Understanding man’s true nature makes today’s verse understandable and comprehensible. Ignoring the true reality of man’s constitution will lead the reader to refuse this Bible truth. Surely no man, woman, boy, or girl would love strife! Strife seems to be contrary to something we would deem lovable. After all, the Bible likens strife to the bars of a castle (Proverbs 18:19), creating a prison for some and an impossible barrier for others. It is birthed through pride (Proverbs 13:10) and harms those most innocent (Exodus 21:22-25). With these thoughts in mind, how could anyone love strife? The answer is quite simple. Man’s flesh desires to rebel against the laws of God. It finds pleasure in transgression and satisfaction in displeasing the Lord. So man, although aware of strife’s downfalls and pitfalls, craves strife and the resultant conflict.
In Bible times, the greatest form of defence for a city was to remain strong and surrounded by high walls. If a people group or nation had high walls and a strong city, they were extremely difficult to conquer. During these times, the barriers were imperative for a strong national defense. The Lord considered this scenario as an appropriate picture to demonstrate the state of an offended brother, resulting from contention. The Lord likens this contention to the bars on a castle. Even if the enemy were capable of getting into the strong city, other obstacles existed making it impossible to break through to its core. These included the bars erected to avoid someone from entering the castle. In like manner, contention makes it almost impossible to break through to the heart of an offended brother.
Very few people understand the simplicity involved in cultivating true friendships. In fact, far too many people emphasize the wrong factors when considering how to make friends. They look at one's appearance or charisma and attribute it as the key to making friends. Yet, the Bible points out a simple process as the key for gaining true friends. The one who makes friends simply must first “shew himself friendly.” Unapproachable people remain lonely and tend to miss out on much of what life has to offer. Those who struggle making friends should examine themselves to see whether or not they truly display themselves as friendly or more standoffish. People generally refuse to put forth the extra effort to get to know those who come across unwelcoming. People want to make friends with those who are approachable and there is no better way to make yourself approachable than to show yourself friendly. If a man does not appear to be friendly, others will pass him in their quest to cultivate lasting relationships.
Some people seem unable to function without daily interaction with friends. Yet, others think such attachments overbearing and far too demanding. Unfortunately, the world frequently misconstrues what constitutes true friendship. Additionally, far too many times, friends abuse this important relationship. Social media sites even refer to one's mere acquaintances as “friends.” No wonder the world remains so confused concerning the essence of true biblical friendship. Regardless of one’s perspective on these matters, the Bible points out that there is One friend that man cannot do without and He is “a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). This could simply refer to people who have friends more loyal than those in one's own family, but likely references the Lord. His level of commitment causes Him to be a friend to those deemed unlovable by the world. Simply consider what the Bible says about His sacrifice. Christ died on the cross for His enemies (Romans 5:10) so that they could become His friends (John 15:13-15). Truly, He is that “friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
