The death of someone is a sorrowful event, but much more so for those who do not know God (the lost). Believers, on the other hand, understand that the separation of death is only temporary. For this reason, believers should find much hope after losing a loved one who knew the Lord. This loss serves as another reminder to look forward to the joys of heaven awaiting God’s people. The scenario is much different for the lost. When a lost person loses a loved one, there is no reason for hope. If the departed loved one was saved, no hope for a reunion is both real and anticipated; however, if the loved one was never saved, hell will not be a place for any joyous reunions. It is terrible to witness others lose loved ones to death without the wonderful hope offered by God to His children.
In Bible times, the mourning process often included a time of lamentation. Although lamentations were diverse, scripture points to a time set aside for speaking about the deceased. Today’s passage shows that David lamented the passing of Saul and Jonathan. He spoke positively about their efforts in battle (2 Samuel 1:25), their usefulness to Israel (2 Samuel 1:24), and their beauty (2 Samuel 1:23). Apparently, part of the healing process includes speaking of those who have departed. Perhaps it would lead to rejoicing in the good memories and crying at the mention of sad times. Regardless, it is clear that talking about the deceased helps those still alive in a time of mourning.
When a loved one passes away, mourning serves as an important part of the healing process. However, believers should never sorrow in the same fashion as the world (1 Thessalonians 4:13), yet mourning is acceptable and proper when grieving the death of someone. In Bible times, people seemed to take mourning very seriously. In fact, the initial mourning period at times was quite lengthy (Genesis 50:3; Numbers 20:29; Deuteronomy 34:8). There were even people whose purpose it was to assist in the mourning of those departed (Jeremiah 9:17). Grieving is a natural part of man’s process in dealing with the loss of loved ones. Failure to give time to properly mourn often prolongs the process and hinders the individual from dealing with the loss.
Man is made up of three parts: spirit, soul, and body. Death takes place when the soul (Genesis 35:18) and the spirit (Genesis 25:8) leave the body. This event happens to everyone regardless of the individual’s spiritual state at death. Saved or lost, a person’s spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 3:21; Ecclesiastes 12:7). However, the soul’s destination is based upon whether or not a person has trusted Jesus Christ as Saviour during this life. There exists no midpoint between earth and heaven (or hell) to purge one’s sins, including places invented by religions to do so. For a saved person, the Bible declares that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). Unfortunately for the lost, this same outcome is not true. Following death, the Bible reveals that the lost man’s soul immediately goes to hell (Luke 16:23).
One of the more difficult things any individual faces in this life involves watching loved ones suffer. Yet, this life is filled with suffering and death. David witnessed just such a tragedy when his child became ill and eventually died. While the child was alive, David implored the Lord for the child’s recovery. No doubt, he was asking God to heal the child and restore health. In addition to praying for the child, David fasted and wept for the life of his newborn. In the end, the Lord decided to take the child. David understood that he could not bring the child back but would one day go to where the child already was. As soon as the child passed, David refocused upon living. He ceased praying for the child and began to comfort his grieving wife.
Even since the Garden in Eden, God never intended for man to consider Him to be distant or unapproachable. In fact, the Bible repeatedly points out the opposite scenario. God's word proclaims that the Lord did not merely claim His followers as servants, but referred to them as His friends! He specifically referred to Abraham as the "friend of God" (2 Chronicles 20:7; James 2:23). He spoke to Moses “face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend” (Exodus 33:11). These are not the actions of a God who desires separation from His creation. Though this intimate association with God seems remote and only expressed on a few occasions, John points out that we too can be God's friends (if we obey Him). This friendship must be based on mutual grounds because those who love the Lord are never lovers of the world. James 4:4 points out that “friendship of the world is enmity with God.” Though it appears that few people were called the friend of God, John chapter 15 suggests that this honour is much more prevalent than would appear. Christ told His followers, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you” (John 15:14). Furthermore, Christ laid down His life for His friends (John 15:13).
The Lord healed many people during His earthly ministry. Today's passage speaks of a particular man who had been delivered from devil possession. What a relief he must have experienced! However, the people in his community did not rejoice that the Lord had performed such a wonderful miracle. In fact, they turned against the Saviour and wanted Him to depart from their coasts. The Lord complied with their demands; however, the man delivered of the devils wanted to travel with the Lord. He loved the Lord so much that he wanted to stay close to Him. However, as the healed man sought to enter the ship, Christ told him to return to his home and tell his friends what had happened to him. The Lord knew that this man was in the best position to reach out to his friends with the truth. He knew this man's testimony concerning the truth was what they needed to hear and believe. Christians should always be prepared and ready for times when opportunities arise to tell their friends about the truth. Acts chapter 10 records another example when Cornelius called his friends together expecting to hear Simon Peter preach the truth of the gospel. Real friends insure that their friends are put into a position to hear the truth and never squander spiritual opportunities.
Friendships generally develop around some type of common ground or linked association. These activities can be either good or bad, righteous or wicked. Pilate and Herod are prime examples of the wrong kind of relationship nurtured through a sinful association. Before they joined forces against the Son of God, they “were at enmity between themselves.” The word enmity reveals that they not only were not friends, but actually disdained each other to the point of being enemies. Nothing could repair this breach until they joined together in the trial of the Saviour. Standing together against Jesus Christ repaired this relationship and created an unholy association. On that day, they found common ground by uniting together in mockery of the Son of God. The Bible speaks of a future time when, “The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD” (Psalm 2:2). Earthly kings rarely get along unless they find a common interest or benefit. Far too often, these rulers find themselves in an unholy alliance rather than a holy one.
Good friends are a tremendous blessing to be nurtured and treasured. Yet, friendships are to have certain God-ordained limitations. The wrong kinds of friends and inappropriate associations have led many people away from the truth and astray from God. The Bible provides detailed instructions to help people avoid any relationship that tends to lead to rebellion against God. Although these instructions were explicitly given while Israel remained under the Law of God, they forever reveal God's feelings toward those who would lead someone away from Him. Just as it was instructed of the Israelites, men today should never consent nor hearken to those who seek to lure them astray (Deuteronomy 13:8). In refusing to listen to those individuals, a believer should never feel guilt or pity the so-called friend, but rather find joy from making the right decision.
Few men, if any, have been afflicted like Job. His troubles involved the catastrophic loss of family members as well as physical ailments beyond most people's ability to endure. During the depths of these difficult trials, Job's three “friends” (Job 2:11) visited him. They showed up to comfort him but instead turned out to be additional sources of grief. Each word spoken by his friends seemed to compound his already miserable condition and circumstances. Job did not consider this to be the work of a friend and told them that, “To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend.” Later in the same chapter, Job said that his friends dug a pit for him (Job 6:27). Job’s friends should have shown him pity during his troublesome times instead of scorning (Job 16:20) and abhorring him (Job 19:19). True friends know how to comfort and console their friends as they experience trouble and pain in life. They certainly do not unrighteously judge and condemn.
