Even the best of homes experience times when trouble arises. Unfortunately, few homes seem to possess the willingness to endure those difficulties which arise. Though divorce is often viewed as a solution to resolve marital and family problems, it generally further complicates an already unstable situation. It is the Devil and not God who convinces couples that divorce could solve the problems created by sin or life’s inherent difficulties. Every home faces troublous times, but those homes built upon a love for the Lord seek to work through the trouble with their ultimate objective of glorifying the Lord. Rarely today do couples determine to endure the difficulties presented in the early years of marriage in order to find the joys of growing old together. These relationships lack the character to patiently wait as beauties of old age arise from the battles of youth.
Like other callings upon a person’s life, God prepares men and women for marriage. Obviously, God prepares the heart, but He also prepares other areas in order to provide for a strong home. When God created Adam, He could have immediately created Eve, but He chose to allow Adam to experience the sense of being alone. Perhaps there are other reasons, but God may have thought it wise to prepare Adam for marriage. He needed to experience life without Eve. Adam needed to come to the place where he desired companionship. He needed to be alone before he could truly appreciate a wife. In addition to the preparation of Adam’s heart, the Lord gave him a job, a means by which he could provide for Eve (Genesis 2:8-9, 15). All of these preparations were necessary for a strong marriage relationship.
The godly choice of whom to marry likely will never again be as obvious as it was for Adam and Eve. Yet, the wrong choice can and will usually bring disastrous outcomes along with lifelong consequences. Wise counsel to avoid pitfalls related to bad choices is vitally important! Samson’s choice was ultimately of the Lord, but not because it was wise. His parents knew that his decision was fleshly and attempted to redirect him. Esau rebelliously sought a wife that would never meet his parents’ approval (Genesis 28:6-9). Throughout the Old Testament, parents were involved in the process of choosing the right spouse for their children. It may not be a direct command from God, but it remains a wise principle to follow. Parents are not always right, but the Lord is pleased to use them in this decision-making process.
God made man with the natural desire for companionship. Similar to all of God’s other creation; the world, the flesh, and the Devil have corrupted the method by which this desire is consummated. God created Adam as a single man. As time elapsed, it became obvious that Adam did not need to be alone but needed a wife. Although the details do vary from situation to situation, the principles of God’s provisions for companionship for Adam provide superior guidelines for someone seeking the same relationship today. Adam found a wife when the Lord brought Eve to him and not the other way around. Adam too did not go searching for a wife, but God brought her to him. Though times have changed, God can and will do the same today for those who faithfully love and serve Him.
In a world filled with competition and pride, the peacemaker is often wrongly accused of being unable to handle the conflict or the fight. This is why many people consider backing down from strife a sign of weakness. Once again, God and man are at complete opposite ends of the spectrum. While many men consider it commendable to continue strife, God thinks it honourable to cease from strife. In other words, the greater man or woman brings conflict to a close rather than further instigating it. According to the Bible, it is a fool who continues to meddle in hopes of prolonging the conflict. It is up to each believer to determine whether to accept God’s way or man’s way of thinking.
No doubt about it: the world is full of problems. Every day, people choose to say and do things that they should not say or do. Their actions contain all of the necessary ingredients for strife. The Bible says a wrathful man looks for the possibility of strife and does whatever necessary to stir it up (Proverbs 15:18). Why does he do this? The Bible points out that he is proud of heart (Proverbs 28:25) and full of hatred (Proverbs 10:12). The Bible further describes this work in Proverbs 26:20-21 where it says, “Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth. As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.” A contentious man seeks to rekindle the flames as he notices the fires of strife beginning to be extinguished.
During Bible times, even the average individual understood a great deal concerning agriculture. This meant that the laws of sowing and reaping were quite familiar to them. They understood that sowing seed was done in hopes of reaping a harvest of that which was sown. Today’s passage explains that the froward man chooses to sow strife. In other words, there are some in society who look for strife and where it does not exist, they will sow the seeds of strife so that it sprouts even where it did not originally exist. Why would they do this? Some people revel in seeing the fruits of arguments, wars, strife, envy, debate, and other such things. The froward man simply finds a way to instigate problems and exploit situations by creating lies or exaggerations to accomplish his sordid purposes.
Understanding man’s true nature makes today’s verse understandable and comprehensible. Ignoring the true reality of man’s constitution will lead the reader to refuse this Bible truth. Surely no man, woman, boy, or girl would love strife! Strife seems to be contrary to something we would deem lovable. After all, the Bible likens strife to the bars of a castle (Proverbs 18:19), creating a prison for some and an impossible barrier for others. It is birthed through pride (Proverbs 13:10) and harms those most innocent (Exodus 21:22-25). With these thoughts in mind, how could anyone love strife? The answer is quite simple. Man’s flesh desires to rebel against the laws of God. It finds pleasure in transgression and satisfaction in displeasing the Lord. So man, although aware of strife’s downfalls and pitfalls, craves strife and the resultant conflict.
In Bible times, the greatest form of defence for a city was to remain strong and surrounded by high walls. If a people group or nation had high walls and a strong city, they were extremely difficult to conquer. During these times, the barriers were imperative for a strong national defense. The Lord considered this scenario as an appropriate picture to demonstrate the state of an offended brother, resulting from contention. The Lord likens this contention to the bars on a castle. Even if the enemy were capable of getting into the strong city, other obstacles existed making it impossible to break through to its core. These included the bars erected to avoid someone from entering the castle. In like manner, contention makes it almost impossible to break through to the heart of an offended brother.
There are times when strife remains an unavoidable option; however, no believer should ever strive with others without a just cause and purpose. Today’s passage gives instructions for dealing with a neighbour as this relationship is more likely than any other to encounter strife. The Lord instructs a man to never devise evil against his neighbour. In like manner, a man should never instigate strife when his neighbour has done him no harm. There are many examples in the Bible of those who chose not to heed this admonition. Nabal, the husband of Abigail, was a wicked man who refused to provide provisions for David’s men (1 Samuel 25:1-38). David and his men had done no harm to Nabal or his belongings. In fact, David’s men had been a blessing and help to Nabal’s shepherds. Fortunately, the wisdom of Nabal’s wife subdued David’s desire for strife.
