The world justifies an almost unlimited range of reasons for divorce, but the Lord is much more narrow-minded. In fact, the Lord only offered one just cause for divorce in Matthew 19:9. An excellent cross reference (Deuteronomy 24:1) indicates that the fornication mentioned involves an uncleanness found within the woman that took place prior to marriage. If this be true, even adultery fails to qualify as scriptural grounds for divorce. One might argue that the Lord broadened this scope when speaking of the unbelieving spouse leaving the believer, but even there the Lord said to the believing husband, “let him not put her away” (1 Corinthians 7:12) and to the believing wife, “let her not leave him” (1 Corinthians 7:13).
God tells us in His word that He never intended for a marriage to end in divorce. He desires for one man and one woman to remain together until death parts the two asunder. Divorce would be nonexistent apart from sin (Mark 10:5). Just as God hates sin, He also hates the results of sin. Instead of recognizing God’s true feelings for divorce, men often seek to justify their sinful choices suggesting that God understands and would not want them to remain in an unhappy environment. As sin increases, men’s opinions concerning divorce continue to drift away from God. Years ago, communities, families, and churches frowned upon the act of divorce; however, today divorce has become accepted as the norm rather than the exception. Unfortunately, divorce is not only accepted in the world but readily accepted in the pew and the pulpit.
Even the best of homes experience times when trouble arises. Unfortunately, few homes seem to possess the willingness to endure those difficulties which arise. Though divorce is often viewed as a solution to resolve marital and family problems, it generally further complicates an already unstable situation. It is the Devil and not God who convinces couples that divorce could solve the problems created by sin or life’s inherent difficulties. Every home faces troublous times, but those homes built upon a love for the Lord seek to work through the trouble with their ultimate objective of glorifying the Lord. Rarely today do couples determine to endure the difficulties presented in the early years of marriage in order to find the joys of growing old together. These relationships lack the character to patiently wait as beauties of old age arise from the battles of youth.
Scripture plainly reveals that God repeatedly calls for His people to separate from the world. This separation extends to every aspect of life, especially including the marriage bond. Why? Because God knows the very real danger that unbelievers pose to believers by drawing them away from Him (Deuteronomy 7:3-4; Judges 3:6-7; 1 Kings 11:2). This is why God specifically instructed His people in both the Old and New Testament to marry among themselves (Jew with Jew and Christian with Christian). The nation of Israel was forbidden to yoke up with the surrounding nations because Israel would adopt heathen practices and the worship of false gods (Exodus 34:15-16). Though God’s commands for the New Testament believer are often different from His plan for the Jew, in this aspect they remain constant and unchangeable.
God instituted marriage and He alone has the right to establish the rightful candidates to join together in this or any other union. Man has no God-given right to interfere with the precepts of God. Everything in creation declares that marriage always includes only a relationship between one man and one woman. Additionally, the marriage bounds are not subject to popular vote of society nor subject to modification by any court or law of the land. Its conditions are set by the highest law and the highest court. God could have presented Adam with another man, but He did not. In God’s eyes, marriage is a specific relationship fulfilled only between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:21-23), and any deviation of this is unseemly and an abomination to God (Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:26-27).
Modern society is increasingly mocking purity, yet God is pleased with those who endeavour to keep themselves pure before marriage. Increasing temptations combined with the declining standards concerning courting have made purity a rarity rather than the norm. Regardless of this trend, young people with a deep and abiding love for the Lord will continually strive to overcome these obstacles and remain pure. Those who have failed in the past will renew their commitment to the Lord seeking to prevent further regrets. This must be accomplished with a firm resolve. A young person must determine that he or she is going to respect the commandments of God and the other individual with whom he or she is courting. Beyond this, each young person must determine to build fences of protection to keep from entering into tempting situations. The Devil does not need much room to rob a youth of his or her purity (Ephesians 4:27).
Church discipline has commonly taken place under one of two extremes. It is either nonexistent or overused. Church discipline, however, is intended to be one of God’s methods of chastening. Before weak and unscriptural churches became so prevalent, those disciplined by one body of believers would not be readily accepted into another congregation while in a state of rebellion. Issues had to be settled and hearts made right. People had to repent and seek restoration. Discipline was implemented not only for the purity of the body, but also so that those who had gone astray might repent and find true restoration amongst the body. God used this chastening to purify saints and churches alike.
One who has little understanding of chastening might suggest that God’s chastening is an act born of hatred, but it actually represents an overflowing love from the heart of God. God expresses His motives for chastening His children in Hebrews 12:6 when He says, “For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth.” Again in Revelation 3:19 the Lord says, “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten.” This again displays a distinction between punishment and chastening. The source of punishment could be construed as anger, justice, or wrath, but the motive of true biblical chastening involves the purest form of love. This means that chastening does not merely benefit the one implementing the chastening, but takes place for the good of the one chastened.
As the world seeks to further weaken any distinctions between men and women, it becomes even more important to stand firm upon God’s principles. God has a defined order in the home and the worldly attitudes do not alter God’s precepts. Someone has to be the leader of each home and bear the responsibility. According to 1 Corinthians 11:3, the proper order is a woman submitted to a man, who is submitted to Christ, who is submitted to the heavenly Father. Christ’s submission to the Father in no way suggested inferiority to the Father, nor does a submissive wife indicate any type of inferiority to her husband. In fact, it takes a stronger woman to follow God’s plan of submission. A godly home follows the scripture even when it contradicts the generally accepted teachings of the day.
The world constantly and consistently contradicts the truths of God. For instance, it has convinced mankind that it is manly to start a fight and cowardly to cease from strife. As is almost always the case, the world’s natural way of thinking stands in stark contrast to true scriptural teachings. According to scripture, “It is an honour for a man to cease from strife.” This reveals that the most honourable of men are those who through God-given wisdom are able to bring strife to a peaceable resolution without the need for war. A fool, however, continues to meddle until a fight breaks out. The Bible clearly states the dangers of meddling, yet a fool chooses to ignore the scriptural warning to his own hurt.
