Friendships generally develop around some type of common ground or linked association. These activities can be either good or bad, righteous or wicked. Pilate and Herod are prime examples of the wrong kind of relationship nurtured through a sinful association. Before they joined forces against the Son of God, they “were at enmity between themselves.” The word enmity reveals that they not only were not friends, but actually disdained each other to the point of being enemies. Nothing could repair this breach until they joined together in the trial of the Saviour. Standing together against Jesus Christ repaired this relationship and created an unholy association. On that day, they found common ground by uniting together in mockery of the Son of God. The Bible speaks of a future time when, “The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD” (Psalm 2:2). Earthly kings rarely get along unless they find a common interest or benefit. Far too often, these rulers find themselves in an unholy alliance rather than a holy one.
Good friends are a tremendous blessing to be nurtured and treasured. Yet, friendships are to have certain God-ordained limitations. The wrong kinds of friends and inappropriate associations have led many people away from the truth and astray from God. The Bible provides detailed instructions to help people avoid any relationship that tends to lead to rebellion against God. Although these instructions were explicitly given while Israel remained under the Law of God, they forever reveal God's feelings toward those who would lead someone away from Him. Just as it was instructed of the Israelites, men today should never consent nor hearken to those who seek to lure them astray (Deuteronomy 13:8). In refusing to listen to those individuals, a believer should never feel guilt or pity the so-called friend, but rather find joy from making the right decision.
Few men, if any, have been afflicted like Job. His troubles involved the catastrophic loss of family members as well as physical ailments beyond most people's ability to endure. During the depths of these difficult trials, Job's three “friends” (Job 2:11) visited him. They showed up to comfort him but instead turned out to be additional sources of grief. Each word spoken by his friends seemed to compound his already miserable condition and circumstances. Job did not consider this to be the work of a friend and told them that, “To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend.” Later in the same chapter, Job said that his friends dug a pit for him (Job 6:27). Job’s friends should have shown him pity during his troublesome times instead of scorning (Job 16:20) and abhorring him (Job 19:19). True friends know how to comfort and console their friends as they experience trouble and pain in life. They certainly do not unrighteously judge and condemn.
Life presents many troubles that at times make it difficult to stand strong in the Christian walk. Standing alone makes it seem nigh impossible. Perhaps this is why God created friendships. The most precious times amongst spiritually-minded friends often take place when one of them finds himself in need. Far too many Christians stumble and fall spiritually because they have no one offering support and encouragement. True Christian friends are a help when those troublesome times arise. A true Christian friend encourages and strengthens his friend before he hits his lowest point and contemplates quitting. The heartbeat of Ecclesiastes 4:7-10 reveals that it is hard to serve the Lord alone. Yet serving Him with Christian friends provides extra strength in times of weakness and despair. A friend may be there to lift his brother up one day only to find the act of kindness reciprocated on another occasion.
Many people have so-called friends, but oftentimes these friendships are built upon weak support structures. Yet, testing the true depths of one's friendships can be quite challenging. The previous lesson pointed to the ease of making friends by showing yourself friendly. Yet, too many people focus on using material means to gain friendships. Money can buy friends but there remains that doubt concerning the true foundation of those relationships. The Bible teaches that “wealth maketh many friends” (Proverbs 19:4). This truth is further emphasized in Proverbs 14:20 where the Bible says, “the rich hath many friends.” This fact remains ever more prevalent as the days go on. Those who are rich will have many “friends,” while those who are poor have far fewer close associations. Unfortunately, “Every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts” (Proverbs 19:6). As long as there is money or gifts to be given, people will have “friends”; but as soon as the money runs out, the “friends” will be gone too. True friendships, however, may be gained by showing yourself friendly and will be cultivated through righteousness.
Very few people understand the simplicity involved in cultivating true friendships. In fact, far too many people emphasize the wrong factors when considering how to make friends. They look at one's appearance or charisma and attribute it as the key to making friends. Yet, the Bible points out a simple process as the key for gaining true friends. The one who makes friends simply must first “shew himself friendly.” Unapproachable people remain lonely and tend to miss out on much of what life has to offer. Those who struggle making friends should examine themselves to see whether or not they truly display themselves as friendly or more standoffish. People generally refuse to put forth the extra effort to get to know those who come across unwelcoming. People want to make friends with those who are approachable and there is no better way to make yourself approachable than to show yourself friendly. If a man does not appear to be friendly, others will pass him in their quest to cultivate lasting relationships.
Unfortunately, true lasting friendships seem increasingly difficult to cultivate and nurture in today's fast paced world. Yet, the interactions associated to true friendships remain important and healthy. There are many traits that define true friendships. Today's passage points out one of the primary features that constitute a true friend: “A friend loveth at all times.” This love is not to be confused with being dishonest in hopes of protecting the feelings of a friend. In fact, a true friend will offer a needed rebuke. This is why the Bible says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). True friends never allow current circumstances to determine the level of commitment to a relationship. A true friend will remain faithful when all others have betrayed or departed. This test of friendship has been the proving ground for many friends throughout the history of mankind. One need look no further than the prodigal son for evidence of such (Luke 15:11-24).
Some people seem unable to function without daily interaction with friends. Yet, others think such attachments overbearing and far too demanding. Unfortunately, the world frequently misconstrues what constitutes true friendship. Additionally, far too many times, friends abuse this important relationship. Social media sites even refer to one's mere acquaintances as “friends.” No wonder the world remains so confused concerning the essence of true biblical friendship. Regardless of one’s perspective on these matters, the Bible points out that there is One friend that man cannot do without and He is “a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). This could simply refer to people who have friends more loyal than those in one's own family, but likely references the Lord. His level of commitment causes Him to be a friend to those deemed unlovable by the world. Simply consider what the Bible says about His sacrifice. Christ died on the cross for His enemies (Romans 5:10) so that they could become His friends (John 15:13-15). Truly, He is that “friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
The church of God at Corinth offered the apostle Paul some type of support which he refused to receive from them. The Bible does not tell us whether Paul's actions toward this church were appropriate. However, we do know that Paul admitted the possibility that he could have been wrong and asked for their forgiveness in the matter. We are not informed exactly why he asked for their forgiveness, but the Bible simply states that he might have wronged these believers. Paul wrote more books of the Bible than anyone else and was not “behind the very chiefest apostles” (2 Corinthians 12:11). Yet, he did not use his vaunted position or noted authority to avoid responsibility for his actions. Instead, he sought forgiveness from these carnal Corinthians. Believers today should likewise follow the apostle Paul's example of seeking forgiveness from those whom they have wronged or even those possibly wronged. Who is right or wrong lacks relevance when it comes to one's relationship with fellow believers no matter the position or station in life!
The two epistles addressed to the Corinthian church clearly highlight many of the problems associated with the carnal church of Corinth. Today's passage specifically deals with the restoration of those who had fallen into sin. All church discipline, though frequently neglected, should initially focus on the restoration of the individual rather than his simple condemnation. In fact, Galatians 6:1 instructs spiritual believers to consider themselves by restoring “such an one in the spirit of meekness.” Unfortunately, people oftentimes seem to glory in the judgment aspect of discipline while diminishing or completely neglecting the joys involved with the restoration of the individual into fellowship. Careful attention to the wording of 2 Corinthians 2:7 reveals two important aspects of this church discipline: believers “ought” to forgive; and additionally believers ought “rather” to forgive. Unlike those who are quick to condemn, the Bible emphasizes forgiveness rather than the punishment aspects of discipline.
