Marriage involves a relationship between a man and a woman, but what constitutes a scriptural marriage? Scripturally speaking, it is not merely “flesh joining flesh.” This is plain in that a man could marry a wife only to find that she had been unfaithful with another man to whom she was not married (Deuteronomy 24:1; Matthew 5:32). It is also clear that Shechem defiled Dinah, but then asked if she could become his wife (Genesis 34:1-4). The woman at the well had an improper relationship with a man, but the Lord declared that that particular man was not her husband (John 4:16-18). Instead, marriage occurs when God joins a man and a woman (Genesis 2:21-24; Mark 10:9), and it is often established by a ceremony with vows given to each other (Matthew 22:1-13; John 2:1-2).
God instituted marriage and He alone has the right to establish the rightful candidates to join together in this or any other union. Man has no God-given right to interfere with the precepts of God. Everything in creation declares that marriage always includes only a relationship between one man and one woman. Additionally, the marriage bounds are not subject to popular vote of society nor subject to modification by any court or law of the land. Its conditions are set by the highest law and the highest court. God could have presented Adam with another man, but He did not. In God’s eyes, marriage is a specific relationship fulfilled only between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:21-23), and any deviation of this is unseemly and an abomination to God (Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:26-27).
No believer should knowingly marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14). Additionally, the unmarried should look for other strengths and weaknesses in a prospective spouse before agreeing to marriage. Oftentimes, these strengths and weaknesses can be seen by interaction with the other’s parents. Isaac lied about Rebekah (Genesis 26:6-7) just as his father Abraham lied about Sarah (Genesis 12:10-13; Genesis 20:1-2). Solomon’s weakness for women (1 Kings 11:1) was first witnessed in his father David (2 Samuel 11:1-4). Rachel learned deception (Genesis 31:32-35) by watching her father act deceptively (Genesis 29:25). A careful observation of parents can reveal prospective problems in a future spouse.
Like other callings upon a person’s life, God prepares men and women for marriage. Obviously, God prepares the heart, but He also prepares other areas in order to provide for a strong home. When God created Adam, He could have immediately created Eve, but He chose to allow Adam to experience the sense of being alone. Perhaps there are other reasons, but God may have thought it wise to prepare Adam for marriage. He needed to experience life without Eve. Adam needed to come to the place where he desired companionship. He needed to be alone before he could truly appreciate a wife. In addition to the preparation of Adam’s heart, the Lord gave him a job, a means by which he could provide for Eve (Genesis 2:8-9, 15). All of these preparations were necessary for a strong marriage relationship.
The godly choice of whom to marry likely will never again be as obvious as it was for Adam and Eve. Yet, the wrong choice can and will usually bring disastrous outcomes along with lifelong consequences. Wise counsel to avoid pitfalls related to bad choices is vitally important! Samson’s choice was ultimately of the Lord, but not because it was wise. His parents knew that his decision was fleshly and attempted to redirect him. Esau rebelliously sought a wife that would never meet his parents’ approval (Genesis 28:6-9). Throughout the Old Testament, parents were involved in the process of choosing the right spouse for their children. It may not be a direct command from God, but it remains a wise principle to follow. Parents are not always right, but the Lord is pleased to use them in this decision-making process.
God made man with the natural desire for companionship. Similar to all of God’s other creation; the world, the flesh, and the Devil have corrupted the method by which this desire is consummated. God created Adam as a single man. As time elapsed, it became obvious that Adam did not need to be alone but needed a wife. Although the details do vary from situation to situation, the principles of God’s provisions for companionship for Adam provide superior guidelines for someone seeking the same relationship today. Adam found a wife when the Lord brought Eve to him and not the other way around. Adam too did not go searching for a wife, but God brought her to him. Though times have changed, God can and will do the same today for those who faithfully love and serve Him.
God often allows problems to enter people’s lives in order to facilitate His initial plans. For example, God had already expressed His desire to Abram for him to separate from his kindred. For various reasons, Abram had not obeyed God up until this point. In order to bring about God’s desired will, He allowed conflict to enter between the herdmen of Abram and those of Lot. The solution to this unnecessary conflict was quite simple. Abram suggested that they part ways (God’s initial plan) and Abram turned toward the land of Canaan (God’s initial plan). The Lord used the same tactic in the early church to get them to spread out and to preach His word outside of Jerusalem (see Acts 1:8 and Acts 8:1).
Oftentimes the right solutions do not resolve the problems overnight—consider Noah, the ark, and the flood. Patience is a necessity! They all knew God’s plan involved drying the earth and sending them forth from the ark. No doubt, each passing day made it increasingly difficult to wait upon the Lord to resolve the problem that kept them locked in the ark. A man who demands a hasty solution to his problems often fails to find God’s ultimate solution. God’s solutions almost always require time and patience. The problems arose over a period of time and finding their solutions takes time also. The areas of life where troubles most often appear (i.e., sin, family, job, finances) are rarely solved apart from time and patience.
Most problems have multiple solutions, yet some of the solutions yield newer and greater problems. Abram and Sarai knew the Lord wanted to give them a son. All they needed to do was to trust God to accomplish what He had promised. The problem—Sarai bare Abram no children. Instead of seeking the Lord for the proper solution to the problem, Sarai conceived what she believed to be a good plan. She wanted her maid Hagar to bare a son for them. This solution was indeed a solution to the problem, but it was not God’s solution. Hagar had a son, but this son turned out to be a thorn in the flesh of Abram and Sarai’s son Isaac. The problems resulting from their solution have lingered for millennia and continue to this day.
When a problem presents itself, it is very important for man to consider the root of the problem. In scripture, the Lord would often accomplish this through inquiry. Before entering the garden, the Lord of course knew what had taken place. Yet, the first thing the Lord did was to ask Adam where he was. The Lord did this not to locate Adam, but He knew that Adam needed to get to the root of the problem. Adam did acknowledge what transpired to bring about the current problem but failed to take personal responsibility for the problem. When a problem presents itself, man should take the time to seek the cause of the problem. He should do so by willingly taking personal responsibility.
