The Lord gave specific commandments to both the husband and the wife. The Lord, knowing that man’s foremost love was, by nature, himself, commanded the man to “love” his wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Additionally, the Lord, knowing that a woman would not naturally desire to submit, commanded the wife to submit to her own husband, as unto the Lord. This does not suggest that she only goes along with her husband so long as she agrees with his decisions, neither does it mean that she can never offer input into the decision-making process. But, in the end, she follows her husband’s leading, trusting the Lord to bless her faithfulness.
The Bible shows us that even heathen kings know it is proper for a woman to honour her husband. Some might suggest that because these words were spoken by a heathen, the reader should discount them, but these truths are supported elsewhere in scripture. For instance, Ephesians 5:33 says that the wife is to reverence her husband. Sara honoured Abraham, even to the point of calling him lord (1 Peter 3:6). Even Abigail, who had a husband that was a man of Belial, honoured her husband when she kept David from ending Nabal’s life (1 Samuel 25:23-33). A woman who honours her husband honours the Lord. She does so because the Lord commands it, not because her husband necessarily deserves her honour.
Godly ladies are known for the love they express toward others. Isaiah 49:15 might be used to argue otherwise, but the Lord references a mother’s love to depict the peak of earthly love. This passage simply points out that the mother’s love only fails to reach the pinnacle when compared to God’s own love toward His creation. God made a woman’s heart tender, but sin can harden this tender heart. For this reason, the older women within the New Testament church are instructed to nurture this particular trait within the younger women by teaching them how to love their husbands and their children (Titus 2:4). When things are spiritually right, the godly woman makes it her priority to care for those whom God has given her, and she does so in love. Examples of this love permeate the pages of scripture.
A good wife and mother will exemplify a type of selflessness like no one else upon the earth. Proverbs offers a wonderful examination into her life and ways. Her life is one of sacrifice, often putting the needs and wants of her household ahead of her own. She labours to take care of her family (Proverbs 31:16-19). She looks well to the ways of her household while enjoying little to no idle time (Proverbs 31:27). Yet at day’s end, she rises up to give meat to her household (Proverbs 31:15). All the while, she can open her mouth with wisdom with the law of kindness in her tongue (Proverbs 31:26). The Bible points to her only reward as the praise of her husband and children (Proverbs 31:28). This reward may seem insignificant to the world, but to her the love of her family is both sufficient and worth the effort.
A normal man naturally desires to protect what God has given to him. Jacob was not always the best example of godliness, but he had the right desire to protect his family from harm. The Bible reveals to us how he reacted when he could see his brother Esau approaching. Unsure of how this reunion might disintegrate into harm, Jacob divided his family with the most precious at the rear. As his family’s protector, Jacob led the caravan. If there was going to be trouble, he would have an opportunity to intervene offering his family an opportunity to flee for safety. According to Ephesians 5:25, a man’s protection should include a willingness to lay down his life for his wife. A godly man will always intercede between his home and the impending danger.
The Bible explicitly emphasizes the spiritual responsibility of providing for one’s family. Sometimes believers wrongfully distinguish between the ministry work and any so-called secular work, but both are accomplished scripturally and prayerfully to please the Lord. 1 Timothy 5:8, in the direct context, deals with the responsibilities of providing for a household member who is a widow; yet, the emphasis upon “those of his own house” broadens the scope. A man who fails or refuses to provide for the needs of his family has “denied the faith” and said to be “worse than an infidel.” That is certainly a stiff and stern rebuke. It remains the man’s responsibility to provide for his family regardless of how far societal norms move away from God’s precepts. This does not mean that the woman cannot assist in the provision (Proverbs 31:13-16) but that the responsibility still belongs to the man.
Job’s home was certainly not a perfect home, but God testified to this man’s faithfulness. The Bible points to prayer as one of Job’s most faithful qualities. Job continually sought the Lord on his children’s behalf with offerings and prayer. One might consider this a simple task if the family loves and serves God together. Yet, Job’s wife is the only indicator we have of Job’s family and she mocked Job’s faithfulness (Job 2:9). Some husbands and fathers are quick to point out the errors of those within their home, but could only be moved to prayerful intercession before the Lord by a tragic event. A man who fails to pray for his God-given family is really no man at all.
As the head of the home, the man bares the responsibility for the biblical training of every individual within his home. Yet, many homes today have no man in them. Regardless of society’s disintegration, there is never a time when the man ever relinquishes his accountability to God as the spiritual leader of his home. In today’s passage, we read of Abraham bearing his personal responsibility. According to God’s testimony, Abraham bore that responsibility well. The Lord testified that Abraham would command his children and household after him. Abraham’s family would keep the way of the LORD and would do justice and judgment. Unfortunately, the same cannot be expressed for far too many modern Christian homes. In fact, church pews are overflowing with faithful women while their men are absentee husbands expressing little to no interest in the things of God.
As the world seeks to further weaken any distinctions between men and women, it becomes even more important to stand firm upon God’s principles. God has a defined order in the home and the worldly attitudes do not alter God’s precepts. Someone has to be the leader of each home and bear the responsibility. According to 1 Corinthians 11:3, the proper order is a woman submitted to a man, who is submitted to Christ, who is submitted to the heavenly Father. Christ’s submission to the Father in no way suggested inferiority to the Father, nor does a submissive wife indicate any type of inferiority to her husband. In fact, it takes a stronger woman to follow God’s plan of submission. A godly home follows the scripture even when it contradicts the generally accepted teachings of the day.
