Even though God’s motive and desired outcome of chastening both prove to be a blessing to believers, believers do not always react properly to the chastening hand of the Lord. Some respond to God’s chastening by becoming bitter against the Lord, frustrated that they are reaping what they have sown. Others respond by becoming weary from the pressures of the process of chastening. Yet others might respond by running away from the things of God once they realize that God wants them to grow beyond their present level of Christianity. None of these are the proper reaction to chastening. The only proper response to chastening is given in Revelation 3:19: “be zealous therefore, and repent.”
One who has little understanding of chastening might suggest that God’s chastening is an act born of hatred, but it actually represents an overflowing love from the heart of God. God expresses His motives for chastening His children in Hebrews 12:6 when He says, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.” Again in Revelation 3:19 the Lord says, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.” This again displays a distinction between punishment and chastening. The source of punishment could be construed as anger, justice, or wrath, but the motive of true biblical chastening involves the purest form of love. This means that chastening does not merely benefit the one implementing the chastening, but takes place for the good of the one chastened.
Earthly parents sometimes chasten their children according to their own pleasure, but the Lord chastens His children ONLY for their profiting. In addition, earthly parents will sometimes err by disciplining their children for convenience to end the child’s inconvenience brought upon the parent. The end goal turns out to be the satisfaction of the parent rather than the sole good of the child. However, in God’s dealings with His children, He chastens for the benefit of the one receiving the chastening. He uses His chastening to help make His children partakers of His holiness. When they have done wrong, He wants them to repent (Revelation 3:19). When they have gone astray, He wants them to find correction (Job 5:17). God, as a Father, always chooses to do what is best for His children. It is always exclusively for their profit!
In the most basic sense, punishment is directed toward those who have done wrong. Though any particular punishment may seem harsh by those receiving the punishment, God intended it to be a calculated response toward wrongdoing. Though there are some passages in the Old Testament that indicate punishment was directed toward the people of God (Ezra 9:13; Hosea 12:2), the vast majority of references demonstrate that it was intended for the enemies of God (Psalm 149:7; Proverbs 11:21; Isaiah 10:12; Isaiah 13:11; Isaiah 24:21; Isaiah 26:21; Isaiah 27:1; Jeremiah 25:12; Jeremiah 46:25). A careful study of the New Testament will strengthen the distinction as there are no references to God punishing His people.
God often allows problems to enter people’s lives in order to facilitate His initial plans. For example, God had already expressed His desire to Abram for him to separate from his kindred. For various reasons, Abram had not obeyed God up until this point. In order to bring about God’s desired will, He allowed conflict to enter between the herdmen of Abram and those of Lot. The solution to this unnecessary conflict was quite simple. Abram suggested that they part ways (God’s initial plan) and Abram turned toward the land of Canaan (God’s initial plan). The Lord used the same tactic in the early church to get them to spread out and to preach His word outside of Jerusalem (see Acts 1:8 and Acts 8:1).
The Bible has much to say concerning the dangers of improper family relationships. “There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother” (Proverbs 30:11). “The son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother” (Micah 7:6), “the eye . . . mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother” (Proverbs 30:17). Yet, the first commandment with promise was to “honour thy father and mother” (Ephesians 6:1-2). This honour can be demonstrated by hearkening to (Proverbs 23:22) and obeying one’s parents (Colossians 3:20). As parents seek the Lord’s direction, God will lead them as to how to lead their individual homes (Ezra 8:21). The child’s responsibility is directed toward submitting to and learning of the Lord by obeying the parents.
The Lord gave specific commandments to both the husband and the wife. The Lord, knowing that man’s foremost love was, by nature, himself, commanded the man to “love” his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Additionally, the Lord, knowing that a woman would not naturally desire to submit, commanded the wife to submit to her own husband, as unto the Lord. This does not suggest that she only goes along with her husband so long as she agrees with his decisions, neither does it mean that she can never offer input into the decision-making process. But, in the end, she follows her husband’s leading, trusting the Lord to bless her faithfulness.
The Bible shows us that even heathen kings know it is proper for a woman to honour her husband. Some might suggest that because these words were spoken by a heathen, the reader should discount them, but these truths are supported elsewhere in scripture. For instance, Ephesians 5:33 says that the wife is to reverence her husband. Sara honoured Abraham, even to the point of calling him lord (1 Peter 3:6). Even Abigail, who had a husband that was a man of Belial, honoured her husband when she kept David from ending Nabal’s life (1 Samuel 25:23-33). A woman who honours her husband honours the Lord. She does so because the Lord commands it, not because her husband necessarily deserves her honour.
A normal man naturally desires to protect what God has given to him. Jacob was not always the best example of godliness, but he had the right desire to protect his family from harm. The Bible reveals to us how he reacted when he could see his brother Esau approaching. Unsure of how this reunion might disintegrate into harm, Jacob divided his family with the most precious at the rear. As his family’s protector, Jacob led the caravan. If there was going to be trouble, he would have an opportunity to intervene offering his family an opportunity to flee for safety. According to Ephesians 5:25, a man’s protection should include a willingness to lay down his life for his wife. A godly man will always intercede between his home and the impending danger.
As the head of the home, the man bares the responsibility for the biblical training of every individual within his home. Yet, many homes today have no man in them. Regardless of society’s disintegration, there is never a time when the man ever relinquishes his accountability to God as the spiritual leader of his home. In today’s passage, we read of Abraham bearing his personal responsibility. According to God’s testimony, Abraham bore that responsibility well. The Lord testified that Abraham would command his children and household after him. Abraham’s family would keep the way of the LORD and would do justice and judgment. Unfortunately, the same cannot be expressed for far too many modern Christian homes. In fact, church pews are overflowing with faithful women while their men are absentee husbands expressing little to no interest in the things of God.
