The death of someone is a sorrowful event, but much more so for those who do not know God (the lost). Believers, on the other hand, understand that the separation of death is only temporary. For this reason, believers should find much hope after losing a loved one who knew the Lord. This loss serves as another reminder to look forward to the joys of heaven awaiting God’s people. The scenario is much different for the lost. When a lost person loses a loved one, there is no reason for hope. If the departed loved one was saved, no hope for a reunion is both real and anticipated; however, if the loved one was never saved, hell will not be a place for any joyous reunions. It is terrible to witness others lose loved ones to death without the wonderful hope offered by God to His children.
In Bible times, the mourning process often included a time of lamentation. Although lamentations were diverse, scripture points to a time set aside for speaking about the deceased. Today’s passage shows that David lamented the passing of Saul and Jonathan. He spoke positively about their efforts in battle (2 Samuel 1:25), their usefulness to Israel (2 Samuel 1:24), and their beauty (2 Samuel 1:23). Apparently, part of the healing process includes speaking of those who have departed. Perhaps it would lead to rejoicing in the good memories and crying at the mention of sad times. Regardless, it is clear that talking about the deceased helps those still alive in a time of mourning.
When a loved one passes away, mourning serves as an important part of the healing process. However, believers should never sorrow in the same fashion as the world (1 Thessalonians 4:13), yet mourning is acceptable and proper when grieving the death of someone. In Bible times, people seemed to take mourning very seriously. In fact, the initial mourning period at times was quite lengthy (Genesis 50:3; Numbers 20:29; Deuteronomy 34:8). There were even people whose purpose it was to assist in the mourning of those departed (Jeremiah 9:17). Grieving is a natural part of man’s process in dealing with the loss of loved ones. Failure to give time to properly mourn often prolongs the process and hinders the individual from dealing with the loss.
Man is made up of three parts: spirit, soul, and body. Death takes place when the soul (Genesis 35:18) and the spirit (Genesis 25:8) leave the body. This event happens to everyone regardless of the individual’s spiritual state at death. Saved or lost, a person’s spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 3:21; Ecclesiastes 12:7). However, the soul’s destination is based upon whether or not a person has trusted Jesus Christ as Saviour during this life. There exists no midpoint between earth and heaven (or hell) to purge one’s sins, including places invented by religions to do so. For a saved person, the Bible declares that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). Unfortunately for the lost, this same outcome is not true. Following death, the Bible reveals that the lost man’s soul immediately goes to hell (Luke 16:23).
One of the more difficult things any individual faces in this life involves watching loved ones suffer. Yet, this life is filled with suffering and death. David witnessed just such a tragedy when his child became ill and eventually died. While the child was alive, David implored the Lord for the child’s recovery. No doubt, he was asking God to heal the child and restore health. In addition to praying for the child, David fasted and wept for the life of his newborn. In the end, the Lord decided to take the child. David understood that he could not bring the child back but would one day go to where the child already was. As soon as the child passed, David refocused upon living. He ceased praying for the child and began to comfort his grieving wife.
The Bible says that “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34). This means that the words proceeding out of our mouths originate in our hearts. When we speak bitter words, it is because there is bitterness within our hearts. David likened bitter words to arrows that pierce the flesh (Psalm 64:3). Our words ought to be “seasoned with salt” (Colossians 4:6); instead, we often allow our words to pierce through others. We tear people down rather than building them up. Why is this? Because we have a root of bitterness growing inside that finds its way from our hearts into and out of our mouths. Those who demean others generally do so because they are bitter. Attempts to justify this behaviour are fruitless because the Lord knows the root of the problem stems from our heart.
The believer is to allow no place for bitterness within his life. The book of Ephesians directly associates bitterness with the sins of wrath, anger, clamour, evil speaking, and malice. Each of these sins grieves the Spirit of God and ought to grieve the believer. As such, Christians are admonished to put away all bitterness. As bitterness shows itself in the depths of our hearts, we ought to immediately seek the Lord and plead for His help in removing it by its root. In a similar passage (Colossians 3:8), we are admonished to “put off” many of these other sins mentioned. Always keep in mind that bitterness does not edify the believer or those around him, nor does it glorify the Lord. Simply choose to obey God by putting away and putting off bitterness.
The Bible repeatedly mentions the bitterness of soul (1 Samuel 1:10; Job 3:20; Job 7:11; Job 10:1; Job 21:25; Isaiah 38:15). Job testified to speaking in the bitterness of his soul—weary of his life (Job 10:1). Hannah “was in bitterness of soul” (1 Samuel 1:10) when she spoke to the Lord concerning her desire to birth a son. Interestingly, the Book of Job contains the majority of references to bitterness of soul. It is hard to imagine any mortal man enduring more afflictions of the soul than Job. He was afflicted so deeply, he cursed the day that he was born (Job 3:1). Eventually, his bitterness of soul won out and caused him to sin against the Lord. Hannah, however, spoke to the Lord in bitterness of soul and God rewarded her for her faithfulness.
Bitterness grows from within man much like the root of a plant. If left alone to fester, bitterness will eventually spring up; and when it does, it will “trouble you.” Unfortunately, bitterness is not frequently identified during its infancy. It hides inside the individual with little evidence of its existence. As time passes, our enemies (the world, the flesh, and the devil) feed that bitterness and it begins to spring forth. As it does, it may begin to alarm or even shock us. For instance, we may yell at someone for no apparent reason. Something insignificant can even ruin our entire day. If we are not careful, we can grow increasingly comfortable with our newfound trouble and attitude. As alluded to in the scripture, the solution for bitterness can be likened to the removal of a plant by its roots. Bitterness continues to grow unless removed at its source – from the roots.
A good Bible student often incorporates many of the same tactics as a good detective. Defining Bible words involves such a task. No single verse specifically defines the word bitterness. Yet, a careful study of a few verses will help to bring the pieces together and to provide understanding. According to Isaiah, bitterness and peace are at opposite ends of the emotional spectrum (Isaiah 38:17). Proverbs associates the word bitter directly to the word sharp (Proverbs 5:4). And, lastly, the word bitter is connected to the word affliction (2 Kings 14:26, Lamentations 1:4). Using these scriptural clues, a good student will understand bitterness to be a sharp affliction. Additionally, consider the connection between the words bitter and bite, making bitterness a sharp affliction with bite. Bitterness always begins on the inside of an individual and, as we will learn, eventually works its way to the outside for others to see.
