I am sorry, but some of us happen to believe the Bible. I am not sure what your authority for truth is, but it certainly is not God's word.
- Paul sought for his own healing but God refused to heal him (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Paul came to see God's refusal to heal him as the greater blessing.
- Paul, the same apostle who had earlier performed special miracles (Acts 19:11-12), left Trophimus in Miletum sick late in his ministry (2 Timothy 4:20). The age of signs and miracles was definitely on the decline.
- Paul rejoiced in the mercy of the Lord on Epaphroditus in healing him (Philippians 2:25-27). Paul was full of heaviness because he heard that he had been sick and feared that he might have sorrow on sorrow. He clearly did not expect healing in every case, or he would not have sorrowed in such a way.
- In fact, Paul took a doctor along with him (Colossians 4:14) and gave a prescription to Timothy for his infirmities (1 Timothy 5:23). Why did he not heal Timothy, if healing is for all God's children? You have no idea how far from scripture you have gone.
- Contrast this with the early healing by the apostles when they "healed every one" (Acts 5:16).
Fanny Crosby was blind from a child. She gloried so much in her infirmity that she said she would want to be born blind if she had it to do all over. Others, like you, accused her of lack of faith and sin because of her blindness. But look at the wonderful poetry and hymns that came from her hand. These hymns would probably not have come if she had normal sight. Your approach is shallow and false and it opens you to the wiles of the devil who comes as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14) and will deceive the whole earth by the miracles which he will perform (Revelation 13:14).
Finally, you question the validity of a God who chooses who He heals and is not at the beck and command of His disciples. It is a dangerous thing to force God into our own preconceptions. You need to rethink what you are saying. God does not design His profile to please us. Rather, it is our entire purpose to please Him (Revelation 4:11). It is certainly possible that you have turned to another god and that your rock is not my Rock, but I pray that you are truly born again or will become so and that the Lord will reveal His truth to you before you are further deceived by the devil.