With all the difficult challenges that a woman faces within the home, it should not be surprising that the Lord repeatedly gave warnings against a woman with a contentious spirit. How does the downward spiral begin? She may spend her life serving others with little to no thanks. She may honour and submit to a husband who deserves little honour or authority. If she does not continually walk with the Lord, she can become disillusioned with the Lord and with her duties as a mother and wife. She might begin to be contentious (Proverbs 21:9; Proverbs 25:24; Proverbs 27:15) causing greater problems in the home, perhaps to the point of causing those she loves to become bitter against her (Colossians 3:19).
The Bible shows us that even heathen kings know it is proper for a woman to honour her husband. Some might suggest that because these words were spoken by a heathen, the reader should discount them, but these truths are supported elsewhere in scripture. For instance, Ephesians 5:33 says that the wife is to reverence her husband. Sara honoured Abraham, even to the point of calling him lord (1 Peter 3:6). Even Abigail, who had a husband that was a man of Belial, honoured her husband when she kept David from ending Nabal’s life (1 Samuel 25:23-33). A woman who honours her husband honours the Lord. She does so because the Lord commands it, not because her husband necessarily deserves her honour.
A good wife and mother will exemplify a type of selflessness like no one else upon the earth. Proverbs offers a wonderful examination into her life and ways. Her life is one of sacrifice, often putting the needs and wants of her household ahead of her own. She labours to take care of her family (Proverbs 31:16-19). She looks well to the ways of her household while enjoying little to no idle time (Proverbs 31:27). Yet at day’s end, she rises up to give meat to her household (Proverbs 31:15). All the while, she can open her mouth with wisdom with the law of kindness in her tongue (Proverbs 31:26). The Bible points to her only reward as the praise of her husband and children (Proverbs 31:28). This reward may seem insignificant to the world, but to her the love of her family is both sufficient and worth the effort.
The Bible explicitly emphasizes the spiritual responsibility of providing for one’s family. Sometimes believers wrongfully distinguish between the ministry work and any so-called secular work, but both are accomplished scripturally and prayerfully to please the Lord. 1 Timothy 5:8, in the direct context, deals with the responsibilities of providing for a household member who is a widow; yet, the emphasis upon “those of his own house” broadens the scope. A man who fails or refuses to provide for the needs of his family has “denied the faith” and said to be “worse than an infidel.” That is certainly a stiff and stern rebuke. It remains the man’s responsibility to provide for his family regardless of how far societal norms move away from God’s precepts. This does not mean that the woman cannot assist in the provision (Proverbs 31:13-16) but that the responsibility still belongs to the man.
