The death of someone is a sorrowful event, but much more so for those who do not know God (the lost). Believers, on the other hand, understand that the separation of death is only temporary. For this reason, believers should find much hope after losing a loved one who knew the Lord. This loss serves as another reminder to look forward to the joys of heaven awaiting God’s people. The scenario is much different for the lost. When a lost person loses a loved one, there is no reason for hope. If the departed loved one was saved, no hope for a reunion is both real and anticipated; however, if the loved one was never saved, hell will not be a place for any joyous reunions. It is terrible to witness others lose loved ones to death without the wonderful hope offered by God to His children.
In Bible times, the mourning process often included a time of lamentation. Although lamentations were diverse, scripture points to a time set aside for speaking about the deceased. Today’s passage shows that David lamented the passing of Saul and Jonathan. He spoke positively about their efforts in battle (2 Samuel 1:25), their usefulness to Israel (2 Samuel 1:24), and their beauty (2 Samuel 1:23). Apparently, part of the healing process includes speaking of those who have departed. Perhaps it would lead to rejoicing in the good memories and crying at the mention of sad times. Regardless, it is clear that talking about the deceased helps those still alive in a time of mourning.
When a loved one passes away, mourning serves as an important part of the healing process. However, believers should never sorrow in the same fashion as the world (1 Thessalonians 4:13), yet mourning is acceptable and proper when grieving the death of someone. In Bible times, people seemed to take mourning very seriously. In fact, the initial mourning period at times was quite lengthy (Genesis 50:3; Numbers 20:29; Deuteronomy 34:8). There were even people whose purpose it was to assist in the mourning of those departed (Jeremiah 9:17). Grieving is a natural part of man’s process in dealing with the loss of loved ones. Failure to give time to properly mourn often prolongs the process and hinders the individual from dealing with the loss.
Man is made up of three parts: spirit, soul, and body. Death takes place when the soul (Genesis 35:18) and the spirit (Genesis 25:8) leave the body. This event happens to everyone regardless of the individual’s spiritual state at death. Saved or lost, a person’s spirit returns to God who gave it (Ecclesiastes 3:21; Ecclesiastes 12:7). However, the soul’s destination is based upon whether or not a person has trusted Jesus Christ as Saviour during this life. There exists no midpoint between earth and heaven (or hell) to purge one’s sins, including places invented by religions to do so. For a saved person, the Bible declares that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). Unfortunately for the lost, this same outcome is not true. Following death, the Bible reveals that the lost man’s soul immediately goes to hell (Luke 16:23).
One of the more difficult things any individual faces in this life involves watching loved ones suffer. Yet, this life is filled with suffering and death. David witnessed just such a tragedy when his child became ill and eventually died. While the child was alive, David implored the Lord for the child’s recovery. No doubt, he was asking God to heal the child and restore health. In addition to praying for the child, David fasted and wept for the life of his newborn. In the end, the Lord decided to take the child. David understood that he could not bring the child back but would one day go to where the child already was. As soon as the child passed, David refocused upon living. He ceased praying for the child and began to comfort his grieving wife.
What does the Bible mean when it says to “have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness”? Does this mean that believers should never speak to those who do not know Christ as Saviour? The key involves understanding Bible terminology. The word fellowship is a two part compound word. A simple Bible study of the root word fellow indicates that it involves two people working as one (John 11:16; 3 John 8); therefore fellowship involves two people being closely associated. The command for believers to avoid close association with unbelievers is further confirmed when the Bible says believers and unbelievers should not be “unequally yoked together” (2 Corinthians 6:14). When two people are yoked together, they are united in work; but the saved should never unite with the lost in such matters. More importantly, believers must never yoke up with unbelievers in God’s work (Ezra 4:3).
Separation is scriptural under a variety of different scenarios. Most commonly, believers understand that they are to separate from unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14). This does not imply that believers should not witness to the lost but that there should be no “fellowship” between the two. The Bible also indicates that there are times in which one believer should separate from another believer. Most often, this happens because of the propagation of false doctrine (Romans 16:17-18; 2 Thessalonians 3:6) or immoral practices (1 Corinthians 5:11). However, there may also be instances when believers separate for the purpose of furthering the work of God (Galatians 2:6-9).
Separation is good and a necessary aspect of the Christian walk. However, when separation becomes based upon personal conviction rather than scriptural principles, it generally leads to a false sense of holiness and hypocrisy. This takes place when Christians fail to consider the multi-faceted nature of scriptural separation. They readily recognize the scriptural command to separate from the things of this world but fail to see the first component of scriptural separation which encompasses the need for separation to be unto the Lord. The vow of the Nazarite plainly encompasses both aspects of separation. In fact, the primary aspect of biblical separation encompasses separation unto the Lord (Numbers 6:2). Once a person separates himself unto the Lord, he will naturally separate from those things of this world (Numbers 6:3).
Separation is the outcome of separation! When a nation (i.e., Israel in the Old Testament) or an individual (i.e., a believer in the New Testament) is set apart by the Lord, that nation (or person) has become disassociated with the rest of the world. Moses made this point in Exodus 33:16 when he said, “For wherein shall it be known here that I and thy people have found grace in thy sight? is it not in that thou goest with us? so shall we be separated, I and thy people, from all the people that are upon the face of the earth.” Separation is not something accomplished through diligence but occurs naturally after a person comes to know Christ as Saviour. Christians who remain attached to the world find little satisfaction with the things of the world or less appeal for the things of God.
Twenty-first century believers hold onto many misconceptions concerning the Lord’s desire for harmony. Far too many believers desire harmony at any cost. This harmony is commonly promoted on various ecumenical levels as spirituality and truth are sacrificed upon the altar of unity. Though the Lord certainly promotes unity within smaller units, He has never commanded unity in spite of diversity. All the way back to man’s earliest days, the Lord established His desire for His people to separate (read Genesis chapter 9). The only way for Noah to “replenish the earth” was for him and his seed to multiply and spread out upon the face of the earth. The people refused to divide, so we read the resulting judgment upon the world in Genesis chapter 11. The people stayed together and united to build a tower (Genesis 11:4). The Lord had other plans and divided the people by confounding their languages so that they could no longer communicate and cooperate in their godless endeavours (Genesis 11:5-8).
