Nobody likes to spend time around those who act in a rude or insulting manner. Most people would rather spend people-time with those who focus on saying nice things. However, the truth is that one is just as spiritually dangerous to one's well-being as the other. This is why the Bible warns us to “meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.” Flattery is directly connected to deceit and covetousness; therefore, God intends for His warning to help Christians avoid people who say nice things deceitfully. These people intend to take advantage of their target. Far too many people have been mistreated and lied to by others whom they thought to be dear friends. It is best to avoid those with flattering lips.
The Devil is both very subtle and sly. He knows that being patient in his attacks against the truth can result in his ultimate victory as he wears down the saints. One of his primary objectives involves a close alliance between the self-help theology crowd and the use of flattery. Those caught up in this type of theology overemphasize the need to develop self-confidence rather than developing a God-confidence. These power of positive thinking proponents teach their followers to think positively of themselves even if those thoughts are unwarranted. Yet, the Bible offers a completely different perspective. According to scripture, the wicked “flattereth himself in his own eyes” (Psalm 36:2) and this self-flattery is “transgression” (Psalm 36:1). On the other hand, the faithful Christian realizes that “at his very best state he is altogether vanity” (Psalm 39:5). Christians need their self-confidence replaced with a greater confidence and trust in the Lord.
The Book of Job primarily focuses on the conversations between Job and his three friends. The content of many of their speeches seems to lack the expected wisdom until a younger man named Elihu takes the opportunity to speak. His words were packed with wisdom. One of the areas he addressed concerned giving flattering titles to men. Elihu declared that it was sinful to give men flattering titles and that he knew better than to do so. Keep in mind that flattery is based upon deceit and is never favourable. By refusing to give flattering titles to men, Elihu chose not to say anything concerning others simply to gain an advantage for himself. Elihu knew that God would bring this type of flattery into judgment.
Today's passage proves the Bible truth that our thoughts are not God’s thoughts, neither our ways His ways (Isaiah 55:8-9). God's thoughts are always unimaginably loftier than ours. Unlike God, our thoughts are bound by our limited knowledge. Contrary to the Lord’s, our knowledge is easily corrupted through various influences. This is why scripture reading and preaching often conflicts with our natural thought process. For instance, our natural mind considers rebuke something harmful, negatively affecting the person receiving it. We also naturally consider flattery as something beneficial and uplifting to the recipient. Yet, we have already seen how flattery can be harmful, but have you ever considered the superiority of a rebuke? The Bible says rebuke is better because of what it yields “afterwards.” In the long run, rebuke is far superior to flattery.
Biblical terminology is very important. For example, ignorance of Bible vocabulary has led people to believe that flattery is considerate if it makes others feel good. Yet, the picture presented by scripture is contrary to this line of thinking. Flattery harms both the giver and the recipient. According to scripture, “A lying tongue hateth those that are afflicted by it; and a flattering mouth worketh ruin” (Proverbs 26:28). While we have been led to believe flattery edifies, in reality, it destroys. This truth is confirmed in Proverbs 29:5 where the Bible says, “A man that flattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet.” Even the flatterer is harmed by his flattery: “He that speaketh flattery to his friends, even the eyes of his children shall fail” (Job 17:5). Without a doubt, flattery harms all those involved.
If you have trusted the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, you are no longer appointed to God’s wrath (1 Thessalonians 5:9); however, it helps to fully understand God’s hatred for sin. By understanding sin from God’s viewpoint, we can seek to emulate His love for righteousness while never abandoning His abhorrence of wickedness. In the days of king David, the Bible tells us that every man spoke vanity with his neighbour (Psalm 12:2). Men spoke with a double heart and with flattering lips (Psalm 12:2). They claimed that their lips were their own and that they possessed freedom to spew forth anything they chose to say (Psalm 12:4). God promised to rise up in judgment and “cut off all flattering lips” (Psalm 12:3).
The New Testament frequently incorporates minor word variations when quoting Old Testament passages. Some Bible critics have pointed to these variations suggesting that the Bible contains contradictions. However, Bible-believing students know that these variations actually provide additional light and understanding of God’s word. For example, Romans 3:13 quotes Psalm 5:9 with the variation in wording shedding light on the meaning of the word flattery. The phrase from Psalms reads “they flatter with their tongue” (Psalm 5:9). Romans modifies this Old Testament quotation by stating that “with their tongues they have used deceit” (Romans 3:13). This indicates that flattery involves the use of deceitful words; and according to 1 Thessalonians 2:5, the motive is often connected to covetousness.
A yoke was an instrument used to help two animals work together when plowing. The Lord Jesus said that believers should take His yoke upon them (Matthew 11:29). In other words, the Lord was saying that we should serve with Him in our service to Him. In 1 Corinthians 3:9, we learn that “we are labourers together with God.” Fellowshipping with the Lord means walking with Him (1 John 1:6-7), and walking with Him means being in agreement with Him (Amos 3:3). Just as God desired to fellowship with Adam (Genesis 3:8) and Enoch (Genesis 5:22), He desires to have fellowship with us today. It is very important that we have fellowship with other like-minded believers, but even more important that we fellowship with the Lord.
The importance of fellowship cannot be underestimated, but neither can the importance of refusing to fellowship. It is important to fellowship with the right people, but also equally important that we “have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness.” The people of God have no business yoking together with the world in any work of God no matter how beneficial the help might seem. Fellowship suggests an agreement amongst the involved parties. Yet, 2 Corinthians 6:14 drives home the point when it says, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?” When we fellowship with carnal believers or the unsaved, we accept their motives and objectives as our own.
Most churchgoers are familiar with what it means to extend the “the right hand of fellowship”; however, the actual biblical meaning is not so well known. Our passage shows James, Cephas (Peter), and John offering the “the right hands of fellowship” to Paul and Barnabas. What was the significance of this act? By giving the right hands of fellowship, these believers were agreeing to serve God together. James, Cephas, and John would focus on reaching the Jewish people (the circumcision), while Paul and Barnabas would focus on reaching the Gentiles (the uncircumcision). When we offer someone the right hand of fellowship, we are agreeing to serve God with that believer.
