Even the best of homes experience times when trouble arises. Unfortunately, few homes seem to possess the willingness to endure those difficulties which arise. Though divorce is often viewed as a solution to resolve marital and family problems, it generally further complicates an already unstable situation. It is the Devil and not God who convinces couples that divorce could solve the problems created by sin or life’s inherent difficulties. Every home faces troublous times, but those homes built upon a love for the Lord seek to work through the trouble with their ultimate objective of glorifying the Lord. Rarely today do couples determine to endure the difficulties presented in the early years of marriage in order to find the joys of growing old together. These relationships lack the character to patiently wait as beauties of old age arise from the battles of youth.
Like other callings upon a person’s life, God prepares men and women for marriage. Obviously, God prepares the heart, but He also prepares other areas in order to provide for a strong home. When God created Adam, He could have immediately created Eve, but He chose to allow Adam to experience the sense of being alone. Perhaps there are other reasons, but God may have thought it wise to prepare Adam for marriage. He needed to experience life without Eve. Adam needed to come to the place where he desired companionship. He needed to be alone before he could truly appreciate a wife. In addition to the preparation of Adam’s heart, the Lord gave him a job, a means by which he could provide for Eve (Genesis 2:8-9, 15). All of these preparations were necessary for a strong marriage relationship.
The godly choice of whom to marry likely will never again be as obvious as it was for Adam and Eve. Yet, the wrong choice can and will usually bring disastrous outcomes along with lifelong consequences. Wise counsel to avoid pitfalls related to bad choices is vitally important! Samson’s choice was ultimately of the Lord, but not because it was wise. His parents knew that his decision was fleshly and attempted to redirect him. Esau rebelliously sought a wife that would never meet his parents’ approval (Genesis 28:6-9). Throughout the Old Testament, parents were involved in the process of choosing the right spouse for their children. It may not be a direct command from God, but it remains a wise principle to follow. Parents are not always right, but the Lord is pleased to use them in this decision-making process.
God made man with the natural desire for companionship. Similar to all of God’s other creation; the world, the flesh, and the Devil have corrupted the method by which this desire is consummated. God created Adam as a single man. As time elapsed, it became obvious that Adam did not need to be alone but needed a wife. Although the details do vary from situation to situation, the principles of God’s provisions for companionship for Adam provide superior guidelines for someone seeking the same relationship today. Adam found a wife when the Lord brought Eve to him and not the other way around. Adam too did not go searching for a wife, but God brought her to him. Though times have changed, God can and will do the same today for those who faithfully love and serve Him.
Much of a young person’s character or lack thereof is demonstrated in his behaviour toward adults and especially the elderly. In Isaiah chapter 3, the Bible speaks of a time when the judgment of God will be upon His people, and one of the characteristics of the day will be that “the child shall behave himself proudly against the ancient.” The prophet Elisha dealt with such children when they came out of the city mocking him saying, “Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head” (2 Kings 2:23). Apparently, Job endured a similar problem as he said, “young children despised me; I arose, and they spake against me” (Job 19:18). Children can be cruel, and in doing so they reveal an evil heart displeasing to the Lord. It is never a good idea to encourage children to be insolent and impolite toward adults.
The Bible has much to say concerning the dangers of improper family relationships. “There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother” (Proverbs 30:11). “The son dishonoureth the father, the daughter riseth up against her mother” (Micah 7:6), “the eye . . . mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother” (Proverbs 30:17). Yet, the first commandment with promise was to “honour thy father and mother” (Ephesians 6:1-2). This honour can be demonstrated by hearkening to (Proverbs 23:22) and obeying one’s parents (Colossians 3:20). As parents seek the Lord’s direction, God will lead them as to how to lead their individual homes (Ezra 8:21). The child’s responsibility is directed toward submitting to and learning of the Lord by obeying the parents.
NOW is the ideal time to love and serve the Lord. Some unwise counsel has suggested that young people should go out and experience the world in their youth before they later settle down and serve God once mature. An equally erroneous teaching proclaims that godly parents should raise their children to love and serve the Master at some future time. Both have misled far too many homes! The Lord wants young people to love and serve Him now. One should begin early in life to learn the most important lessons of life. As a child, one should learn “the fear of the LORD” (Psalm 34:11), to “praise the name of the LORD” (Psalm 148:12-13; Matthew 21:15), and to “remember” his Creator (Ecclesiastes 12:1). Like Samuel, children should grow and be “in favour both with the LORD, and also with men” (1 Samuel 2:26).
The Lord Jesus is the King of kings, the Lord of lords, and the Creator of the universe. Yet, during His earthly ministry, the Lord made it known that He cared for the “little ones” (Matthew 18:6, 10, 14). Perhaps the disciples thought the Master would be too busy or have more important things to do than to take time for the children. The Lord rebuked His disciples for such erroneous thinking. After all, the Lord loved children and wanted them to come to Him. It grieved Him to think that His disciples would forbid any child from coming to Him. Even now, the Lord wants little children to come to Him. No disciple should ever forbid children to come to the Lord. Even with all of life’s distractions, the Bible admonishes young people to remember their Creator in the days of their youth (Ecclesiastes 12:1).
With all the difficult challenges that a woman faces within the home, it should not be surprising that the Lord repeatedly gave warnings against a woman with a contentious spirit. How does the downward spiral begin? She may spend her life serving others with little to no thanks. She may honour and submit to a husband who deserves little honour or authority. If she does not continually walk with the Lord, she can become disillusioned with the Lord and with her duties as a mother and wife. She might begin to be contentious (Proverbs 21:9; Proverbs 25:24; Proverbs 27:15) causing greater problems in the home, perhaps to the point of causing those she loves to become bitter against her (Colossians 3:19).
The Bible shows us that even heathen kings know it is proper for a woman to honour her husband. Some might suggest that because these words were spoken by a heathen, the reader should discount them, but these truths are supported elsewhere in scripture. For instance, Ephesians 5:33 says that the wife is to reverence her husband. Sara honoured Abraham, even to the point of calling him lord (1 Peter 3:6). Even Abigail, who had a husband that was a man of Belial, honoured her husband when she kept David from ending Nabal’s life (1 Samuel 25:23-33). A woman who honours her husband honours the Lord. She does so because the Lord commands it, not because her husband necessarily deserves her honour.
