Even since the Garden in Eden, God never intended for man to consider Him to be distant or unapproachable. In fact, the Bible repeatedly points out the opposite scenario. God's word proclaims that the Lord did not merely claim His followers as servants, but referred to them as His friends! He specifically referred to Abraham as the "friend of God" (2 Chronicles 20:7; James 2:23). He spoke to Moses “face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend” (Exodus 33:11). These are not the actions of a God who desires separation from His creation. Though this intimate association with God seems remote and only expressed on a few occasions, John points out that we too can be God's friends (if we obey Him). This friendship must be based on mutual grounds because those who love the Lord are never lovers of the world. James 4:4 points out that “friendship of the world is enmity with God.” Though it appears that few people were called the friend of God, John chapter 15 suggests that this honour is much more prevalent than would appear. Christ told His followers, “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you” (John 15:14). Furthermore, Christ laid down His life for His friends (John 15:13).
The Lord healed many people during His earthly ministry. Today's passage speaks of a particular man who had been delivered from devil possession. What a relief he must have experienced! However, the people in his community did not rejoice that the Lord had performed such a wonderful miracle. In fact, they turned against the Saviour and wanted Him to depart from their coasts. The Lord complied with their demands; however, the man delivered of the devils wanted to travel with the Lord. He loved the Lord so much that he wanted to stay close to Him. However, as the healed man sought to enter the ship, Christ told him to return to his home and tell his friends what had happened to him. The Lord knew that this man was in the best position to reach out to his friends with the truth. He knew this man's testimony concerning the truth was what they needed to hear and believe. Christians should always be prepared and ready for times when opportunities arise to tell their friends about the truth. Acts chapter 10 records another example when Cornelius called his friends together expecting to hear Simon Peter preach the truth of the gospel. Real friends insure that their friends are put into a position to hear the truth and never squander spiritual opportunities.
Friendships generally develop around some type of common ground or linked association. These activities can be either good or bad, righteous or wicked. Pilate and Herod are prime examples of the wrong kind of relationship nurtured through a sinful association. Before they joined forces against the Son of God, they “were at enmity between themselves.” The word enmity reveals that they not only were not friends, but actually disdained each other to the point of being enemies. Nothing could repair this breach until they joined together in the trial of the Saviour. Standing together against Jesus Christ repaired this relationship and created an unholy association. On that day, they found common ground by uniting together in mockery of the Son of God. The Bible speaks of a future time when, “The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the LORD” (Psalm 2:2). Earthly kings rarely get along unless they find a common interest or benefit. Far too often, these rulers find themselves in an unholy alliance rather than a holy one.
Good friends are a tremendous blessing to be nurtured and treasured. Yet, friendships are to have certain God-ordained limitations. The wrong kinds of friends and inappropriate associations have led many people away from the truth and astray from God. The Bible provides detailed instructions to help people avoid any relationship that tends to lead to rebellion against God. Although these instructions were explicitly given while Israel remained under the Law of God, they forever reveal God's feelings toward those who would lead someone away from Him. Just as it was instructed of the Israelites, men today should never consent nor hearken to those who seek to lure them astray (Deuteronomy 13:8). In refusing to listen to those individuals, a believer should never feel guilt or pity the so-called friend, but rather find joy from making the right decision.
Few men, if any, have been afflicted like Job. His troubles involved the catastrophic loss of family members as well as physical ailments beyond most people's ability to endure. During the depths of these difficult trials, Job's three “friends” (Job 2:11) visited him. They showed up to comfort him but instead turned out to be additional sources of grief. Each word spoken by his friends seemed to compound his already miserable condition and circumstances. Job did not consider this to be the work of a friend and told them that, “To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend.” Later in the same chapter, Job said that his friends dug a pit for him (Job 6:27). Job’s friends should have shown him pity during his troublesome times instead of scorning (Job 16:20) and abhorring him (Job 19:19). True friends know how to comfort and console their friends as they experience trouble and pain in life. They certainly do not unrighteously judge and condemn.
Life presents many troubles that at times make it difficult to stand strong in the Christian walk. Standing alone makes it seem nigh impossible. Perhaps this is why God created friendships. The most precious times amongst spiritually-minded friends often take place when one of them finds himself in need. Far too many Christians stumble and fall spiritually because they have no one offering support and encouragement. True Christian friends are a help when those troublesome times arise. A true Christian friend encourages and strengthens his friend before he hits his lowest point and contemplates quitting. The heartbeat of Ecclesiastes 4:7-10 reveals that it is hard to serve the Lord alone. Yet serving Him with Christian friends provides extra strength in times of weakness and despair. A friend may be there to lift his brother up one day only to find the act of kindness reciprocated on another occasion.
Many people have so-called friends, but oftentimes these friendships are built upon weak support structures. Yet, testing the true depths of one's friendships can be quite challenging. The previous lesson pointed to the ease of making friends by showing yourself friendly. Yet, too many people focus on using material means to gain friendships. Money can buy friends but there remains that doubt concerning the true foundation of those relationships. The Bible teaches that “wealth maketh many friends” (Proverbs 19:4). This truth is further emphasized in Proverbs 14:20 where the Bible says, “the rich hath many friends.” This fact remains ever more prevalent as the days go on. Those who are rich will have many “friends,” while those who are poor have far fewer close associations. Unfortunately, “Every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts” (Proverbs 19:6). As long as there is money or gifts to be given, people will have “friends”; but as soon as the money runs out, the “friends” will be gone too. True friendships, however, may be gained by showing yourself friendly and will be cultivated through righteousness.
Very few people understand the simplicity involved in cultivating true friendships. In fact, far too many people emphasize the wrong factors when considering how to make friends. They look at one's appearance or charisma and attribute it as the key to making friends. Yet, the Bible points out a simple process as the key for gaining true friends. The one who makes friends simply must first “shew himself friendly.” Unapproachable people remain lonely and tend to miss out on much of what life has to offer. Those who struggle making friends should examine themselves to see whether or not they truly display themselves as friendly or more standoffish. People generally refuse to put forth the extra effort to get to know those who come across unwelcoming. People want to make friends with those who are approachable and there is no better way to make yourself approachable than to show yourself friendly. If a man does not appear to be friendly, others will pass him in their quest to cultivate lasting relationships.
Unfortunately, true lasting friendships seem increasingly difficult to cultivate and nurture in today's fast paced world. Yet, the interactions associated to true friendships remain important and healthy. There are many traits that define true friendships. Today's passage points out one of the primary features that constitute a true friend: “A friend loveth at all times.” This love is not to be confused with being dishonest in hopes of protecting the feelings of a friend. In fact, a true friend will offer a needed rebuke. This is why the Bible says, “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6). True friends never allow current circumstances to determine the level of commitment to a relationship. A true friend will remain faithful when all others have betrayed or departed. This test of friendship has been the proving ground for many friends throughout the history of mankind. One need look no further than the prodigal son for evidence of such (Luke 15:11-24).
Some people seem unable to function without daily interaction with friends. Yet, others think such attachments overbearing and far too demanding. Unfortunately, the world frequently misconstrues what constitutes true friendship. Additionally, far too many times, friends abuse this important relationship. Social media sites even refer to one's mere acquaintances as “friends.” No wonder the world remains so confused concerning the essence of true biblical friendship. Regardless of one’s perspective on these matters, the Bible points out that there is One friend that man cannot do without and He is “a friend that sticketh closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). This could simply refer to people who have friends more loyal than those in one's own family, but likely references the Lord. His level of commitment causes Him to be a friend to those deemed unlovable by the world. Simply consider what the Bible says about His sacrifice. Christ died on the cross for His enemies (Romans 5:10) so that they could become His friends (John 15:13-15). Truly, He is that “friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
