The world justifies an almost unlimited range of reasons for divorce, but the Lord is much more narrow-minded. In fact, the Lord only offered one just cause for divorce in Matthew 19:9. An excellent cross reference (Deuteronomy 24:1) indicates that the fornication mentioned involves an uncleanness found within the woman that took place prior to marriage. If this be true, even adultery fails to qualify as scriptural grounds for divorce. One might argue that the Lord broadened this scope when speaking of the unbelieving spouse leaving the believer, but even there the Lord said to the believing husband, “let him not put her away” (1 Corinthians 7:12) and to the believing wife, “let her not leave him” (1 Corinthians 7:13).
God tells us in His word that He never intended for a marriage to end in divorce. He desires for one man and one woman to remain together until death parts the two asunder. Divorce would be nonexistent apart from sin (Mark 10:5). Just as God hates sin, He also hates the results of sin. Instead of recognizing God’s true feelings for divorce, men often seek to justify their sinful choices suggesting that God understands and would not want them to remain in an unhappy environment. As sin increases, men’s opinions concerning divorce continue to drift away from God. Years ago, communities, families, and churches frowned upon the act of divorce; however, today divorce has become accepted as the norm rather than the exception. Unfortunately, divorce is not only accepted in the world but readily accepted in the pew and the pulpit.
Even the best of homes experience times when trouble arises. Unfortunately, few homes seem to possess the willingness to endure those difficulties which arise. Though divorce is often viewed as a solution to resolve marital and family problems, it generally further complicates an already unstable situation. It is the Devil and not God who convinces couples that divorce could solve the problems created by sin or life’s inherent difficulties. Every home faces troublous times, but those homes built upon a love for the Lord seek to work through the trouble with their ultimate objective of glorifying the Lord. Rarely today do couples determine to endure the difficulties presented in the early years of marriage in order to find the joys of growing old together. These relationships lack the character to patiently wait as beauties of old age arise from the battles of youth.
Scripture plainly reveals that God repeatedly calls for His people to separate from the world. This separation extends to every aspect of life, especially including the marriage bond. Why? Because God knows the very real danger that unbelievers pose to believers by drawing them away from Him (Deuteronomy 7:3-4; Judges 3:6-7; 1 Kings 11:2). This is why God specifically instructed His people in both the Old and New Testament to marry among themselves (Jew with Jew and Christian with Christian). The nation of Israel was forbidden to yoke up with the surrounding nations because Israel would adopt heathen practices and the worship of false gods (Exodus 34:15-16). Though God’s commands for the New Testament believer are often different from His plan for the Jew, in this aspect they remain constant and unchangeable.
God instituted marriage and He alone has the right to establish the rightful candidates to join together in this or any other union. Man has no God-given right to interfere with the precepts of God. Everything in creation declares that marriage always includes only a relationship between one man and one woman. Additionally, the marriage bounds are not subject to popular vote of society nor subject to modification by any court or law of the land. Its conditions are set by the highest law and the highest court. God could have presented Adam with another man, but He did not. In God’s eyes, marriage is a specific relationship fulfilled only between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:21-23), and any deviation of this is unseemly and an abomination to God (Leviticus 18:22; Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:26-27).
Modern society is increasingly mocking purity, yet God is pleased with those who endeavour to keep themselves pure before marriage. Increasing temptations combined with the declining standards concerning courting have made purity a rarity rather than the norm. Regardless of this trend, young people with a deep and abiding love for the Lord will continually strive to overcome these obstacles and remain pure. Those who have failed in the past will renew their commitment to the Lord seeking to prevent further regrets. This must be accomplished with a firm resolve. A young person must determine that he or she is going to respect the commandments of God and the other individual with whom he or she is courting. Beyond this, each young person must determine to build fences of protection to keep from entering into tempting situations. The Devil does not need much room to rob a youth of his or her purity (Ephesians 4:27).
In John’s epistle to the elect lady and her children (2 John 1), he encouraged them to look to themselves so that he, and those with him, might not lose those things which they had wrought. In order for John to receive a full reward, those to whom he had ministered must take heed to their own service and their walk before the Lord. This line of thinking seems to be less emphasized today in many Bible-believing groups. However, it is a truth set forth by the scriptures. Paul reiterated this truth in Galatians 4:11 when he said, “I am afraid of you, lest I have bestowed upon you labour in vain.” In 1 Thessalonians 2:19, he declared that God’s people were his hope, joy, and crown of rejoicing. You might say that Paul concluded the matter when he asked, “are not ye my work in the Lord?” (1 Corinthians 9:1).
The Bible clearly points out that by God’s grace the apostle Paul laid the foundation which is Jesus Christ and Him crucified. All those who have come after the apostle Paul have built upon that foundation. It is with this in mind that Paul warned believers to take heed how they built upon the foundation. The foundation has been laid, and no other foundation can be laid, but each believer must carefully examine the means by which he builds upon Christ. Not only should believers take heed to their daily walk, but self-examination is also necessary in their manner of service for the Lord Jesus Christ. Each believer should search the scriptures to ensure that his efforts glorify the Lord. Far too much effort is self-serving and selfish and not God-centric. Self-examination helps define one’s motives.
It has always been easier for man to see the problems in the lives of others. In fact, the problems we most easily identify in others are often the sins with which we personally struggle. Oftentimes, believers see these problems and immediately rush to rebuke or admonish those in error without considering their own lives first. According to Galatians 6:1, those overtaken in a fault should not be admonished until the restorer has first considered himself. The Bible says, “lest thou also be tempted.” 1 Corinthians 10:12 contains a similar principle and admonition: “Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.” Believers should not be easily deceived by their own conditions and must be willing to call their own standing into question first. Remember that those who have fallen should serve as a warning to every believer.
Self-examination serves as a tool for man to use to find out who and what he is. Though some preachers suggest that believers should never question their own salvation experience, the scripture encourages self-examination. If there are doubts, believers should certainly ask questions concerning the basis for their salvation. Was it based upon one’s feelings or solely upon the scriptures? They should ask what they did in order to be saved. Did they join a church, do some penitent work, or did they call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ by faith as dictated by the scriptures? They should ask about the effects of their salvation. Have they seen a change of heart, or are they the same that they were before trusting Christ as Saviour?
