Marriage and divorce is a big battle ground today. I work through these problems with two rules of thumb:
- This is a difficult question that is probably not as easy to determine and apply as either side claims.
- This is primarily a local church issue. That is, God gave the requirements so that the man seeking to be placed in the office and the church placing him in that office could decide whether or not to put him in that office. It is not a set of rules given to anyone wanting to pass judgment. Therefore, the final choice must be that of the man and the church. That does not mean that the qualifications are not important. They are. It is just that many have tried to go into everyone else's business and tell them what they can or cannot do. That was never the purpose of these qualifications.
Having said that, I will now add my opinion (I do not give that up by the above-mentioned ground rules). Deacons are to be "the husbands of one wife" (1Timothy 3:12). I have seen several possible interpretations of this phrase that made good points. However, I personally cannot see how this statement can logically be made to apply to the deacon's wife. It is a real stretch to make this statement exclude a man because his wife was at one time divorced. But, of course, this is just my opinion. God bless.