The end goal for those being chastened is that they would become chaste. Chastening is intended to be a purification process that corrects the wrongs for which it was initially implemented. It always leaves the recipient that endures the chastening a stronger and purer person than before the process began.
One who has little understanding of chastening might suggest that God’s chastening is an act born of hatred, but it actually represents an overflowing love from the heart of God. God expresses His motives for chastening His children in Hebrews 12:6 when He says, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.” Again in Revelation 3:19 the Lord says, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.” This again displays a distinction between punishment and chastening. The source of punishment could be construed as anger, justice, or wrath, but the motive of true biblical chastening involves the purest form of love. This means that chastening does not merely benefit the one implementing the chastening, but takes place for the good of the one chastened.
Chastening is not merely a means of judgment implemented by the Lord for wrongdoing, but also serves as a proof of sonship. According to Hebrews 12:6, at some point in every child of God’s life, he will experience the chastening hand of the Lord. Any individual able to freely do wrong without God’s chastening should examine whether or not he is in the faith. The absence of chastening suggests that a person is not a son of God (Hebrews 12:8). Just as any good father will not allow his son to get away with wrongdoing, God the Father does not allow His children to do wrong without suffering the consequences of such actions. Chastisement may be delayed, but it is inevitable.
In the most basic sense, punishment is directed toward those who have done wrong. Though any particular punishment may seem harsh by those receiving the punishment, God intended it to be a calculated response toward wrongdoing. Though there are some passages in the Old Testament that indicate punishment was directed toward the people of God (Ezra 9:13; Hosea 12:2), the vast majority of references demonstrate that it was intended for the enemies of God (Psalm 149:7; Proverbs 11:21; Isaiah 10:12; Isaiah 13:11; Isaiah 24:21; Isaiah 26:21; Isaiah 27:1; Jeremiah 25:12; Jeremiah 46:25). A careful study of the New Testament will strengthen the distinction as there are no references to God punishing His people.
Chastening is best associated to a parent-child relationship (Deuteronomy 8:5; 2 Samuel 7:14; Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 19:18; Hebrews 12:6-8). As such, God’s chastening, at least within the New Testament, is only intended for those He calls His sons (1 John 3:2). God chastens His children, not to administer justice, but to strengthen and correct them. The believer does not receive some type of punishment from the Lord resulting from the believer’s sins because these sins have been completely atoned through the shed blood of Christ. However, the saint’s continued practice of sin requires the chastening hand of the Lord in order to conform him into the image of Christ. While chastening is reserved exclusively for sons, a lost man receives only punishment or salvation.
In a world filled with competition and pride, the peacemaker is often wrongly accused of being unable to handle the conflict or the fight. This is why many people consider backing down from strife a sign of weakness. Once again, God and man are at complete opposite ends of the spectrum. While many men consider it commendable to continue strife, God thinks it honourable to cease from strife. In other words, the greater man or woman brings conflict to a close rather than further instigating it. According to the Bible, it is a fool who continues to meddle in hopes of prolonging the conflict. It is up to each believer to determine whether to accept God’s way or man’s way of thinking.
No doubt about it: the world is full of problems. Every day, people choose to say and do things that they should not say or do. Their actions contain all of the necessary ingredients for strife. The Bible says a wrathful man looks for the possibility of strife and does whatever necessary to stir it up (Proverbs 15:18). Why does he do this? The Bible points out that he is proud of heart (Proverbs 28:25) and full of hatred (Proverbs 10:12). The Bible further describes this work in Proverbs 26:20-21 where it says, “Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth. As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.” A contentious man seeks to rekindle the flames as he notices the fires of strife beginning to be extinguished.
During Bible times, even the average individual understood a great deal concerning agriculture. This meant that the laws of sowing and reaping were quite familiar to them. They understood that sowing seed was done in hopes of reaping a harvest of that which was sown. Today’s passage explains that the froward man chooses to sow strife. In other words, there are some in society who look for strife and where it does not exist, they will sow the seeds of strife so that it sprouts even where it did not originally exist. Why would they do this? Some people revel in seeing the fruits of arguments, wars, strife, envy, debate, and other such things. The froward man simply finds a way to instigate problems and exploit situations by creating lies or exaggerations to accomplish his sordid purposes.
Understanding man’s true nature makes today’s verse understandable and comprehensible. Ignoring the true reality of man’s constitution will lead the reader to refuse this Bible truth. Surely no man, woman, boy, or girl would love strife! Strife seems to be contrary to something we would deem lovable. After all, the Bible likens strife to the bars of a castle (Proverbs 18:19), creating a prison for some and an impossible barrier for others. It is birthed through pride (Proverbs 13:10) and harms those most innocent (Exodus 21:22-25). With these thoughts in mind, how could anyone love strife? The answer is quite simple. Man’s flesh desires to rebel against the laws of God. It finds pleasure in transgression and satisfaction in displeasing the Lord. So man, although aware of strife’s downfalls and pitfalls, craves strife and the resultant conflict.