Interestingly, the Lord actually commands His people to be angry! This may surprise or concern some believers who fail to study the entirety of scripture within context, but the Lord admonished believers at Ephesus to be angry. No doubt this was a call for a righteous anger with a cause, but nonetheless it was a call for anger. Why? The Bible points out that a godly anger can put a stop to sin. According to Proverbs 25:23, “The north wind driveth away rain: so doth an angry countenance a backbiting tongue.” This directly correlates to the context of Ephesians 4:26 as the surrounding passages speak of ceasing from sin. Simultaneous to the Lord admonishing believers to be angry, He also cautioned them not to let their righteous anger turn into sin.
In an environment where strife prevails, an angry man thrives. The Bibles points out that this type of person looks for ways to stir up strife. Perhaps he asks questions to get opinions involving others to gauge any dissatisfaction with them. He then turns any small frustration into a larger problem. Perhaps he uses other methods, but the end goal remains the same; he wants to stir up strife. He does this not only in the lives of others, but in his own heart as well. Instead of focusing upon reasons to rejoice in the Lord, he looks for reasons to be frustrated. All the while, he is walking in the flesh and missing out on the fruit of the Spirit: “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (Galatians 5:22-23).
The Bible says, “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous” (Proverbs 27:4). Yet, these two emotions generally adversely affect all who come into contact with them. The believer should not only abstain from ungodly anger within his own heart but also guard himself against making friends with those who are angry. This is why Solomon said, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.” Generally, believers take on the traits of those with whom they spend the majority of their time. This is why it is imperative that believers spend much time with the Lord and avoid ungodly, close friendships.
Be sure to carefully read today’s verse. A basic definition of discretion refers to someone who seeks out knowledge concerning a conflict and then uses wisdom to arrive at the right decision. On the other hand, ungodly anger unwisely reacts without discretion. It is therefore logical that discretion defers anger. Any individual who thrives on anger often does so by neglecting knowledge and wisdom. He fails to patiently consider every perspective and detail before rushing to judgment fueling his fury. Discretion may delay a reaction, but when one does react using discretion, his reaction will be righteous and helpful for all involved even when his reaction might involve anger.
Anger is often viewed by others as a symbol of strength. From youth, men are taught that one’s strength and authority can be best conveyed through the use of anger. Yet, the Bible teaches that the manifestation of an ungodly anger exhibits a sign of weakness. Anger is a foolish practice (Proverbs 14:17) that resteth in the bosom of fools (Ecclesiastes 7:9). According to Proverbs 16:32, a man “that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” This is why the Bible admonishes believers to “be swift to hear, slow to speak,” and “slow to wrath” (James 1:19). This trait is so important that God included it as one of the requirements for those who would desire the office of a bishop (Titus 1:7).
Even the best of homes experience times when trouble arises. Unfortunately, few homes seem to possess the willingness to endure those difficulties which arise. Though divorce is often viewed as a solution to resolve marital and family problems, it generally further complicates an already unstable situation. It is the Devil and not God who convinces couples that divorce could solve the problems created by sin or life’s inherent difficulties. Every home faces troublous times, but those homes built upon a love for the Lord seek to work through the trouble with their ultimate objective of glorifying the Lord. Rarely today do couples determine to endure the difficulties presented in the early years of marriage in order to find the joys of growing old together. These relationships lack the character to patiently wait as beauties of old age arise from the battles of youth.
Like other callings upon a person’s life, God prepares men and women for marriage. Obviously, God prepares the heart, but He also prepares other areas in order to provide for a strong home. When God created Adam, He could have immediately created Eve, but He chose to allow Adam to experience the sense of being alone. Perhaps there are other reasons, but God may have thought it wise to prepare Adam for marriage. He needed to experience life without Eve. Adam needed to come to the place where he desired companionship. He needed to be alone before he could truly appreciate a wife. In addition to the preparation of Adam’s heart, the Lord gave him a job, a means by which he could provide for Eve (Genesis 2:8-9, 15). All of these preparations were necessary for a strong marriage relationship.
The godly choice of whom to marry likely will never again be as obvious as it was for Adam and Eve. Yet, the wrong choice can and will usually bring disastrous outcomes along with lifelong consequences. Wise counsel to avoid pitfalls related to bad choices is vitally important! Samson’s choice was ultimately of the Lord, but not because it was wise. His parents knew that his decision was fleshly and attempted to redirect him. Esau rebelliously sought a wife that would never meet his parents’ approval (Genesis 28:6-9). Throughout the Old Testament, parents were involved in the process of choosing the right spouse for their children. It may not be a direct command from God, but it remains a wise principle to follow. Parents are not always right, but the Lord is pleased to use them in this decision-making process.
God made man with the natural desire for companionship. Similar to all of God’s other creation; the world, the flesh, and the Devil have corrupted the method by which this desire is consummated. God created Adam as a single man. As time elapsed, it became obvious that Adam did not need to be alone but needed a wife. Although the details do vary from situation to situation, the principles of God’s provisions for companionship for Adam provide superior guidelines for someone seeking the same relationship today. Adam found a wife when the Lord brought Eve to him and not the other way around. Adam too did not go searching for a wife, but God brought her to him. Though times have changed, God can and will do the same today for those who faithfully love and serve Him.
