Marriage involves a relationship between a man and a woman, but what constitutes a scriptural marriage? Scripturally speaking, it is not merely “flesh joining flesh.” This is plain in that a man could marry a wife only to find that she had been unfaithful with another man to whom she was not married (Deuteronomy 24:1; Matthew 5:32). It is also clear that Shechem defiled Dinah, but then asked if she could become his wife (Genesis 34:1-4). The woman at the well had an improper relationship with a man, but the Lord declared that that particular man was not her husband (John 4:16-18). Instead, marriage occurs when God joins a man and a woman (Genesis 2:21-24; Mark 10:9), and it is often established by a ceremony with vows given to each other (Matthew 22:1-13; John 2:1-2).
God instituted marriage and He alone has the right to establish the rightful candidates to join together in this or any other union. Man has no God-given right to interfere with the precepts of God. Everything in creation declares that marriage always includes only a relationship between one man and one woman. Additionally, the marriage bounds are not subject to popular vote of society nor subject to modification by any court or law of the land. Its conditions are set by the highest law and the highest court. God could have presented Adam with another man, but He did not. In God’s eyes, marriage is a specific relationship fulfilled only between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:21-23), and any deviation of this is unseemly and an abomination to God (Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:26-27).
No believer should knowingly marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14). Additionally, the unmarried should look for other strengths and weaknesses in a prospective spouse before agreeing to marriage. Oftentimes, these strengths and weaknesses can be seen by interaction with the other’s parents. Isaac lied about Rebekah (Genesis 26:6-7) just as his father Abraham lied about Sarah (Genesis 12:10-13; Genesis 20:1-2). Solomon’s weakness for women (1 Kings 11:1) was first witnessed in his father David (2 Samuel 11:1-4). Rachel learned deception (Genesis 31:32-35) by watching her father act deceptively (Genesis 29:25). A careful observation of parents can reveal prospective problems in a future spouse.
Like other callings upon a person’s life, God prepares men and women for marriage. Obviously, God prepares the heart, but He also prepares other areas in order to provide for a strong home. When God created Adam, He could have immediately created Eve, but He chose to allow Adam to experience the sense of being alone. Perhaps there are other reasons, but God may have thought it wise to prepare Adam for marriage. He needed to experience life without Eve. Adam needed to come to the place where he desired companionship. He needed to be alone before he could truly appreciate a wife. In addition to the preparation of Adam’s heart, the Lord gave him a job, a means by which he could provide for Eve (Genesis 2:8-9, 15). All of these preparations were necessary for a strong marriage relationship.
The godly choice of whom to marry likely will never again be as obvious as it was for Adam and Eve. Yet, the wrong choice can and will usually bring disastrous outcomes along with lifelong consequences. Wise counsel to avoid pitfalls related to bad choices is vitally important! Samson’s choice was ultimately of the Lord, but not because it was wise. His parents knew that his decision was fleshly and attempted to redirect him. Esau rebelliously sought a wife that would never meet his parents’ approval (Genesis 28:6-9). Throughout the Old Testament, parents were involved in the process of choosing the right spouse for their children. It may not be a direct command from God, but it remains a wise principle to follow. Parents are not always right, but the Lord is pleased to use them in this decision-making process.
God made man with the natural desire for companionship. Similar to all of God’s other creation; the world, the flesh, and the Devil have corrupted the method by which this desire is consummated. God created Adam as a single man. As time elapsed, it became obvious that Adam did not need to be alone but needed a wife. Although the details do vary from situation to situation, the principles of God’s provisions for companionship for Adam provide superior guidelines for someone seeking the same relationship today. Adam found a wife when the Lord brought Eve to him and not the other way around. Adam too did not go searching for a wife, but God brought her to him. Though times have changed, God can and will do the same today for those who faithfully love and serve Him.
A cursory read of today’s passage might lead someone to believe that it contains a glaring contradiction. Yet, the passage simply makes a distinction between the two main kinds of fear, the fear of man and the fear of God. God instructs His people not to fear the things of the world so that they might know the fear of the Lord. Each of these fears reflects the level of faith. A fear of the world reflects an absence of faith. It further reveals a lack of trust in God to provide or take care of the believer. The Lord warned His people to overcome the fears of this world based upon His own presence (Genesis 15:1). Yet, the fear of the Lord is founded strictly upon faith. Those who fear the Lord trust in Him (Psalm 115:11).
Learning to fear the Lord yields great results in our daily walk with Him. Some facets of man’s relationship with the Lord change over time and through the seasons. Yet, one thing that has remained constant from the very beginning concerns God’s call upon His people to fear Him. How vital is the fear of God? The Bible refers to it as “the whole duty of man.” Some Bible teachers have tried to lessen the severity of this truth by saying that this fear merely refers to reverencing God, yet Hebrews 12:28 presents the fear of God and reverence as two separate and distinct actions. God’s people are to fear the Lord as the Creator of all things and the One who will one day bring all things into judgment. As saints of God, we will never please the Lord until we first learn to fear Him (Deuteronomy 4:10).
Fear introduced is faith attacked. As such, we should not be partakers of the world’s fears. Instead, we should “sanctify the LORD of hosts himself; and let him be” our fear (Isaiah 8:13). Throughout scripture, the Lord admonished His people not to fear the world. Why? The answer is twofold: (1) the Lord was with them (Genesis 26:24) and (2) fear of the world yields bondage (Proverbs 29:25). This worldly bondage never originates with the Lord (Romans 8:15) for He has given Christians a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). We need not fear those who can destroy the body (Matthew 10:28); rather, we ought to say the Lord is our helper, and we will not fear what men will do unto us (Hebrews 13:6).
