Modern society is increasingly mocking purity, yet God is pleased with those who endeavour to keep themselves pure before marriage. Increasing temptations combined with the declining standards concerning courting have made purity a rarity rather than the norm. Regardless of this trend, young people with a deep and abiding love for the Lord will continually strive to overcome these obstacles and remain pure. Those who have failed in the past will renew their commitment to the Lord seeking to prevent further regrets. This must be accomplished with a firm resolve. A young person must determine that he or she is going to respect the commandments of God and the other individual with whom he or she is courting. Beyond this, each young person must determine to build fences of protection to keep from entering into tempting situations. The Devil does not need much room to rob a youth of his or her purity (Ephesians 4:27).
Like other callings upon a person’s life, God prepares men and women for marriage. Obviously, God prepares the heart, but He also prepares other areas in order to provide for a strong home. When God created Adam, He could have immediately created Eve, but He chose to allow Adam to experience the sense of being alone. Perhaps there are other reasons, but God may have thought it wise to prepare Adam for marriage. He needed to experience life without Eve. Adam needed to come to the place where he desired companionship. He needed to be alone before he could truly appreciate a wife. In addition to the preparation of Adam’s heart, the Lord gave him a job, a means by which he could provide for Eve (Genesis 2:8-9, 15). All of these preparations were necessary for a strong marriage relationship.
The godly choice of whom to marry likely will never again be as obvious as it was for Adam and Eve. Yet, the wrong choice can and will usually bring disastrous outcomes along with lifelong consequences. Wise counsel to avoid pitfalls related to bad choices is vitally important! Samson’s choice was ultimately of the Lord, but not because it was wise. His parents knew that his decision was fleshly and attempted to redirect him. Esau rebelliously sought a wife that would never meet his parents’ approval (Genesis 28:6-9). Throughout the Old Testament, parents were involved in the process of choosing the right spouse for their children. It may not be a direct command from God, but it remains a wise principle to follow. Parents are not always right, but the Lord is pleased to use them in this decision-making process.
God made man with the natural desire for companionship. Similar to all of God’s other creation; the world, the flesh, and the Devil have corrupted the method by which this desire is consummated. God created Adam as a single man. As time elapsed, it became obvious that Adam did not need to be alone but needed a wife. Although the details do vary from situation to situation, the principles of God’s provisions for companionship for Adam provide superior guidelines for someone seeking the same relationship today. Adam found a wife when the Lord brought Eve to him and not the other way around. Adam too did not go searching for a wife, but God brought her to him. Though times have changed, God can and will do the same today for those who faithfully love and serve Him.
Men often separate sins into categories of what they consider big and little sins. Murder and adultery are often classified as big sins, while little sins might include things like pride, “white” lies, or backbiting. Yet a closer look at Romans chapter 1 suggests that God’s viewpoint of sin varies greatly from ours. According to the scripture, a person given over to a reprobate mind is capable of all of these sins. Furthermore, the passage tells us that those “which commit such things are worthy of death” (Romans 1:32). Imagine that! The Lord views backbiting as a sin just as wicked and vile as murder. Not only does the Lord find the backbiter guilty, but also judges those who “have pleasure in them” that do the backbiting and other such sins.
Some Bible teachers have erroneously suggested that anger is a sin. But God actually commands His people to be angry, yet further instructs them not to allow that anger to push them to respond sinfully (Ephesians 4:26). If a man can be angry without sinning, then anger is not a sin. In fact, anger used in a righteous manner can accomplish many things for the Lord. One of the benefits of anger is found in today’s passage. A good, healthy, angry countenance can serve as the best remedy to keep people from backbiting others while in your presence. The reason people backbite others is because they have an audience for their vitriol. If we would express our displeasure, the backbiting would cease. Try it out! The backbiting tongue will cease the moment you respond with an angry countenance.
If you bite and chew your food enough times it will break down into small pieces and disappear into your stomach. In our passage, the apostle Paul informs us that our relationships with others bear the same truth. If we bite and devour one another, we will eventually consume each other. Many believers have quit attending the house of God and given up on serving the Lord because Christians have allowed their words to devour and consume. Just as food can only withstand so many bites before it is fully consumed, other believers can only take so much backbiting before weakened beyond their willingness to withstand. As the people of God, we are responsible for strengthening each other and surely will answer to God for any backbiting.
The apostle Paul was troubled greatly by the behaviour of the Corinthian believers. Due to their carnality, he could not speak to them as he would mature believers (1 Corinthians 3:1). Not only was Paul troubled by their actions during his absence, but also feared their condition when they would again meet face-to-face. He warned the believers that he would not be pleased if he found them guilty of such sins. Among the other shortcomings, Paul expressly mentioned their backbiting ways. The hope was that the Corinthian believers would repent of these grievous sins and simply do right. These admonitions should make believers reflect on the fact that the Lord Jesus could also come at any moment. How would He find us? Would we too be guilty of “debates, envyings, wraths, strifes, backbitings, whisperings, swellings,” and “tumults”?
The words that so flippantly slip from our tongues are often used by the Devil as weapons to wound others. When we think of biting something, we think of using our teeth; yet backbiting employs the tongue. Backbiting is the act of saying something disparaging about someone without regard to the harm caused to that person. Today’s passage demonstrates that the Lord considers backbiting a detestable act; so much so, that David said the backbiter would not abide in the Lord’s tabernacle. According to James chapter 3, the tongue kindles a great fire (James 3:5) and is a world of iniquity (James 3:6). The Bible proves that the quaint phrase used as a child, “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is both untrue and unscriptural. Instead, the tongue is “full of deadly poison” (James 3:8). Backbiting wounds its victims – wounds which sometimes fester for years under the surface!
