Marriage involves a relationship between a man and a woman, but what constitutes a scriptural marriage? Scripturally speaking, it is not merely “flesh joining flesh.” This is plain in that a man could marry a wife only to find that she had been unfaithful with another man to whom she was not married (Deuteronomy 24:1; Matthew 5:32). It is also clear that Shechem defiled Dinah, but then asked if she could become his wife (Genesis 34:1-4). The woman at the well had an improper relationship with a man, but the Lord declared that that particular man was not her husband (John 4:16-18). Instead, marriage occurs when God joins a man and a woman (Genesis 2:21-24; Mark 10:9), and it is often established by a ceremony with vows given to each other (Matthew 22:1-13; John 2:1-2).
No believer should knowingly marry an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6:14). Additionally, the unmarried should look for other strengths and weaknesses in a prospective spouse before agreeing to marriage. Oftentimes, these strengths and weaknesses can be seen by interaction with the other’s parents. Isaac lied about Rebekah (Genesis 26:6-7) just as his father Abraham lied about Sarah (Genesis 12:10-13; Genesis 20:1-2). Solomon’s weakness for women (1 Kings 11:1) was first witnessed in his father David (2 Samuel 11:1-4). Rachel learned deception (Genesis 31:32-35) by watching her father act deceptively (Genesis 29:25). A careful observation of parents can reveal prospective problems in a future spouse.
Chastening is best associated to a parent-child relationship (Deuteronomy 8:5; 2 Samuel 7:14; Proverbs 13:24; Proverbs 19:18; Hebrews 12:6-8). As such, God’s chastening, at least within the New Testament, is only intended for those He calls His sons (1 John 3:2). God chastens His children, not to administer justice, but to strengthen and correct them. The believer does not receive some type of punishment from the Lord resulting from the believer’s sins because these sins have been completely atoned through the shed blood of Christ. However, the saint’s continued practice of sin requires the chastening hand of the Lord in order to conform him into the image of Christ. While chastening is reserved exclusively for sons, a lost man receives only punishment or salvation.
Man can, at times, readily recognize problems that arise, but often initially reacts with solutions to remove the problem out of sight. As the disciples looked out over the multitude in today’s passage, they saw thousands in a desert place with a lack of provisions. They quickly viewed what seemed to them as an insurmountable problem. As evening approached, they came to the Lord and suggested that He send the people away. The disciples were more comfortable with the problem if it was out of sight, out of mind, and not theirs to face. Their suggestion was an unacceptable solution. For this reason, the Lord put the problem back upon the disciples when He said to them, “Give ye them to eat” (Mark 6:37). In other words, the problem would not go away or solve itself. The Lord directed the disciples to find a solution and their turning a blind eye was completely unacceptable.
Godly ladies are known for the love they express toward others. Isaiah 49:15 might be used to argue otherwise, but the Lord references a mother’s love to depict the peak of earthly love. This passage simply points out that the mother’s love only fails to reach the pinnacle when compared to God’s own love toward His creation. God made a woman’s heart tender, but sin can harden this tender heart. For this reason, the older women within the New Testament church are instructed to nurture this particular trait within the younger women by teaching them how to love their husbands and their children (Titus 2:4). When things are spiritually right, the godly woman makes it her priority to care for those whom God has given her, and she does so in love. Examples of this love permeate the pages of scripture.
A normal man naturally desires to protect what God has given to him. Jacob was not always the best example of godliness, but he had the right desire to protect his family from harm. The Bible reveals to us how he reacted when he could see his brother Esau approaching. Unsure of how this reunion might disintegrate into harm, Jacob divided his family with the most precious at the rear. As his family’s protector, Jacob led the caravan. If there was going to be trouble, he would have an opportunity to intervene offering his family an opportunity to flee for safety. According to Ephesians 5:25, a man’s protection should include a willingness to lay down his life for his wife. A godly man will always intercede between his home and the impending danger.
Job’s home was certainly not a perfect home, but God testified to this man’s faithfulness. The Bible points to prayer as one of Job’s most faithful qualities. Job continually sought the Lord on his children’s behalf with offerings and prayer. One might consider this a simple task if the family loves and serves God together. Yet, Job’s wife is the only indicator we have of Job’s family and she mocked Job’s faithfulness (Job 2:9). Some husbands and fathers are quick to point out the errors of those within their home, but could only be moved to prayerful intercession before the Lord by a tragic event. A man who fails to pray for his God-given family is really no man at all.
Loyalty may seem to go unobserved but eventually yields unexpected and momentous dividends. The story of Esther’s uncle uniquely exemplifies this point. Mordecai sat in the king’s gate in Shushan. One day, while he sat in the gate, he overheard two men plotting to kill the king. When Mordecai heard the news, he immediately repeated these words to Queen Esther, thus foiling the plot. The two men were tried, found guilty, and ultimately executed. At first, Mordecai’s loyalty seemed to remain unnoticed, but one night the king was troubled and could not sleep. His servants, by divine providence, read the record of Mordecai’s loyalty to him (Esther 6:1-3). Soon thereafter, Mordecai’s loyalty was rewarded (Esther 6:4-11). His loyalty most likely saved his life and spared the lives of countless Jews (see Esther chapter 7).
Loyalty is a beautiful trait. Loyalty leads men to do significant things for others although the reasons for doing so could be considered insignificant. The actions of David’s men offer a prime example when David was in exile from his throne. Perhaps David was simply reminiscing when he mentioned his longing for a drink of water from the well of Bethlehem. Why not get a drink from any well? What was so special about the water from Bethlehem’s well? Regardless of these minor details, three of David’s mighty men heard the desire of their king. Their loyalty compelled them to go. These men had to break through the host of the Philistines in order to get the water from the well of David’s desire. They risked their lives and for what? Was it merely a drink of water? To them it was much more than that—it was a special loyalty they each had for their king!
Loyalty to David likely placed a bounty on a man’s head. As David fled from Absalom and the city of Jerusalem, it became increasingly dangerous to offer any type of assistance to David. Barzillai, regardless of the personal danger, chose to risk everything for David (2 Samuel 17:27-29). When it came time for David to travel back to reclaim his throne, Barzillai journeyed part of the way with David. Scripture identifies Barzillai as “a very great man.” Perhaps this description identifies him as materially wealthy, but it no doubt also speaks of his character. His character is further manifested in his final conversation with David (2 Samuel 19:33-38). When David regained his authority, he sought any opportunity to return favour for Barzillai’s loyalty. No matter the accolades or advantage, Barzillai did not help David for personal gain.
